How much do you 'ignore' your children?

[Gameboy]

Have just been out with two families - friends of ours- who have kids about the same age, and I have to confess, I am amzed by the extent to which they actively 'ignore' their children trhoughout the whole afternoon.

By this I mean they seem to 'zone out' from all the various requests/ questions/ constant 'to-ing and fro-ing' that seems typical of under- 6s??

As a result they actively seem to enjoy themselves more, manage to have 'adult' conversations (which I gave up years ago )and it seems that their kids eventually give up and go and sort out themselves whatever it is they want....( which seems like a good thing I suppose)

I can't decide whether I'm just a mug with my kids and let them dominate my life too much... but I simply CAN'T ignore them - it seems really rude and uncaring somehow??

Vaunda - do you mind me asking - what is your nationality? I too am amazed by the turn this (innocent!) thread has taken...
I don't really have time to get drawn into all the debate right now, but I DO think that it is as much your style of written communication which has raised people's suspicions about the content of what you say..?

Would i be right in thinking that English is not your 'first' language?

Vaunda, just a question, dont get offended.
does your boy pick his friends because they are disabled or he just happens to have mostly disabled friends, because i could see that that could be considered as patronising if its just because he wants to help them with their disability.

oh and jsut wanted to say jesus at the talking coherantly by 10 months! my dd is 10 months (and quite advanced) and says mummy, dada (or DAD! in a shouted voice) hello, hey, and woof for dog (dont know where she got that from! but thats it! lol

I must have misread your messages of 11.08 last night and 9.57 this morning then. We don't call my son mental.

Gameboy you would be greatly mistaken. I am english

we call him lots of things- but not mental.

OK - sorry - but it wasn't an accusation - just a question...

Stacey,
he picks his friends as he likes to be with them. Maybe it is because he likes to help them as well as play with them as he does do both. I simply said he does have more disabled friends than non disabled but at the end of it all it is HIS choice not mine.

jim jams when was your son diagnosed and what with (im a nosy person, tell me to Mind My own buisness if you want!)

I dont think that Vaunda is Lav but I will say that I think you are a very self obsessed person who feels that every remark and comment made relates to you and yours rather than being a general comment on thread or a reply to the o.p. which I think is why this thread is so long and so interesting.

whoamitosay... to sell....

but picking friends because you like to help them? i dont know it just seems he tries to take a senior role above those he chooses as friends, so that he helps and they are helped, and not the other way round, whereas it shoudl be give and take both ways shouldnt it?

Tarantula. I am far from self obsessed but if someone questions me I will reply as I was brought up to know that ignorance is rude. However if other posters don't see this that is their lookout not mine.

Vaunda you said at 11.08 last night "Jimjams,
If you say so. Still as a parents in my sons school i think i would know more about it than you surely.
Disabilites can come in many forms physical, educational, mental...... just because someone doesn't look disabled doesn't mean they aren't does it."

If you read through the thread you will see that I replied that he is severely (non-verbal) autistic.

oh whoops worry staceym!!! misread- thought vaunda had posted that quesation/

He picks his friends by the people HE likes to spend time with. At least he is not picking the bullies, and yobs. and trust me there are a few of them in schools as we all know. In fact a posters relative is quite a spiteful child but hey thats the way the cookie crumbles.

yes a mental disability.... i didn't call anyone mental did i? ohh no i didn't.

baby awake I am tearing myself away to go shopping. I am amazed at how well you know all the children in the school Vaunda.

"JimJams.... please for your own sake learn to read for not once have i said Karl had a gaurenteed place i said the entire juniors will be auditioned."

But many of the juniors are too young according to the RBS website??

someone mentioned that my friends ds was showing signs of autism recently,as she's only 16 she thinks that its something she has done and wont take him to a doctor, do you know anything i can say to her to get her to take him to be tested, he is 2 but she has skipped his 2yr check b ymoving home.

Vaunda, have you told your son that people on this thread are talking about you and him being unusual?

its not the kids fault. if he exsited which there is no way he does then its the parenting thats to blame

The Royal ballet audition from 8 years I think QOQ
within their community programme

Vaunda- these days it is usualy preferable to use the term "learning difficulty" or name the condition - eg "autistic" rather than say someone has a "mental disability". Certainly I find my teeth stand on edge a bit when someone says "mental disability" to describe my son- mainly old ladies who do that- they're just a bit behind.