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Original poster

Daughter wearing trousers to a wedding

72 replies

Julia3000 · 22/12/2010 19:18

My 8 year old daughter wants to wear trousers to my sisters wedding. She turned down being a bridesmaid as she didn't want to wear a bridesmaid's dress and my sister was adamanent that the bridesmaids would match. She does wear skirts sometimes but they tend not to be "girly", like short denim skirts for example. I really think she should wear a skirt or dress- it doesn't have to be that feminine. What do you think?

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NormalityBites · 22/12/2010 19:19

Of course she can wear trousers if she wants to. Why on earth should she not? [confused}

NormalityBites · 22/12/2010 19:20
Confused
ragged · 22/12/2010 19:20

Smart trousers with smart top. What is the problem?
Why does a little girl need to look feminine?

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bobs · 22/12/2010 19:20

I think if they are leggings/jeggings with a nice long top that would be acceptable...bit of jewellry?

ValiumShimmer · 22/12/2010 19:22

I'd try and get really nice trousers and not make a massive big deal out of it... easy for me to type i KNOW. my 8 year old is so willful, you can't talk her into anything.

is there something she really wants? could you say, if you wear a dress we'll paint your room (or whatever)

Is she self-conscious about her looks. Kids under so much pressure today. If she doesn't feel like a girly girl she mightn't want to line up in the same dress with some girly girls, inviting comparison. Even though she might not be able to articulate her reservation.

FrostyAndSlippery · 22/12/2010 19:23

My DH's twin DDs were my bridesmaids when they were 10. One of them wore a red dress. The other HATES anything girly and she wore black trousers and fitted waistcoat with a blue fitted shirt.
They both looked stunning :)

Guitargirl · 22/12/2010 19:23

Is this a wind-up!?!

funkingcart · 22/12/2010 19:23

I have a DD1 who is exactly the same.

Can she not wear a skirt with leggings?

I feel your pain - two older DS's and I wanted a girly girl all pink frills.

She is the biggest tomboy in the country.

When my XH's father died, his Mrs Bucket Aunt was quizzing her the night before the funeral what she would be wearing.

She said my black trousers, blouse and black jacket.

MrsBAunt said "Oh no but you have to wear trousers"

DD said "Why"

MrsBAunt "Those are the rules"

DD "Whose rules? Yours? Or God's? Coz I don't thing God will care. All he will care is that I loved my Grandpa and I'm going to be there for him"

I was very proud of her Grin

Original poster
Julia3000 · 22/12/2010 19:23

To be honest- I think she's mainly doing it to wind up her brother who is a pageboy- and is weraing a kilt. I think she thinks it'd be funny if she was wearing trousers when he was wearing a "skirt".

OP posts:
ValiumShimmer · 22/12/2010 19:23

ps, so long as your sister knows that you're not 'dissing her wedding' lol. You know from the threads on here how crazy brides can be. Does your sister know your daughter well enough to know that she's just being herself and choosing her own style and it's not a 'snub'?!

peppapighastakenovermylife · 22/12/2010 19:24

Why on earth does this matter as long as she is smart Confused

FrostyAndSlippery · 22/12/2010 19:25

BTW a few people were surprised I was so relaxed about their clothes, but I just wanted them to be happy and comfortable.

And your DD isn't even a bridesmaid, she's not 'on display' let her wear whatever she wants as long as it's smart!

AliceWorld · 22/12/2010 19:25

I don't understand why she can't wear trousers Confused

NormalityBites · 22/12/2010 19:25

A girl wearing a dress is not a 'girly girl' and a girl wearing trousers is not a tomboy.

They are both CHILDREN wearing CLOTHES. If they are lucky they get to choose them. If they are not, they don't, and may feel uncomfortable or hindered.

If she wanted to go naked I could (perhaps) see a problem.

ValiumShimmer · 22/12/2010 19:28

achhh, I can understand the pressure, and the feeling that all the other parents will be standing around noticing that Julia's dd is in trousers. Even if OP doesn't care what her dd wears 364 days of the year, extra pressure at a family wedding!! so MANY ways to upset people without meaning to.

But OP, tell your dd she can choose her own outfit, but you want HER to choose a special outfit. Trust her judgment. My own 8 year old is long past the days of being told what to wear. Sadly. She is the other extreme, and looks like gwen stefani/helena bonham carter. I'm always trying to tone down her mismatched combos!! But it's not worth the big battles! save them for homework and so on.

funkingcart · 22/12/2010 19:30

My foolish brother told DD1 she could wear whatever she wanted to his wedding.

Was all we could do to get her not to go in her jodphurs

Xmas Grin

You know she'll look fab regardless of what she wears?

And as my Unk would have said

Them that matter won't mind
And them that mind won't matter

Original poster
Julia3000 · 22/12/2010 19:33

I think she's a bit jealous that her brother is still a pageboy when she decided not to be a bridesmade. As I said, I think she's doing it more to wind up her brother who will be wearing a kilt. I've suggested a tunic over leggings but she wants proper trousers. I must admit- I do want her too look nice as well.

OP posts:
ValiumShimmer · 22/12/2010 19:33

My dd must have been swapped with Helena Bonham carter's baby at birth. She's just come in to me in a summer dress with woolly tights under it and told me she's wearing this outfit to bed.

Sorry Helena!

funkingcart · 22/12/2010 19:35

Do you know what your sis's colours are?

Wondering if you could hire a waistcoat in a similar colour?

Are all the blokes in kilts?

If so, could you bastardize the traditional scottish style and get her a pair of white floaty kicky-flare trousers, with a white top and a sash across the body in the same tartan as the kilts?

(Should traditionally be a white dress but you could adapt?)

TurkeyMartini · 22/12/2010 19:38

Why on earth would other people be remarking upon it? I'm not trying to be Extra Liberal or disingenuous -- I can see from other posts it is an issue for some people but I truly am surprised by this and don't get it. I honestly wouldn't have expected anyone, anyone at all, to notice, let alone think anything of it.

Do people in general honestly think a small girl dressed smartly in trousers at a smart event is odd or wrong? That is really, really fucked up and depressing.

If so, surely they are people you should completely ignore anyway because they're from 1952?

Honestly, this is super-weird.

Original poster
Julia3000 · 22/12/2010 19:38

Possiblly only the groom and my son will probably be. Maybe one or two others.

OP posts:
TurkeyMartini · 22/12/2010 19:41

"I do want her to look nice as well"

Have I missed something, that trousers on a girl don't look "nice"?

God -- cringe cringe cringe at this entire thread :(

(I do put my own baby DD in dresses often btw, but also in trousers, and I don't think one is "nicer" Xmas Hmm -- certainly when she starts to have a preference I would HATE her to feel trousers were frowned upon)

Original poster
Julia3000 · 22/12/2010 19:41

I'm think deep down, I'm more worried about her doing it to wind up her brother, really.
Usually, I don't care that she hardly ever wears a skirt.

OP posts:
funkingcart · 22/12/2010 19:41

TM - the ex's Auntie was Scandalized that DD1 didn't wear a skirt to the funeral. And I really really mean Scandalized.

She has chittered about it off and on ever since.

Apparently DD1 takes after her mother Hmm

peppapighastakenovermylife · 22/12/2010 20:01

'the feeling that all the other parents will be standing around noticing that Julia's dd is in trousers'

Shock Who thinks like this?!?