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Original poster

Mums with 2 year age gap

74 replies

Ivortheengine8 · 21/06/2011 17:02

It's a bit late to ask this now as I am due with our second in October when our DD will be exactly 2 years old (also born mid October!)
But the realisation has hit.
Am I doomed?
Please convince me that there is a way of getting through it with a 2 year old and a new baby. :)

My dd has always been very active, she walks most places now unless we are going a long way but she doesnt like sitting still for long and prefers being outdoors. 'Shoes' and 'walk' are her favourite words at the moment!
She is quite independant, will go off and do stuff by herself for half an hour or so and is not really clingy.
She has started the tantrums though which I am trying to ignore at the moment and let it pass over. (usually when we are at the shops or she wants to go in somewhere) She obviously feeds herself etc and I don't have to do a huge deal for her. She seems to like seeing babies in town and she now points to them and says 'babu!' She takes her baby annabelle doll around with her too.

But will all this change do you think?
How easy/hard did you find it having this age gap?
Did you regret it in any way not having waited longer?
How about jealousy?

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fruitshootsandheaves · 21/06/2011 17:09

I have a 2 year gap between DD1 and DS1 and it was just right imo. My DD1 was very similar to yours by the sound of it, very active and not clingy.
They did have a few squabbles but played together nicely most of the time. DD would always go and get her potty and do a wee as soon as I started to breastfeed DS. That was her way of saying 'don't ignore me!' and she did go through a phase of deliberately missing the potty so i would have to stop to go and clear it up. But not reacting to it seemed to stop that.
They are both teenagers and mostly just grunt at each other now!

fruitshootsandheaves · 21/06/2011 17:10

DD1 and DS1 are 2 years and 9 days apart!

Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 21/06/2011 17:15

Grin We have bought DD a potty and she has associated it with wee wee and pooh pooh but unfortunately she has not yet done a wee wee or pooh in it yet! (just on the floor nearby) Think we may have to wait a bit for that but at least she has taken some kind of ineterest!

How did you take them out? I have bought a single pram for the baby and a sling so that if DD gets really tired she can have a nap int he pram while I put baby in the sling. I don't know how this will work but I was trying to avoid a double buggy as I use PT quite a bit here as we are in London and it gets very crowded on buses etc.

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Ivortheengine8 · 21/06/2011 17:16

DD was born on the 15th (with a Due date of 18th)
Baby is due on the 19th! Grin
Hubby is a computer programmer so we think he must have programmed it that way!

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fruitshootsandheaves · 21/06/2011 17:27

It was nearly 16 years ago and there weren't as many pram varieties then.
when DS was tiny we still had our big heavy Silvercross pram and we had a seat for dd on it. But she liked to walk everywhere and soon out grew it. I used a backpack alot until she got too heavy and then we bought a pushchair with an attached stand on the back behind the handles so DD could stand and ride if she got tired of walking.

Was all going swimmingly until I had DD2 21 months later and then i think i just stopped going anywhere Grin

MrsOnTheMove · 21/06/2011 17:43

Our DD's are 2 years and 1 month apart. DD1 was very independant! We included her in everything and made sure she got plenty of fuss when DD2 was born. There was no jealousy. She loved helping out Grin and the two are now very close.

DD1 tends to 'mother' DD2 Hmm but they both look out for one another (age 6 and 8) and although hard work in the early days, I was constantly tired especially potty stage I wouldn't change a thing. They are best friends and I like to think that was down to the fact that we were very positive about the age gap.

We bought a tandem pram for when DD1 wanted a rest - it was rarely used. A sling might have suited us better but I do not remember them being widely available?

MrsOnTheMove · 21/06/2011 17:46

sorry should have previewed!

independent

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Ivortheengine8 · 21/06/2011 17:51

Sounds good so far! :)

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Lovemy2babies · 21/06/2011 19:25

Tis great!
They are now 1 and 3 and love playing with each other.

Hard at first as pfb has to get used to less attention but if you grandparents nearby who can substitute attention then you'll sail through...

GilbonzoTheSecretPsychoDuck · 21/06/2011 19:31

I have 23 months between my two and I wouldn't want any other age gap. They get on brilliantly now (dd,3 and ds,5) and I never had any jealousy issues or any other problems when dd was born. Love it!

Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 21/06/2011 19:35

Thats good to hear. I always heard horror stories about the 2 year age gap!
How did you other ladies deal with the transport issue? Did your dc1 walk most of the time by the dc2 came or did you have a double?

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MatchsticksForMyEyes · 21/06/2011 19:37

29 months between mine. They mostly get on well now DD is 3.6 and DS 12mo, apart from the occasional squeals over toys. The first thing DD asks in the mornings is where her brother is and his face lights up when he sees her, so I agree with pp that the early months are hard, it is really good now.

