Do you ever lose your patience with your toddler

[billiejo]

Hiya,
I'm feeling like a bad mum and just need to offload really. my ds is 21mnths and whilst on hand he is TOTALLY adorable and sweet natured and funny....boy oh boy is he strong willed and downright bloody whingey. He's extremely impatient, when he wants something he wants it yesterday or there's a huge meltdown, he's also a really fussy eater which means that i spend a lot of time and energy making lovely meals which then get spat out or completely ignored. some days i can cope ok with him and others i just lose it and shout at him, like today, he was in a very clingy mood which he tends to be quite often meaning if i'm not sat with him and dare to stand up and go into the kitchen he has a major crying fit holding on to my trousers as i stumble towards the kitchen. the thing was , i was heading for the kitchen to make his supper because he'd point blank refused lunch and was now getting angsty because he was hungry. i lost it and shouted at him to "just shut up" ....he's a sensitive little soul and his little bottom lip came out and he started sobbing and cuddling me.....god i felt awful and the worst thing is it's the second time i've shouted this week, why can't i have more patience, i look at other mums and when their kids are doing similar they jut shrug and say things like " ooh they're a bit whingey today" and laugh it off. I feel absolutely crap.

Join the hypocrites club right here! Roll up! Roll up!

My dh is about to come back from 6 months in Iraq and he said in an email the other day "I know it's been busy for you on your own..." I'm bloody tempted to go away for a week to leave him on his own with two toddlers to see whether he'd still describe life as "busy"!

I have been impatient and cross several times tonight. So shoot me!

I was knackered after work, stressful day full of deadlines, horrid commute, picked ds up at nursery where he ran away to play in the playground - had to chase him around it three times before I could coax him out. Then everything at home was a battle or slow from pouring his milk to getting him in the bath, getting him out of the bath, toothbrushing.. oh, I could go on all night.

But bless him, he started singing Frere Jacques with all the words - I've only sung it to him twice and he's only two! So we finished on a high note, literally, with a singing session.

bloody hell satanic, that really is medal-deserving. i'd go stir crazy if i didn't think i'd get a tiny bit of time to myself at the weekend. ........onto the guilt thing, am now thinking "see poor satanic manages all on her own, how crap must i be....i feel so guilty for complaining"!!!!!

They are particularly gorgeous when they are asleep and you have a glass of wine in your hand, I find
Both ds and dd have been pretty much perfect today (apart from dd's horrid lack of daytime sleep) but I'm so knackered.

I have had a hell of a time with DS tonight (18mths)...for some reason he wants to drink his bath water and won't stop, then he wouldn't get out of the bath (or stand so I could lift him out) then he wouldn't have his nappy on.....I was close to losing it completely as DH is away and will be until Friday and I am exhausted, but DS is now sound asleep (hopefully will be until morning this time!) and I am relaxing....

Blimey, please don't feel inadequate because of me - I have a fantastic support network of mums in the village where I live who help out all the time and also I have hardly been working much over the summer to try to reduce stress levels, so in some ways life has been quite laid back. But I know I have been far angrier with the kids since dh went, which I feel just dreadful about. I hate the thought that my ds (3) is worried about making me cross in case I shout at him. And I'm blessed with two really good children - gawd alone knows what would have happened otherwise! However I expect my neighbour is keeping a log of shouting which she will soon present to Social Services .

that's how i feel satanic, will my ds be scared of making me cross. if my dh ever tells him off, it's like water of a ducks... whereas , i , on the other hand make him cry

I know. And some days I can take anything in my stride, whereas on others even small things make me see red. And I completely agree about feeling just awful if I hear another mum shouting at her kids. I wish I could have some of that compassion and protectiveness for my own two sometimes. But if we're all like this, maybe it is normal....

All my DD has said all day is "sorry mummy, sorry mummy". I feel dreadful. Since my DP finally came home tonight she has been waking up screaming or not even actually awake cos she is having nightmares and im pretty sure its over me and how ive been screaming at her today. I actually did the taboo thing today as well.

yesterday i lost my patience with ds (15.5 months). he was whingey all afternoon and wanted to be held, cried when i didnt hold him, cried when i didnt pay enough attention to him.

i lost my temper and told him to leave me alone.
and immediately he started to cry. i think i frightened him. i grew up being shouted at constantly. for everything. i need to control my own stress levels and learn to blow things off more. as mothers, i think we make ourselves feel more guilty than anything, when it comes down to it, if we love our children, clothe, protect, do not abuse them,etc..etc, we are doing a good job.

and we all need to hear that from time to time. especially on the sh*t days.
how is everyone coping this week?

this thread is just what I have been looking for today. had difficult two days with ds who is 4.Dh away overnight-ds totally mad-seemed to have no control over himself-defiant not listening just pushing all my buttons (have 1 year old dd-who gets much rough and tumble whether she likes it or not when ds is in this mood!)I see red and end up yelling at him which just makes him worse! when I calmed down-felt terrible that I seem to be shouting at him all of the time! Have a far easier relationship with dd as my expectations of her are so much more realistic! Sometimes I have to remind myself that ds is only 4! I am such a bad tempered mare!

I would think the question should be do you ever NOT.

Lost count of the number of times I've lost patience.

Could cheerfully and gladly give the DTs away today.

I have just stopped shaking after a horrific horrendous trying and stressful morning out at the local farm with my ds (2).
He just rampaged around the cafe, screaming and shouting.
He rampaged around the walk way because he wanted to go on the slide and i was taking him to pet the llamas and see the ducks in the pond.
When we got home he continued on and on and on.
I kept telling myself..be calm, deep breaths, distract him, talk to him, be calm calm,calm,calm.
I felt like my head was going to explode and my stomach was in nots, my mouth was dry and i was shaking with it all.
He ran off into the living room screaming blue murder.
I followed him and stuck a bottle of warm milk in his mouth and.......silence.....

I dont know how i didnt smack him, i was THAT close to it at the farm. I just wanted him to stop and be quiet and reasonable neither of us knew what to do with ourselves we were both so far gone.

I tend to laugh it off or ignore her tantrums. But then again, I had to live w/my mother for 18 years. That was the ultimate lesson in patience .

Oh a bottle - why didn't I think of that??????????

Brb - off to heat some milk

Go on flamy shove it in! Shove that full to the brim bottle of warm milk in there, have several more lined up.........

Thought I should come back and explain myself...

DD is poorly with a cold, doesn't want me to cuddle her or anything, is exhausted but won't sleep, asked to go in the car but still didn't sleep... and has just demanded "mouse" video for the 10th time today.

I snapped, yelled at her that she could have mouse but it was the last bloody time, and that she had to lie down. She yelled "OK!" at me with all the attitude of a 16 year old (she's 2), and sulked down into a blanket.

Given her a bottle now and she seems happier.

medised, medised, medised...good for colds, good for sleepy toddlers who wont sleep, good for mums who need just half an hour to get stuff done....goog stuff all round!

She's already dosed up

OH BUGGER!
Thats a blow, so whats your next move?
Whens next dose due?

Bottles = fab

Don't listen to the HV, toddlers love them and will shut up for ages.

Just looked at the time and realised its later than I thought - given her her next dose, and she's just starting in on her second bottle (she refused lunch so is probably hungry).

Oooh - we have rolling eyes!!!

Thankfully, both ds's are well past the toddler stage (7 and 4.5) but used to lose patience on a daily basis with them. Don't have a lot of patience anyway, am a bit of a control freak and toddlers were really the first thing i had come acros in life which didn't respond to any kind of logic. Hated that whole stage actually - still look at other mothers in teh shopping centre with kids at that stage and think "thank God, never again!"