Mums with 2 year age gap

[Ivortheengine8]

It's a bit late to ask this now as I am due with our second in October when our DD will be exactly 2 years old (also born mid October!)
But the realisation has hit.
Am I doomed?
Please convince me that there is a way of getting through it with a 2 year old and a new baby. :)

My dd has always been very active, she walks most places now unless we are going a long way but she doesnt like sitting still for long and prefers being outdoors. 'Shoes' and 'walk' are her favourite words at the moment!
She is quite independant, will go off and do stuff by herself for half an hour or so and is not really clingy.
She has started the tantrums though which I am trying to ignore at the moment and let it pass over. (usually when we are at the shops or she wants to go in somewhere) She obviously feeds herself etc and I don't have to do a huge deal for her. She seems to like seeing babies in town and she now points to them and says 'babu!' She takes her baby annabelle doll around with her too.

But will all this change do you think?
How easy/hard did you find it having this age gap?
Did you regret it in any way not having waited longer?
How about jealousy?

Yes. The only night dd2 has woken dd1 is the night she was born (at home) otherwise dd1 jsut sleeps through it. And dd2 did cry alot at first- she was a difficult newborn, but thankfully it didnt impact dd1s sleep. Although it must be said I had potty trained dd1 prior to dd2s birth- complete waste of time! dd1 has only ever shown jealousy in this regard,she is fine with me bfing dd2 and all other things, but reverted altogether back to nappies. Only now am i trying to train her again.

Perfect gap! Mine are best friends - girl and boy - first few months were hard as I felt guilty about loving my new baby so much and not having as much time for Dd. The book three shoes, one sock and no hairbrush (I think that it the title) was a lifesaver and made me feel normal! You will be fine :)

Ivortheengine - my DD was 28 months when DS arrived and I found the gap just right really.

DD took to him really well and was very helpful as she was at the age where she could fetch things - nappies/wipes/dummy - very handy!

They get on really well now and only have the occasional arguement (normally beebies vs wiggles).

The early days were of course quite tricky - figuring out how to get out of the house etc but it soon gets easier.

I worried a lot about the baby waking DD. He had colic and cried every night from 6-10 and I don't recall her waking up once!

They will be great friends I am sure.

Angry - am secretly hoping for a boy I think :) shhhh! so one of each!

Jumpy, my dd is just starting to do that, she gets her nappy (and scatters all the rest all over the floor in the meantime!) but hopefully by the time little one arrives she will be a perfect little maid!

Thats amazing they didn't wake up. Make me feel better.

Must take ages getting out of the hosue though! takes us about an hour now!

Well, my two are two years and one day (well, a few hours) apart and I never knew that that was supposed to be a "bad" gap.
They're now 12 and 14 and get on fine. Wasn't ever an issue earlier on, either.
You'll be fine!

yes twins get on great - no idea if it is because they are girl/boy! and yes the 7 year old has different interests but is very good with his siblings but prefers them 1 at a time

Life will be much easier in September when I have 3 at school instead of 3 at home

I am twice as fast at everything now! I can decide to go out, get the girls dressed, bag packed and be where i want to be in under an hour. when it was just dd1 it took me ages to get ready. As i said earlier motherhood IMO is brilliant with 2dc, it just all falls into place, and as long as you dont have unrealistic expectations (such as a clean house, baby out of sleepuits during day for first 3 months, you out of pjs for first 6 weeks, etc) then its so so rewarding.

22 months between DD1 and DD2.

I didn't find the first 6 months too bad. The next 6 months were harder but that's because the baby went from being a good sleeper to a shit sleeper.

Baby is sleeping through now and will be one next month. They've just started to play together. They ADORE each other. I can't imagine any age gao is perfect but I wouldn't say 2 years is horrendous at all.

I got a 2nd hand twin maclaren techno off ebay for £100. Used it mostly to walk the dog but I have to say there were some days it saved my sanity (in the early days) when I would just strap them both in, give DD1 a load of snacks and wheel them round the shops for a bit of a break. Stopped using it when DD2 was about 6 months but was worth it for that.

My DD1 stopped napping almost as soon as DD2 was born, and it was still fine, I coped ok, you will be fine!

Sorry, she;ll be one next week, not that it really matters!

Oh I hope DD doesnt stop napping! :( I need my nap too!

So do you feel more like a pro with no 2?
It seems to me a very short time ago I had DD, Its all still fresh in my mind really.

Yeah, you really don't worry as much with the second, and you let the baby find their own way a bit more instead of stressing over every little thing.

By the way, two girls is lush. One of each is overrated IMO

Mine are 2 years and a day apart and I thought that was a great gap - 2 year old is old enough to be doing a lot of things independently but still having naps etc and going to bed at same time so making life easy. My next one was 13 months later which I thought was too small a gap - 13 month old still needing lots done for them plus a baby to care for so stretched all ways. I would say though that my 2 youngest are closest and oldest has always viewed himself as more 'grown up'.

Mine are 10 days short of 2 years apart and I think the gap is working well - tho' they are only 1.3 and 3.3 at the moment.

