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Parenting

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Original poster

I chose to have my children because....

73 replies

Miaou · 11/10/2005 11:09

I'm sure this isn't the worst reason in the world but I was quite shocked by this! Years ago I had a boss who told me she only had kids because she was bored of working and her husband wouldn't let her work part time. At the time I knew her her children were 7 and 5 and she readily admitted that she wished she had never had them as they cramped her style! She wasn't a bad mum, I don't think, just a reluctant one.

Dh and I (in common with many people I guess) spent two years deciding whether or not we were ready to start a family - it's such a big decision!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

kate100 · 11/10/2005 15:46

I'd always wanted to have children, but didn't know when. Then 6 months after DH and I got married my AF was late and I was devastated when it did arrive and I realised I wasn't pregnant. Stopped taking the pill immediately, ds1 born 9 months later. I've always had a very strong nurturing instinct and couln't imagine a ife with out children.

LadyTophamHatt · 11/10/2005 16:04

I had that all consuming feeling of desperation. I needed for baby.

Dh was away training for a new job mon-fri and on his first weekend home I said "I've decided we're going to have a baby", we had an almighty row, as you would imagine.
2 weeks later we discovered I was PG. I fell pg on the saturday of the weekend we argued

highlander · 12/10/2005 12:50

JuliaandJohn - I have a fridge magnet that says, "I had a brain once. Now I have small children"

I'm convinced they chuck your brain in clinical waste alongside the placenta

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woosmummy · 12/10/2005 19:20

I choose to have a baby because.... i was 24wks pregnant when i found out and thats all you can do... had real hard time, eberytime something goes wrong I feel its my fault, and if things had been different (ie not drunk!) then I wouldn't be sat with a crying baby and about to loose my right nipple to gangreene!

staceym11 · 12/10/2005 20:16

oh woosmummy i hope it gets better for you, its always hard when things happen like that.

vickiyumyum · 12/10/2005 20:21

because i was too silly to take my pill properly and thought oh it'll never happen to me. it did, luckily dh wanted kids and was happy, took me a bit longer to be happy, but was happy quite quickly once got over the intial shock.

Tortington · 12/10/2005 21:25

i didnt chose to have any

Mum2girls · 12/10/2005 21:27

Custy, I recall your post about how you came to have your kids and thought it was the most poignantly funny post I've read on mn.

albosmum · 12/10/2005 21:37

I chose to have ds1 because could not face alternatives and it was the right decision.
DS2 was chosen because of biology had a desperate need to reproduce!

crazydazy · 12/10/2005 21:39

DD - I had one too many vodka and red bulls!!!

DS - because the GP who fitted my coil obviously didn't know what she was doing.

Wouldn't be without em though!!!

WigWamBam · 12/10/2005 21:41

I had dd because the Pill failed, and I couldn't abort someone that dh and I had created (albeit accidentally) through love [insert puke emoticon if you want to].

I had never wanted children, didn't think I would be a good mother, didn't think I had room in my life or in my heart for a child. Needless to say I was wrong, I knew bugger all, and I would do anything for my dd.

I still don't want children though, and there won't be any more!

swedishmum · 12/10/2005 21:44

Red wine seems to have figured each time - at 41 and after 4 you'd think I'd have learnt a lesson...

rummum · 12/10/2005 21:47

when we decided to try for our first I said " now don't get to excited, it could takes years to get pregnant" fell first time and we were so shocked... I miscarried, and we realised how much we wanted a baby, and luckily I fell pregnant the following month...

JuliaAndJohn... I joke that I gave birth to part of my brain I can honestly say I haven't been the same since..

bobbybob · 13/10/2005 07:44

WigWamBam - I feel the same that ds will be an only - even though he was planned and is very liked and loved.

I just don't have that urge any more, and I'm quite happy as I am.

edam · 13/10/2005 08:03

Because we needed an heir to inherit the title, the estate, the Swiss bank account.

I wish

Because I was curious - wanted to find out who our child would be. And wanted to add to our wider family. And I wanted a baby!

ghosty · 13/10/2005 08:37

DS - because I had one too many and forgot to take precautions
Didn't really want anymore but DH did and I thought DS needed a sibling ... got pregnant, wasn't too happy about it and then had a wake up call when I miscarried that baby ...
So after that was desperate for another baby and thankfully DD came along

buffytheharpsichordcarrier · 13/10/2005 09:21

I have always liked children and spent time with them and looked after them from a young age - auntie to 12 of them. so I always hoped that one day I would have them myself. but the reason we kept putting it off "for another year" and I didn't start trying for a baby until I was in my 30s was having seen the day to day reality of looking after babies/children, I was under no illusions. I went in with my eyes open... but of course soon realised that I had no clue really what it was actually like - that being a parent was much worse and of course much better than I could have imagined.

Jayzmummy · 13/10/2005 09:36

Ive always had this vision in my head that I would be a Mum. Being told at 21 that I would have to have a hystorectomy was shattering. I threw myself into my career and pushed any thoughts of having children as far back into my mind as I could.
No matter how hard I tried to ignore my feelings I couldnt. I needed to be a Mum. DH and I decided to adopt and eventually our DS's came into our lives. They are aged 11 and 9 now and out of the blue DH has started to make rumblings that he would quite like to have a little DD
We are currently at the "thinking" and "discussing" stage and have contacted SS....so maybe....just maybe...we will be having an addition to the family

edam · 13/10/2005 09:44

Jayzmummy, that's a lovely post. You really did choose to have children, more than any of us.

My mother was adopted and had an idyllic childhood and fantastic parents. Bet your kids will too.

ghosty · 13/10/2005 09:56

Jayzmummy ... what a fantastic post ... it must have been hard to go through that so young ... like edam said, you really did choose to have children ...
I really really hope you have another lo ...

staceym11 · 13/10/2005 11:27

jayzmummy, would just like to say hats off to you, even though i can have children i would also like to adopt one day, as i know there are so many children out there that need love. good luck to you and your dear ds's (that sounds odd!)

cathyspam · 27/10/2005 13:34

I always wanted to have kids but expected to wait until everything in my life was 'ideal' before having them. However, my mum died of cancer when I was 22 (she was only 43). It made me re-evaluate everything and I realised that what I most wanted out of life was children - luckily my partner was of the same mind and I now have two beautiful sons who I fall in love with over again every day and I only hope that my mum can see them from wherever she is. Make the most out of life because it is not always as long as it should be.

xxx

motheroftwoboys · 27/10/2005 15:17

I never wanted children with first husband or with bloke I lived with after him (and very nearly married). Then I met my DH who I adore and cannot imagine life without. I remember him telling me we would have beautiful babies (sick-making I know). It just seemed to make sense. Anyway, walked out on bloke 5 days before wedding, went to live with DH, got married in the December had DS1 early October and DS2 21 months later. I started at 34 so had to get a move on. Love them both to bits although going through teenage angst. Would probably have had another if had started a bit sooner. p.s. they were (and still are) beautiful. Very dark eyes and hair and killer lashes!

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