How much do you 'ignore' your children?

[Gameboy]

Have just been out with two families - friends of ours- who have kids about the same age, and I have to confess, I am amzed by the extent to which they actively 'ignore' their children trhoughout the whole afternoon.

By this I mean they seem to 'zone out' from all the various requests/ questions/ constant 'to-ing and fro-ing' that seems typical of under- 6s??

As a result they actively seem to enjoy themselves more, manage to have 'adult' conversations (which I gave up years ago )and it seems that their kids eventually give up and go and sort out themselves whatever it is they want....( which seems like a good thing I suppose)

I can't decide whether I'm just a mug with my kids and let them dominate my life too much... but I simply CAN'T ignore them - it seems really rude and uncaring somehow??

Vaunda, in no way am I criticising you - all children are different, all parents are different, that's true. If your son is interested in world events, then he will find out the information for himself anyway, so at least you are there making sure he has the true facts.

I don't have a 7 year old so don't really know what they should be exposed to - my eldest is nearly 5 and he doesn't watch the news, nor has he even asked where babies come from, so I'm not there yet.

But one good thing at least has come out of your upbringing, and that's self-confidence and staying calm when people are possibly questioning your parenting, so maybe your little boy will grow up with the same attributes. I constantly worry about how to do right for my children, so you've got one on me.

Most likely, as someone has said before, your next child will be different, and you may have to learn all about ballet (Or whatever) in order to interact with that one...

wordgirl.
thankyou. I don;t for one second expect every child to be the same or to have the same interests etc. I have always treated my son with the respect i expect from him he may be a child but he has a brain and can take information in etc.

My son is not perfect he does like all children have his off days and i remain calm throughout them at the end of the day don't we all have off days. lol

But actually Vaunda, that isn't the truth is it? Bad things happen to careful people. Terrorists give no warning, and whether you are there or not isn't going to make much difference if there is a bomb on your bus. I don't disagree with where you are coming from, I just think that you are taking it too far. You are obviously not going to agree with any of us, which is fine, but on the other hand I don't think we are going to agree with you.

No, I just don't get your logic there, Vaunda. Still, you are quite determined in your parenting style and convinced that you are doing it right - and I have to say I envy you that because I wonder every day about the way I handle things and whether I am doing a good job as a mother. You have also been very patient on this thread - in the face of some rather rude comments (I have a sneaking suspicion you've been enjoying yourself). Hope you have another baby before too long - I think it will be a very positive thing for you and Karl.

mine like the wimpy in marget, they learn all the swear words and learn to count money on floor and self defence too

Steffe,
well lets hope i do actually have another eh? i am waiting for test results to see if i can. But if i do i suer hope it is a girl.
and as for the ballet bit karl is being auditioned in october by the royal school of ballet they come to his school every year and pick 3 children to trian with them for the rest of their lives if they want to... and he really wants it.

I actively ignore my child about as much as she actively ignores me. I would say about 40% of the time. If we are at a party though and lots of kids and adults I do probably ignore her about 90% of the time and let her get on with it. Shes 18 months and gets bored easily by the lack of results from whinging, not got the staying power of an older child. Will generally give up after a few minutes.

btw steffe,
i am so un confident in actual fact but that stems from a few experiences i have had which i will not go into on here.

Marthamoo, all mums are good mums. And we all do what is required of us by our children. I have days where i doubt my own ability but when i look at the smile on karls face i know i am doing it right for him as you are with your children and every mum does with theirs

Can you all please stop now, because I need to go to bed, but can't tear myself away from the extraordinary entity that this thread has become?

Changing the subject we met orla from BB6 today and OMG does she love herself.... on tv she looked a lot prettier lol

Went to a BBQ this weekend, loads of kids and adults. The kids were like something off Swallows and Amazons, tearing around this huge garden climbing trees, picking blackberries and stuff. All diff ages 12 months to 8 years. The adults only really intervened when there were tears or fights. It was great to see them all doing their own thing. My dd was slightly overawed by the whole thing when she got a bit tired.

Martha, i don;t enjoy rude comments but i stay calm afterall all the anger in the world won't save the planet will it

I really, really want this thread to go into the MN archives.

What's the criteria for archiving?

ha ha ha, lonelymum, still on top form 'clamouring for attention to be told the names for female genitalia' Classic.

we should all stop driving our cars

this has moved on such a lot since i was last on it - in a nutshell what's happened since Michael Jackson was brought into it? I see beastiality and terrorism so far?

Nope this is not for real. RThe Royal Ballet school going to a schoo, to pick 3 to train for the rest of their lives?????????? WTF???? I know someone who auditioned and nope doesn't work like that. We've been had girls/laydees!

I had my suspicionis - hence my thread asking when people's children started talking coherently (ie understandable my OTHER adults)........

yes because surely to save energy karl would have to ride a pit pony which was minature

not if he asked for a thoroughbred Fio. He could have one then

JimJams i can assure that every October/november they do attend my sons school and do audtion all the children from yr3 + and they do indeed pick 3 from the lot. If you would like i can give you the schools number and you can find out for yourself exactly when they will be in. The dance teacher there at the moment does an hour of dance with the pupils and also a variety of dance ballet being one of them.

Fio, we walk to school and back everyday, we walk to most places. today was the first time in about 3 months we have got a bus anywhere exceot when we went on holiday.

PLease do Vaunda because I don;t believe it! Unless it's some sort of stage school (although karl doesn't really sound like a stage school kid).