How much do you 'ignore' your children?

[Gameboy]

Have just been out with two families - friends of ours- who have kids about the same age, and I have to confess, I am amzed by the extent to which they actively 'ignore' their children trhoughout the whole afternoon.

By this I mean they seem to 'zone out' from all the various requests/ questions/ constant 'to-ing and fro-ing' that seems typical of under- 6s??

As a result they actively seem to enjoy themselves more, manage to have 'adult' conversations (which I gave up years ago )and it seems that their kids eventually give up and go and sort out themselves whatever it is they want....( which seems like a good thing I suppose)

I can't decide whether I'm just a mug with my kids and let them dominate my life too much... but I simply CAN'T ignore them - it seems really rude and uncaring somehow??

fqueenzebra,
I don't have a problem with him having a telescope just this one imparticular as it is very advanced and expensive. My bro-in-laws grandad bought it for him and he is now dead so i would be constantly worried it could be damaged in some way.

A tv programme about alchoholics and drug addicts?

Katemum
yes thats right.

The harm in being honest is that you knock the innocence out of your child. Innocence does not mean ignorance. My son also watches the news but I don't choose to elaborate on the nastier side of life if it can be helped. I don't believe that just because a child asks for information, it should necessarily always be given.

Danger of news for me is that you either terrify them or inure them.

lonelymum,
thats where we differ. I was never lied to and i will never lie to my son. if he asks what something is i tell him and will continue to do so. He still has the innocence of a child but he also has knowledge of the real world and the nastiness that is in it.

I don't lie to my child either but it is not always necessary to answer their questions fully.

Would you let your child watch an 18 certificate film Vaunda?

Vaunda, just looked at your last comment and have to see, part of the innocence of a child to me is the NOT knowing about the nastiness of the world surely?

as i said lonely mum thats where we differ. I would rather arm him with the full facts rather than part of them

Couldn't you just insist that he can only use the telescope under supervision (DS1 can only use my birding scope when I'm there, because of the tripod problem.)

Um... you don't lie to your child but you let him believe in Santa/ToothFairy/something else... did I understand that right? Isn't that an implicit lie?

Caligula, bit of a difference really

I must say I don't let my dds watch the news as I don't feel they are old enough to understand what they might see - it can be very graphic these days. If I think they are going to hear about some news item at school, eg the tsunami, london bombings, I tell them about it myself at a level they can understand. Dd1 would have been traumatised by pictures of the aftermath of the tsunami, she was upset enough just hearing the bare facts.

Vaunda, if your little boy asked to watch a cert 18 film would you let him?

I find the nastiness of the world pretty hard to cope with and I'm 40! I sometimes think I would be a lot happier if I never read a newspaper or watched TV

Take him to the loal A&E then on a Saturday night and let him see the drunks thw=rowing up on the floor and the knife victims bleeding to death. Me, I will keep my boy tucked up in bed.

fqueenzebra as i said he still has his childhood innocence. and as i already said i am pretty sure he stopped believing last yr.

lol that this thread was started by " gameboy"

Vaunda, I'm not sure there is. The events of 9/11 or the hurricane and NO floods, are just as traumatic to see film of, imo.

I remember being very surprised to see how upset my DS was by the Channel 4 news (it happened to be on and he was supposed to be getting ready for bed but somehow wandered into the TV room instead) and making a mental note to be very careful about what news footage to allow him to see.

Lonelymum he has seen it thanks as he has had to go to the hospital of an evening before. but thanks for the suggestion.

That juxtaposition seems very odd to me. I don't do Father Christmas because I don't like to lie to my children (well apart from the I've got no money so you can't have an icecream sort of lie). I will answer all their questions at the level I think appropriate at 6 and 5. I don't wish to scare them but I don't want to wrap them in cotton wool. I would not let them watch the news. Why should the news be of any interest to them at their age anyway? In a couple of years they can watch newsround, and start to learn more about the world. For now they can live in a world without details of murder, child molestation, random shootings and disaster.

Was he roaring drunk then? How very modern of you.

Totally agree, Caligula. Mine would be terrified of ch4 news and I would never let them watch it. Real no no in this house.

I got told at the age of 5 there was no santa claus, and told my younger sister so she has never believed in him.

I always remember my Grandad dying at age 5 - it's my earliest memory I think. We travelled upto Scotland on a Thursday, with five of us kids in the back of the car. My other Grandad took us to the park so we wouldn't witness it but I overheard people talking about my Grandad's leg having gangrene and what it looked like. I acted bravely etc then but it gave me nightmares for ages and even now, 20 years later I think about it.

Rightly or wrongly people grow up and remember their parents failings. Or are brainwashed and speak like robots, lol

have to confess our boys watch the News and programmes such as "aircraft investigations" (or whatever it's called).

But we don't sit down and dicuss it in great detail with them during or afterwards. If they ask questions - we answer, in simple terms that they can understand.

And DS1 thinks the aircraft one is great.......as he's always had an obsession when playing with his toy cars and airplanes of crashing them !