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Parenting

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Original poster

to ask If I my reaction to this is normal?

83 replies

TraditionalSemi · 08/07/2011 21:36

I'm a namechanger, and have changed some identifying details but the gist of it remains the same.

My 7 year old neice has started doing sleepovers at her best friend's house, probably 2 to 3 a month.

The family are lovely and well known to me and my family, for over 8 years.

I was speaking to the mom last week and she mentioned how comfortable Maisie (say) is at her house.

To the extent that Maisie and Lola (the best friend) are often found in bed with Lola's mummy and daddy in the night.

The parents sleeep naked.

I was a bit taken aback by this and I am now worried that my reaction is misplaced.

How would you feel?

(Please note, I do not feel that Maisie is in any danger at all, but am surprised at the openness of this family)

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magicmummy1 · 08/07/2011 21:38

How do you know that they sleep naked?

smileyfacestar · 08/07/2011 21:39

Not good. Are they really sleeping naked with someone else's child in their bed? They are leaving themselves open to all sorts of accusations. Wow.

Original poster

TraditionalSemi · 08/07/2011 21:40

Lola's mummy told me.

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thisisyesterday · 08/07/2011 21:43

does Maisie's mum know?

if so, and if she is fine with it, then I think that's that really.

how would I feel? I'd like to think that if it was a very close friend then i'd have no problem with it.
in reality, i might find it a bit weird.
hmm

smileyfacestar · 08/07/2011 21:45

That really is wrong. Ok if they prefer to sleep naked when they are on their own or even if they are comfortable walking around naked in front of their family. Of course could be entirely innocent. I don't think a friend should be in their bed full stop. I certainly wouldn't do it.

magicmummy1 · 08/07/2011 21:46

I find it a bit weird that she felt the need to discuss this with you tbh. But if Maisie and her parents are ok with it, then I guess it isn't a problem.

Personally, I wouldn't want this for my daughter.

MoonGirl1981 · 08/07/2011 21:47

Ooooooo, I'm not 100% comfortable being naked in bed with my own child!

No, that's odd.

Very odd.

Needs to be addressed (ha!) as soon as.

squeakytoy · 08/07/2011 21:52

did lolas mummy tell you that they slept naked when the children are in the bed, or just as part of a general conversation in the past? If the latter, then it could be that they wear pj's when the child has a friend there...

I still think it rather odd that the girls would be in the same bed as the parents though, and wouldnt be all that comfortable with it at all.

blueeyedmonster · 08/07/2011 21:55

Hmmmmm i wouldn't be happy if that were my dc.

worraliberty · 08/07/2011 21:57

Strange

Not just that two 7yr olds on a sleepover would decide to sleep with the parents, but for them not to put any clothes on...and then for the Mum to discuss it with you.

Just very odd

Cocoflower · 08/07/2011 21:59

Are the parents English? Some cultures have a very different attitude with nudity is why I ask.

CandiceMariePratt · 08/07/2011 21:59

I wouldn't want my dd sleeping with a pair of nudes. Seems most odd

ENormaSnob · 08/07/2011 22:00

Very odd imo.

Lindax · 08/07/2011 22:00

repeating other posters - I wouldnt be comfortable with this, but if Maise's mum knows and is ok with it I wouldnt think it was a problem.

I would let my SIS/SIL know (in a casual, non accusing, just happen to mention it way)

IDrinkFromTheirSkulls · 08/07/2011 22:01

Completely wrong to do it with someone elses child.

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 08/07/2011 22:06

Hmm.

I wonder if she told you because she actually wants you to go to your sister and tell her to stop her DD getting into her bed at night?!

It may be this mum sleeps naked, doesn't want to stop, and is fed up with surprise night-time visits from a child not her own - but doesn't know how to say?

I guess I am reaching a bit here, but it's about the only explanation that makese sense to me of why she'd tell you. She may feel she has to stress how nice and comfortable with it your niece is in order not to sound as if she's criticizing a 7-year-old for coming to sleep with her friends' naked parents.

ontheroadagain · 08/07/2011 22:08

Its wrong for them to have someone elses child in their bed.
I would not be happy if it was my child.

magicmummy1 · 08/07/2011 22:08

Hmm, maybe LRD. I agree it's hard to make sense of the conversation otherwise.

Lotkinsgonecurly · 08/07/2011 22:15

I do think its odd. But the best way to approach it IMO is to mention to the naked mother that sorry the niece is always in their bed in a sleepover. Send her back to her own bed.
< Am assuming no one would be naked when the conversation is happening>

CarnivalBizarre · 08/07/2011 22:20

It does sound very odd - maybe nothing untoward but still a bit peculiar. Maybe the child whose home your niece is staying at regularly gets into bed with her parents in the middle of the night and your niece is just following suit so as not to be left alone in a strange house?

Whatever the reason for the children to be getting into bed with the naked parents, it should have been discouraged from the first time it happened and the parents should be making a point of covering up when their childs friend is staying over just in case they have little visitors during the night

onepieceofcremeegg · 08/07/2011 22:23

It's inappropriate imo. Not just the nakedness, but the co-sleeping. It is open to misinterpretation and misunderstanding for a start.
It all sounds a bit far fetched tbh.

I could believe it if it was a one off, where the child and visiting child went into the parents' bed and the parents were taken by surprise. But if that were to happen, the parents imo should immediately cover up.

If the parents usually co-sleep (naked or otherwise) with their own children, this should not happen with visiting children.

MoonGirl1981 · 08/07/2011 22:25

Am amazed there's room in their bed for them and two seven year olds.

We have a kingsized bed and most nights I lay there resenting my partner for taking up space (and we're both average in size)!

Original poster

TraditionalSemi · 08/07/2011 22:26

It was told to me antecdotally by Lola's mummy.

LRD you may have a point.

Maisie does't get into her parents' bed at home.

(My WiFi is playing up - sorry if it appears I am posting and running.)

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muminthecity · 08/07/2011 22:26

My DD is 5 and when her best friend comes over to stay I often end up with both girls in my bed. Same happens when my DD stays at her house. However, I am best friends with the friend's mother and both of us wear pyjamas!

bonkers20 · 08/07/2011 22:30

How odd that the father deems it appropriate to be in be in bed naked with a friend of his daughter. That's just not right.

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