Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

I know you will think this is very wrong of me but.....

115 replies

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 08/12/2005 19:16

I am starving my children to teach them a lesson!

The story is that dd, for 3 weeks now, has been refusing her meals. She sits there in front of it, perhaps occasionally picking up a single carrot or eating all the pasta that has not been tainted with sauce of any kind. She will then eat her pudding and ask for more dessert. Ds does the same, although admittedly he has been ill recently, but today he has eaten chocolate, yoghurts and compotes without any objection, yet when given his pasta dish, he threw a wobbly that the pasta was mixed in with the sauce and threw the lot across the table.

Sooooo, we have had enough. They have never had anything different to what we have had. We have tried the approach of just taking it away, giving them their pudding and that's that, but that is what they have been living off for 3 weeks now. They've recently started becoming fussy over their breakfasts too.

I'm not one to make an issue over food, but after watching dd again move her food around her plate with a sulky face, and witness ds throw his food all over the table, we have decided on drastic measures.

They get a drink of milk at supper, a drink of milk at breakfast. Absolutely no snacks of any kind. Dd goes to school with just milk inside her, hopefully she will eat her lunch. At tea-time they do not get any dessert unless they have eaten well, if they have not eaten their lunch they do not get any tea. We are hoping that they will get so hungry they will start eating again.

So you can condemn me now!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

DingDongMaloryOnHighTowers · 08/12/2005 19:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

geranium · 08/12/2005 19:20

sounds fair enough. If anything, I'm surprised you've been letting them have the desserts so far!

expatinscotland · 08/12/2005 19:21

Hey, it worked on me! I was the same way until they gave me the treatment. As my mum says, 'When they get hungry enough, they'll eat it.'

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Glitterygook · 08/12/2005 19:22

Fair enough. It's exactly what I do!

Tonight both ds1 and ds2 pushed their plate of pasta away saying 'I don't like that' without even trying it so they've gone to bed now with absolutely nothing.

I'm at the end of my rope with it, it's driving me nuts making food they don't eat. They'll have to learn that they eat their meal or there's nothing.

BluStocking · 08/12/2005 19:22

Er, could you not just have provided savoury first course, and if they didn't eat that - tough?
Anyway, hope it does the trick!

Original poster

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 08/12/2005 19:24

Well previously on MN the advice has been to take away what they have left, and give them their dessert, not to withhold food from them and never make it an issue or you'll give them food disorders or some such nonsense!

So where were you folk when I was asking all this a few months ago huh??????????

OP posts:

JonesTheSteamingSanta · 08/12/2005 19:24

CRSEIH - think I might be trying this approach with DD soon - she has discovered an aversion to meat - not an ethical one, just in an "I-can't-be-bothered-to-chew-it-way". DS is an excellent eater!!!!!

They generally eat the same as me and DH so it's becoming a pain - I too am fed up of the sulky push it round a plate thing!!!!

expatinscotland · 08/12/2005 19:27

Well, look at it this way: in most places in the world, if you don't eat what's given, there is nothing else to eat.

bobbybob · 08/12/2005 19:27

Personally I just wouldn't have desserts for a bit - then the sweet stuff isn't a reward. My mum still leaves room for her sweet and it drives me mad watching her eat 4 peas and a single carrot so she isn't too full to eat half a packet of biscuits after the meal.

Glitterygook · 08/12/2005 19:29

Eh? I never give dessert if they don't eat a hearty portion of their main meal - I've said that on looooooads of threads If I think they are a bit unwell or whatever then they can have fruit but otherwise none.

PantomimEDAMe · 08/12/2005 19:29

I was a fussy eater as a child and the refusal to eat food that has been contaminated by other food is horribly familiar. I can understand your frustration (have realised with ds quite what a pain in the bum I must have been). But I would have been that child who only ate the bare pasta! And it would have been because I was revolted by food covered in sauce of any description - sauce on the side that I could dip my food in was fine, but having it all mixed in together was, to me, disusting. Sorry.

Could you not compromise and serve pasta with sauce on the side?

mummycan · 08/12/2005 19:33

I know i am a mean mummy. I never force my dd to eat if she tells me that she is full but I do tell her that if she is too full for her main course/pasta/vegetables then she is too full for pudding. At least then food isn't an issue but she doesn't jusyt eat sweets. (That's what I tell myself anyway).

Good luck CRSEH - they can be little buggers about food can't they?

bobbybob · 08/12/2005 19:33

Actually I did read an article about over sensitive palates and food with a "double texture" so a stew with lumps and gravy or pasta with sauce.

Because of ds allergies we eat meal and 3 veg type meals every night (sometimes "meat" might be tofu, fish or falafel) this collection of dry foods that he can eat one at a time in his own order is much more successful than when he goes to Gran's and she has cooked these weird and wonderful one pot meals that he can technically eat - but won't because he doesn't recognise the individual ingredients.

PantomimEDAMe · 08/12/2005 19:40

Oh, that's interesting Bobbybob - maybe I had an excuse then? Things like trifle horrified me because it was all mixed in together. Yee-uck.

