How much do you 'ignore' your children?

[Gameboy]

Have just been out with two families - friends of ours- who have kids about the same age, and I have to confess, I am amzed by the extent to which they actively 'ignore' their children trhoughout the whole afternoon.

By this I mean they seem to 'zone out' from all the various requests/ questions/ constant 'to-ing and fro-ing' that seems typical of under- 6s??

As a result they actively seem to enjoy themselves more, manage to have 'adult' conversations (which I gave up years ago )and it seems that their kids eventually give up and go and sort out themselves whatever it is they want....( which seems like a good thing I suppose)

I can't decide whether I'm just a mug with my kids and let them dominate my life too much... but I simply CAN'T ignore them - it seems really rude and uncaring somehow??

sorry, it wasn't meant to sound condescending.

Actually, I must say that I found Lavender's opinions to be more logical, though I must admit that I didn't read all her threads.

That's a shame NN

I can admire someone for their philosophy (evidence based or not)without espousing it myself and in fact while arguing against it

but sometimes you don't have a reason for doing something you just do it necause it feels right to you at the time

you can be confident in your parenting skills without having to find justification ..your child is your justification

Weesaidie - It sometimes appears that people are a bit over eager to find a troll and discredit posters.

So what, she didn't walk away! I wouldn't have either..... but I wouldn't have been so calm and polite! Who are we to decided what she should or shouldn't do if she has been upset on MN. She didn't lose the plot, she didn't call people names and she didn't flounce!

I think she should win an award for the Calmest MN'er in face of a gang-up!

I'd have thrown my (work) PC out the window!

Lavender would have flounced and returned twice by now.

Ah but zippi - that's a philosophy!

Caligula it's not got any research base that i can bring to the discussion

it's an unsubstantiated opinion

cogently argued and everything nightynight but:

trying again, this time with a bolster

I understand what you mean Toothache. I also notice that a large number of lovely people (such as urself!) have stood up for her so she has not been totally alone.

If she wants to hang around and take all the flack then that is fine. I just wouldn't have bothered, I really hate arguments and try not to get involved, which is why even now I don't know why I am posting!

Now I have made my point I shall try to exit gracefully.

(know what you mean EricBlack! )

Sorry but this takes the biscuit:

Nightynight
"Most mumsnetters justify unusual opinions, and win converts, by quoting from scientific studies, or articles that they read in the press, or a religious text, or their 15 years experience of working with elderly people. Not just their own opinion."

Well I'll bear that in mind next time I just fancy a casual discussion about something!! I can't even find the words to type what I think about that statement..... I'm off to carefully consider it!

.... unbelievable!

Context, toothache, context

win converts!!!
I read the whole post caligula.

Toothache that is was that which made my jaw hit the floor hence my thread but no one is quoting anything

on it

just there own philosophy/opinion

ooops !!!

she means make people change their minds Toothache.

I know what she means Jimjams. Why are people assuming I'm not able to interpret posts? If this is how I see them.... then this could be how MANY Mn'ers are seeing them!

Do most MN'ers really have to base there statements on scientific research, 15yrs experience etc etc????? Welll f*ck me.... I thought we all could have an opinion that we DIDN'T have to write a thesis on! In my 2.5 yrs on MN I've clearly got that wrong..... yet I seem to have managed along fine. Don't know about "winning converts" though.

1417 messages and counting. It's always people's opinions and they/we, if we can be arsed, find something to back it up. I hate arguing now that I am old. It's all so serious.

toothache,

this was just a concise way of saying persuade people that one's own point of view is reasonable. No religious or political overtones.

I agree, it is not relevant to most mumsnet threads. But where someone comes and repeatedly drops controversial opinions into the discussion, then the discussion does tend to get polarised and different opinions become relevant.

It never ceases to amaze me how differently people can interpret things on mumsnet.

toothache the things that people bring to back up their opinions were just examples! Nobody is saying that you can't post without 15 years experience!

Ericblack - Don't argue then! As you can see I am trawling through this thread to find "back-up" as people seem to be SO obsessed about!

But it's taking ages.... and I've got a meeting now.... back later. Look forward to reading all the condescending messages when I return. NOT.

No toothache- but if you say something a bit unlikely (eg "The RBS save 3 places each year for children from my son's school") and people query it then if you back it up wtih evidence then people are more likely to believe you. A lot of the repeated questioning (and I agree Vaunda did come in for a lot of it) was to do with those sorts of comments. I don'tthink that much was said about her methods of childrearing- other than from people who have had similar experiences.

I've been at the receiving end of going against the grain with vaccinations. I think most people on here now understand why I don't vaccinate, although that's not their choice. But I didn't get to that by just saying "well that;s what I'm doing".

No way would I have stuck it out as long as Vaunda- I wouldn't be on here now. So I don't dispute she remained very calm. I think Weesaidie has summed it all up very well.

OK.

I wondered why the Royal Bank of Scotland had kids places and felt that Karl might not fit in if fortunate enough to get one of them.

Nightynight

I am ignoring the fact that ds has a calendar of "pin up" girls on his bedroom wall although I don't like it

it's my opinion that i'm best not making an issue of it (or i'm too lazy)

but if someone posted a thread on that topic with should i do anything

and i replied oh my ds has one too I suggest ignoring it like i do I wouldn't have any evidence or justification for that advice

on the other hand i might be in the mood for a humdinger debate about porn/female exploitation etc and do a load of on the spot research to back up any views i suddenly found myself holding

the research would have come after my opinion not before