Mums with 2 year age gap

[Ivortheengine8]

It's a bit late to ask this now as I am due with our second in October when our DD will be exactly 2 years old (also born mid October!)
But the realisation has hit.
Am I doomed?
Please convince me that there is a way of getting through it with a 2 year old and a new baby. :)

My dd has always been very active, she walks most places now unless we are going a long way but she doesnt like sitting still for long and prefers being outdoors. 'Shoes' and 'walk' are her favourite words at the moment!
She is quite independant, will go off and do stuff by herself for half an hour or so and is not really clingy.
She has started the tantrums though which I am trying to ignore at the moment and let it pass over. (usually when we are at the shops or she wants to go in somewhere) She obviously feeds herself etc and I don't have to do a huge deal for her. She seems to like seeing babies in town and she now points to them and says 'babu!' She takes her baby annabelle doll around with her too.

But will all this change do you think?
How easy/hard did you find it having this age gap?
Did you regret it in any way not having waited longer?
How about jealousy?

We had a mamas and papas pliko pramette with DD1 and that's got an in-built toddler step which doesn't result in bruised ankles and has been fab. Bet you can get them cheap on ebay as they aren't that pricey new.

I found I kicked the back of it all the time unless I stood to one side or took really small steps, but I'm tall and my buggy was just that bit too low anyway so that might have been a factor. It's been 10+ years though, hopefully they've improved by now There was a bigger gap between DS2 and DD for various reasons and I never had to use it with him.

Use a tall handled buggy like a maclaren xt with a buggy board then the gap is wider and there is less chance of ankle bruising.

I've got yhe maclaren xt with buggy board, its got quite high handles, I have no trouble. My dh does though, so I think it may be down to height.

I have already got the pram actually which is waiting to be used. It's a Hauck Icoo -
cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190540584938

It does have handles that adjust to height which is good. I'm not sure if this type will take a BB though. I have tried it out with DD1 and I love it.

sorry cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=190540584938

I will still be debating whether to get a 2nd hand buggy though if this doesnt work.

Ivor firstly congrats!

I had just over 2 year gap with my two DDs and whilst there were challenges it was fine.

I did cave and get a double buggy (got a P&T) and it was very useful, you can actually get a P&T on a bus fine. If I got train or tube I would only use it if at places with lifts as weighs a ton and would otherwise take Maclaren and sling. Never bother with a buggy board.

By 3 DD1 was scooting everywhere and we only needed a single buggy, we got her the scooter for her 2nd birthday and it has been invaluable.

I think I would leave the potty traning TBH till after the baby is born, I decided it was too much all at once and you still have loads of time, DD did it on her own at 2.5 in the end and it was fine.

I think the age gap is great, mine are 2 and 4 now and share a room and amuse each other in the mornings and are great company for each other.

Our 4 are all two years apart, some slighty less with 21 month gap. I tended to get broody when they walked...

It was fine, they will play together. I did get a secondhand buggy at one point for a bit, they are great as you can fit more shopping in.

Thanks whoneeds! :) I need to look into the scooter thing too!

Where do you get your secondhand buggies from?

I have 20 months between my 2 DD's. At first it was hard work, but DD2 is now nearly 5 months and things have settled down so much.

I haven't got a double pushchair, DD1 walks every where as she is very independent. I have a bugaboo, which I am able to push one handed and DD1 holds my hand, or more recently the side of the pushchair. We do live in a small, but very hilly town so everything is within a 15 to 20 min walk so she isn't walking too far.

DD2 is EBF and DD1 likes to sit next to me with her dolls "feeding" them too or we read a book. She also likes to just sit at my feet playing with her toys while I feed.

DD1 started potty trainning at 22 months, I just always ask her to have a "try" before I sit down to feed.

The only time I find things difficult at the moment is if DD2 won't settle for a nap and I have to keep going in and out.

The BEST time is 1.00. This last week they have both had a 2 hour nap at the same time!!!!!!!

I do have to say that most of the time DD1 still goes to nursery. I normally work full time and DD1 has carried on going. However, we have 2 months summer holiday in a week and I will have the DD's on my own most of the time as DH is going to do alot of tutoring...we need the money!

Oh, and as we have 2 the same sex we have just recyled all the clothes.

I do have no family support at all as everyone lives 1000's of miles away. I still love it and would have changed nothing at all. I think it is the perfect age gap!

I have 2yr 5 day between my two.
I used a double buggy for about a year, but I don't drive and walk everywhere.

I love the age difference.

DS was not potty trained do didn't bother until he was well and truely ready at 2.9 months. The only difference was having to carry two size nappies around.

My DS doesn't really like change, so it take a while for him to get used to dd and was a bit jealous to start with, but in general they played well together

They are teenagers now and get on really well and have a lot of the same interests.

My only concern now is that I am going to have one doing GCSEs at the same time as the other doing A levels.

dd2 and gecko are 22 months apart

It was hard but fun

they are now 4 and 6 and gecko satrts school in august WOOOHOOOOOOOO

good luck

Double buggy from car boot, but NCT sales or charity shops, freecycle and asking around are other ways to get one.

Mini micro scooters are wonderful. Dd1 got for her 3rd b'day and it was an instant hit. She then went off to nursery and dd2 (at 15 months!) spent the morning mastering it. I'd say they're perfect from about 2.5 but depends a lot on the kids nature, some will master sooner. Totally worth the money, they're light, fast and quiet. We now have 2 and even take them on the plane to France for hols.