DS went from watching no television to very quickly having Cbeebies favourites when DD was born. (It helped when I was feeding DD, you understand....) But, other than that, I can't think of much in his day-to-day that changed much. DD spent the first few months in a sling (a moby), which she liked and I liked because I could play with DS - and even change his nappy - relatively easily. My doubles didn't get much use (but at least it wasn't a special purchase; already had a P&T for its off-roading abilities) but that's fine: it's heavy with two children in it!

Main downside from my point of view was two in nappies - but maybe you can avoid that? My DS is potty trained now and it does make a big difference.

Main upside is how well they play together. At times, they laugh and laugh and laugh like they're the only two people in the world. To be sure, there are the usual squabbles and, as tonight, meltdown moments when both are tired to the point of tears and want only Mummy but I really really am not so far regretting the age gap.

Oh, and as far as the baby disturbing the toddler at night goes, my DS, who was a poor sleeper par excellence himself as a baby, has never obviously been woken by his sister crying. Sometimes, when we've asked him the next morning, he's said he heard her (which has discouraged us from trying any form of sleep training on her) but I think, in general, toddlers cope well with baby-related noises at night. They somehow know it's not their problem and just go back to sleep.

28mnths between ds1 and dd, we got a secondhand double buggy which we kept for about 18mnths, useful for when the older one was tired/ keeping picnic and coats in one side/ being able to strap two of them in tightly in airports etc.
Single stroller and buggyboard for nipping out to the park etc though.
First year was really hard work, but until pretty recently (now 10 and 8) they have been utterly inseperable and great company for each other - hope it goes well for you (and that you have a decent washing machine...)

You reckon listen?
I was talking to a few people recently who have said similar!

Thanks Sariska, I bought a mei tei type sling for this one. I had a mothercare one last time but it was too fiddly.

This is all making me feel quite emotional...... sob
I think I always wanted a close family as there are 5 children in ours and although we all got on well together as kids I don't think we were a really close family. I remember us fighting alot though!
I was waiting for you all to tell me what hell it would be and I should get myself geared up for ww3.

Yes, definitely!

By the way, my DP is also a computer programmer and my he and his brother have exactly the same age gap as me and my brother, which is the exact same age gap (to the day) as the one between our DDs!

5 children in my own family. I think DH has about 9 in his (African) family
so we both come from big ones.

Is he Listen? Don't get me started!

I've got slightly more than 2 years between DS1 and DS2 (2 years and just under 4 months to be more precise) and it's pretty good. They're 13 and 11 now and very close still.

I have to say I cried when I found out I was pregnant with DS2, it definitely wasn't planned. I'd thought on a 3 year gap, so DS1 would be in Nursery and I'd get a break. At 18 mths he was very hard work, very clingy and still waking a couple of times a night. I couldn't imagine coping with that and a new born. What I discovered though was that children change so fast at that age. By the time DS2 was born DS1 had started sleeping better, and was a lot more independent. It was so much easier to slot DS2 into things than I ever imagined, and even at that age DS1 loved to 'help' (fetching nappies and toys)

The only thing I think I'd change from that time is that I kind of freaked out over swapping between changing a newborn nappy and then changing what suddenly seemed to be this great hulking 2 year old, and I pushed DS1 into potty training before he was ready. I caused myself so much stress from that, but I learnt my lesson and was a lot more laid back with DS2 and DD

Travel-wise, I borrowed an old double buggy from a friend for a while, mainly for journeys closer to home or for trips where I needed DS1 strapped down or I knew he'd need to sleep (Christmas shopping in a busy shopping centre!) but then we moved onto a buggy with a buggy board (and I put up with bruised ankles...) I mainly travelled by car at the time, but now I'm restricted to PT, if I did it again now I'd consider getting one of those 2 story double buggies (no idea what they're called!) that have the same footprint as a single one.

Congratulations and good luck btw

23 months between my boys. They're best mates now at 4 and 2.

They have their spats but generally they play together really well. They share a room at their request and if they are apart they spend the whole time asking where the other one is!

It's fab

Exactly two years between mine, both born in July, dd is 4 and ds 2 this year. Would agree with pretty much everything already said, really hard for first few weeks thought I would never eat again and had dd waking at 5.30 for first few weeks of ds being at home so knackered as well!

There was never much jealousy from dd and she has been really helpful at times, even being out of nappies when ds was three weeks old, which didn't fill me with joy at the time as thought it would be a disaster but actually went OK! Now they generally play well together and they can enjoy some of the same things. DD generally slept through ds waking as well.

oh yes, I had a P&T for a bit but once Ds1 got going on his mini micro scooter we didn't use it much so I sold it.

I potty trained Ds1 when Ds2 was about 5 months old. It was interesting, yanking Ds2 off my boob so I could sort Ds1 out on the potty, but we got through it!

Thankyou again everyone - so helpful.

Do you bruised ankles from the buggyboards then? I'm pretty clumsy so maybe its not for me?!

Jo what age do those mini scooters start from. My dd always looks longingly after them when the kids scoot past on them!