How much do you 'ignore' your children?

[Gameboy]

Have just been out with two families - friends of ours- who have kids about the same age, and I have to confess, I am amzed by the extent to which they actively 'ignore' their children trhoughout the whole afternoon.

By this I mean they seem to 'zone out' from all the various requests/ questions/ constant 'to-ing and fro-ing' that seems typical of under- 6s??

As a result they actively seem to enjoy themselves more, manage to have 'adult' conversations (which I gave up years ago )and it seems that their kids eventually give up and go and sort out themselves whatever it is they want....( which seems like a good thing I suppose)

I can't decide whether I'm just a mug with my kids and let them dominate my life too much... but I simply CAN'T ignore them - it seems really rude and uncaring somehow??

Monkey yes he bought her alcohol (well she said he had bought it, i wonder if it was so she could keep up the pretence of never having any money)obviously not for her son

Aaah, the social services

No for your son! Surely he's a wine tasting expert as well?

She has some serious problems then this woman? Was she getting any help?

I have to say you are amazingly calm in the face of such disbelief in your story. At time you seem to get angry but on the whole you are very composed.

As a matter of interest what do you do for a living. Just nosy, trying to get a mental picture of you.

Caligula, would you not be concerned for a child whose mother was more interested in a man than him/her? I was and still am. The social services offered her parenting classes (it went deeper than just her going out ok) and she declined them... when she left my home they contacted her again at my address and i told thenm she was no longer here. what has happened since is beyond me.

Whiel I might personally think that the use of word "whore" is excessive, I think trying to get at Vaunda for having used it is a bit much. It is often used to describe women of questionable morals - which is how Vaunda seems to see her cousin. In her view, then, an acceptable use of the word.

This seems to have become a "let's pillory someone for having views I don't agree with, or whose life seems a bit too unusual to be true" thread. It's gone a long way from the orginal question that was asked - and for whcih vaunda gave a respnse based on her experience.

Whatver my personal opinions on whether or not her son "needs" to be socialised more, or to retain more childish innoncence by being protected from the harsh facts of life, it is not my place to say so. Vaunda is comfortable with the way she is bringing up her child, is proud of her son, and is not asking for advice.

On a different thread, mumsnetters are merrily supporting toothache in her objection to her firned "judging" her about using a dummy. Aren't some people here guilty of "judging" Vaunda?

Where is the evidence of the Mumsent philosophy of "The idea of mumsnet is that by pooling knowledge and experience, parents make the job of parenting easier. Please bear in mind that issues to do with raising children can be very sensitive and that everyone has the right to make their own choices when it comes to bringing up their kids. This is a discussion forum and we ask you to respect other people's right to their opinions, even if you disagree with them................ Please bear in mind that we all know how difficult this parenting business can be, and if there's one thing all of us could do with, it's some moral support."??

Caligula, he actually prefers to drink somerfields clearly cordial thanks....but only if it is the peach and orange one.

Yes I would be, but I stopped taking you seriously a few hundred posts back. Sorry.

wotcha

Monkey she refused all help. the only help she would partially accept was our help with looking after her son. Yes she had some serious problems and some not so serious ...... all of which could have been dealt with if she just kearnt to accept help and relax a bit but most of all learnt to stop being embarrassed by her sons autism. She would make the poor boy do a 45 minute walk to school because he mimced the noises of the buses.

A 24 inch TV fell on his head? From the floor??

But Vaunda are you ignoring your son while you are having sex every night and morning

Caligula then don't pose questions if you don't take it seriously... for me a childs well being is serious. shame on you if it isn't the same for you.

er hello

That would be fair Prettybird, if Vaunda's tone wasn't pretty judgemental herself

Yay! The mumsnet philosophy

Soup no from on top of his chest of drawers....

Cam he is asleep..... you know in his own bed sleeping soundly.

Well said Prettybird !

Right girls- whos up for ringing the school then to find out about these roving auditions and guaranteed places?

I am only judgemental towards my cousin. Have not judged anyone on here, I have stayed calm and pleasent throughtout all the nasty and rude comments which i have endured.

i dont understand this thread at all. i dont understand the hostility and pedantry

i dont understand why vaunda is posting in reply.

i dont understand how she has kept so cool

i do understand what most of you are thinking she is.

i dont understand how you got to that point.

it seems another case of mnet hysteria to me.