Original poster

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 08/12/2005 19:54

Well, I definitely remember posting about food here once and the advice I got was never to make an issue of it and do not deny them their dessert, as punishing them over food makes it an issue - so that's what I did!

We usually do serve pasta on the side with the sauce, all that happens is that dd will eat the pasta and not the sauce, which is what she was doing tonight. So from now on the pasta gets mixed with the sauce.

Ds won't even try the food! Today he seemed quite excited about it, hungry even, he tried to get a bit of pasta onto his fork, failed twice and then threw the paddy and his food. So he goes hungry. He's had milk and that's it, he'll probably wake in the night screaming because he's hungry!

We've told dd no breakfast tomorrow (she didn't eat it this morning anyway), a morning at school on an empty stomach might prompt her to eat her lunch. No chocs from the advent calender, no fruit or snacks of any kind, until their eating patterns improve.

We're going through the pain barrier with this one!

OP posts:

MistleToo · 08/12/2005 20:14

it's kind of bizarre that when mine were tots they get dinner and pud (I hasten to add usually out of jar - yeah I know!) but when they got older we didn't have dessert at all as I didn't want them to get into that habit.

I think you're doing the right thing - let em know who's boss

Original poster

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 08/12/2005 20:28

Thanks! I'm not usually a dessert person myself, I don't have a sweet tooth, but will give them a yoghurt or compote or piece of fruit after their meal. Sometimes I'll even do something nice for dessert! My dh has to have desserts and he'll sit and eat a chocolate bar in front of the kids whilst they cry and drool at the sight, I couldn't do that!

OP posts:

EliBeentoSantasGrotto · 08/12/2005 20:38

I've always given yoghurt or fruit or very occasional baby-food puds after both meals, but then DD has always been a good eater except when ill. When she's ill, she'll eat mostly hummus and yoghurt - soft, squishy things, which makes sense. BUT she's about to turn 2, and I can see things changing....so I'm reading and learning.
Breakfast though, its a long way off from lunch...why no breakfast, Cliff? Isn't it a healthy meal (or are they on to croissants, yum)?

Original poster

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 08/12/2005 20:40

NO brekkie cause then hopefully they will be hungry enough to eat their lunch. Neither of them are eating their breakfasts right now either, heaven knows what they live on! I refuse to make food that is going to go in the bin. Starvation until they eat what is in front of them!

OP posts:

Mercy · 08/12/2005 21:59

Cliff - how old are your children? I've been trying this with ds (21 months) except for the desserts bit. We are now several months down the line to no avail. He's ok for 2/3 days and then it's one or 2 mouthfuls of food per meal for days on end. And he's still really chubby and healthy! Luckily dd is a great eater.

Do not condemn you in the slightest!

Original poster

CliffRichardSucksEggsinHell · 08/12/2005 22:04

dd is 5.5, ds will be 2 on Sunday. He is a malicious little bugger!

OP posts:

moondog · 08/12/2005 22:04

Good on you cliff.
Mind you,I do this every day (and there is very rarely a pudding either.)

nooka · 08/12/2005 22:40

My dd (5) has a similar no sauce thing. She really really doesn't like anything she doesn't recognise. She used to throw complete wobblies if there was a speck of sauce on her plate, and would never ever try anything new. She is getting better though. I put a very small amount of the new food on her plate, and make sure that it doesn't touch anything else. The rule is she has to try it if she wants pudding. I don't think that it is a problem if she eats plain pasta to be honest - we do the all the "more for us" line, which my mum used on me, and over time I think it works without getting into big fights. Oh, and we leave her to eat whilst the rest of us go off and have fun - she is a very slow eater. It is irritating, but on the other hand ds eats loads and will try everything. We just make sure that we let dd know she is missing out, and encourage her to try things. Sometimes she even likes them! In the past we did plain bit of bread if nothing else eaten, as I don't like them to go to bed hungry (makes her get up very very early). You should really try to get her to eat some breakfast though, it's not very good for them to go without (bread and butter maybe?) have to say my two just aren't very hungry in the morning, but we have been known to have croissants with chocolate spread!

morocco · 08/12/2005 22:58

hmm
sort of agree and sort of don't

eg, your ds is only 2 and tried to get the pasta on his fork then gave up in frustration - it does sound like he wanted to eat. Is he old enough to understand the concept of no lunch = no tea?

I know what you mean about the waste of food issue but I wouldn't withold a meal on that principle either - just cook a tiny bit of whatever it is you give them maybe? no first course = no dessert sounds entirely sensible though - it's not like it's a necessary part of a diet unless it's fruit - no harm in an apple after an unsuccessful first course is there?

also I let ds1 have his sauce separate, in fact half his meals end up separated in some way. I can't say it's the best thing to do, ask me in 20 years time, but it doesn't seem so bad to me - not even any extra hassle really. why not sauce and pasta separate?

Sounds like you're getting pretty p####d off with them anyway so hope it works out how you want

thecattleareALOHing · 08/12/2005 23:01

I know my ds is pretty extreme in his klutziness, but at 2 there is no way he could have managed pasta with a fork and would definitely have given up. he even has trouble with a spoon tbh.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5