I have 21 months between my DS and DD and I find it pretty hellish. DS who is 2.7yrs is constantly trying to hurt DD 10 months. I find it difficult to get anything done as I constantly have to watch them or carry DD around with me. It's just never ending the amount of baby related chores. I awalys seem to be doing nappy changes, cooking for them, cleaning up after meals, entertaining them etc etc . it is very draining and soul destroying. DD is a clingy baby and DS is a demanding toddler. I have to family help as both our families live 5hrs away.

I hate leaving either of them to cry and it really stresses me out. And I feel I am letting down both of them. I don't spend any quality time with either of them. Only at the weekend or evenings when DH is around to help. Goin from one to 2 for me has been very very tough.

Neither of them sleep through either.

There are 21mths between my two girls.

I wont lie and say its all easy cause its not. There are days when Its just crazy!
Each stage has its own challenges.. early days.. DD1 would always want a wee when I started feeding DD2 (she decided she wanted to potty train when DD2 was 2 days old!!) and would choose those times to play up too!
Now at 2.10 and 13mths its challenging as they fight like cat and dog over toys but occupy each other and are always giggling together.

They do adore each other now and cant wait to see each other in the mornings. Like I say can be tricky but wouldnt change it for the world

DD1 was an early walker and completely out of a buggy by the time DD2 arrived. We did get a buggy board for her though which has been great.
We have no family help either and DH has a long commute to London everyday (computer programmer!)

Hi
I have a 20mth gap between DD1 and the DTs. Now aged 4 and 2 1/2 it's, mostly, great. I always wanted a small age gap (though 3 under 2 wasn't ideal!) and wouldn't change it, though it has had its challenges.
The positives:
DD didn't suffer any real jealousy when they were babies
DD still had a nap (this was also a disadvantage, actually, as she needed to sleep at home when the DTs needed to sleep in the buggy)
people are kind to you when you've got little children
they very quickly entertain each other, have similar interests etc
they like the same toys
loads of people have a 2yr age gap or thereabouts so your little ones have access to playmates the same age

The negatives:
logistics really. DD1 quickly walked everywhere and by the time the DTs were too big for one to go in a sling either she had to walk or we had to drive (and I therefore had to tailor outings accordingly). I'd prob go for a sling/buggy then buggy/buggyboard combo with 2 kids with a 2yr age gap, esp in London.
It is difficult to do some of the age-specific stuff they want to do. Eg DD1 currently really into boardgames but playing them with her is just impossible as DS is currently really into wrecking people's games!
Don't get much time to complete messages like this - typing it has induced meltdown!
Also I have a 2yr (exact) age gap between myself and my sister and it's great!

Congratulations

Choceyes you are not alone. I read this thread in the hope that someone might find it as hard as me... I have a 3.3 DS1 who is very demanding and hell-bent on squashing the life out of DS2 who is 1.4 and will tolerate nothing, nor will he be peeled from the side of my body. I am exhausted and utterly depressed at going from constantly telling off DS1 to trying to pacify DS2 who cries like he is being murdered if you so much as shift him from one hip to the other. Housework gets done with one hand, or when they are in bed. I have alot of support from family and friends which is brilliant, but has made me feel more alienated from DS1 as he is the one 'taken away' by grandparents etc as he is just gorgeous on his own, and the little one just wants me. I have found it very hard, but there are many moments of loveliness, they just don't last very long! It's just personalities and dynamics I think, rather than age gaps.

mine are 23 months apart. they are now nearly 5 and nearly 7.

I found it tough in the early days, I went back to work when DS2 was 15 months old, as work seemed easier! (and it was, could go to the loo on my own, drink a whole hot cup of tea etc )

Looking back on it though, we did have some wonderful bonding time and I wish I had been a bit more resilient.

Now they are both at school and have 1 school year between them. DS1 is the oldest in his class, and while that means DS2 is the youngests he is very forward and it helps that his big bro is there to tell him what's what.

They are great fun; they fight alot but nothing malicious; they like the same things, the same tv progs, the same toys, and play together very well. I wouldn't change it, apart from I am quite broody now and there is no way DH will ever go back to the baby stage...so Eve will never happen.

Thanks again evryone, sorry been busy most of the day, finally put DD to bed!
Choceyes and sparrow, sorry you are having a hard time :(

I wonder if there is any difference in whether the older one is a girl or boy?
I guess it is always hard to predict how they are going to react.
I think maybe I am a bit of a mean mummy in that I will do the chores and DD has to put up with it while I am busy and I do sometimes leave her to grizzle or find things to entertain herself for a little while. Having said that I take her out every day for a good walk and try and spend time doing what she wants (which usually involves being outside) She gets frustrated being indoors.

Mine at 5 and (nearly) 3. I managed!! Had ds a month after dd was 2. we had to waqtch her with him at first... but I am very glad I had them with this gap; they play together and are hilarious to watch, they cheer each other on and get up to mischief together.

Goddess, there is no way my DH will have another either. He is adament he will stop at 2 :( I would have liked three I think. It was hard enough trying to convince him that it would be nice for DD to have one sibling!

Hi, DD1 and DD2 are 2 years and 6 weeks apart. They generally play well together now (4yrs and 2 yrs). The main problem was DD1 freaking out when DD2 cried all night every night for the first six weeks. After that it all settled down.
I used a Phil & Ted and also a baby bjorn carrier and pushchair combo.