SaltNSauce · 21/06/2011 19:37

My two youngest are 2 years and 16 days apart.
I did find that when I breastfed, DD2 would always find some mischief to get up to to get attention, usually making her way along the back of the sofa behind me.
I was a bit desperate to get DD2 into a nursery and found one for her, afternoons only when DD3 was around 6 months. That helped.
Some of it was hellish. Most ok and of course some good times.
They now either fight like cat and dog or play together really nicely.

I much preferred the 5 year gap between DD1 and 2.

PistyNoMates · 21/06/2011 19:42

You're not doomed at all. Mine are now 14&12 and it's still good
We managed without a double pushchair. Did sling and pushchair, then buugy board and pushchair.

It's lovely. Dont worry!!

oooggs · 21/06/2011 19:42

our twins were 21 mths when ds3 was born and it is a brilliant age gap. Yes hard work in the begining but not impossible and now at 4,4 & 2 (girl, boy & boy) they get on great

I have found it much easier than a 3.3 yr age gap at the other end with ds1 now being 7!!!

SaltNSauce · 21/06/2011 19:47

Oh and I got a Phil and Teds as DD2 was a bolter and I didn't trust her not run off from a buggy board. She managed to get out of the straps on it in no time mind you. Tried a Baby Bjorn carrier and single pushchair but it killed my back.

Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 21/06/2011 19:50

Matchsticks thats so lovely! (sniff)
Interesting salt, I guess when they are older they can help you a bit more maybe?
I'm thinking about a buggyboard too pisty.
Ooooggs that must have been a handful, glad you are encouraging about it though! I guess the 7 year old has other interests entirely?

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Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 21/06/2011 19:51

I think there were at least 3 years between all of us children and none of us are that close. I have twin brothers OOg and they still can't stand each other now at 37!! I think girl /boy twin get on better though?

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Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 21/06/2011 19:54

True salt, if I am honest I didnt use the sling a lot with DD1 because it would hurt my back and I had backache a long time after the birth. Hoping it will just be for short periods though. I know there are mixed feelings on buggyboards. I may end up getting a double who knows?!

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tassisssss · 21/06/2011 19:56

My girls are 21months apart and it was a doddle for the first 6 months or so as dd2 just BF or slept, it was pretty tricky for the next year or so and now at just 3 and approaching 5 it's just lovely...they play so well together (most of the time!!).

When BFing dd2 (if we were at home!) I had a special cup (Emma Bridgewater 2 handed affair if you don't mind!) that I'd put pink milk in for dd1 and then I'd read her stories.

FWIW I would get a double buggy. Even if you just pick up something 2nd hand and sell it on in a year.

Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 21/06/2011 20:01

Yes Tass, maybe a second hand double is the answer just in case. Once DD sees the baby in the pushchair she might want to go back in it do you think?

Did you tend to use the same clothes for them too?
I dont know yet what sex ours is so if its a girl again I think we pretty much have most of the stuff we need.

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pregnantpause · 21/06/2011 20:03

Its still early days for me but i havw a 29 month gap here. Dd1 loves dd2 and dd2 loves dd1. It's no fairytale, and for me at least the first 6weeks were hellish. But now dd2 is 5 months and we have lovely days together. I have had to lower my housekeeping standards for the time being. If they both want me at once I have to judge who needs me the most. The baby does have to be left to cry sometimes as does the toddler, but i am finding motherhood so much fun now that I have two. Dd2 has brought out the best in dd1, and we are a happier, little more manic, family. For travel I have a pushchair with a buggyboard- its a lifesaver when dd1 gets too tired to walk.

SaltNSauce · 21/06/2011 20:06

I passed clothes on to DD3 form DD2 and still do and now in fact thanks to a massive filing system of boxes of clothes DD3 is starting to wear things DD1 wore 7 years ago.
I used the Phil and Teds for 9 months to a year so agree it's good to go second hand. DD3 was able to use a buggy board after that.

Original poster
Ivortheengine8 · 21/06/2011 20:10

Thankyou pregnant.

I wonder too, when baby came did your dd1 still sleep through if the baby cried at night etc?
DD sleeps all through pretty much every night but I am worried she might start waking up when dc comes. I plan to have dc2 in with me for the first few months and dd can stay in her own room so it shouldn't be too noisy for her.

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tassisssss · 21/06/2011 20:11

Oh yes the clothes are all passed on (and dd2's wardrobe is supplemented by gorgeous hand ons from other friends and family members, she v rarely has anything new). Interestingly now at 3 and almost 5 they wear things differently and things that looked fab on dd1 I'm not so keen on on dd2. My first loves her shorts and tshirts and my second her dresses!

I also have an older boy who's 8 and there's no doubt the 3.5 year gap the first time round was a lot easier but it's lovely having the girls so close in age.