I cried my eyes out when i put her to bed tonight.

[Thomcat]

She was asleep. I had read her a story and laid next to her, she asked for 'more tic tic' which means I have to stroke her tummy and she fell asleep, all messy hair and little soft round face. One arm on her nappy, the other above her head. So perfect, so beautiful. I just cried and cried. I can't bear the thought that her life will be hard, that she'll never speak properly and that people won't understand her, that she won't be happy, that she'll know she's different. What if people leave her out like they do now because they assume she can't do stuff, or is just not like them? What if no-one other than her family ever really, really love her? I want to freeze time, keep her like she is now, protect her. The future is so bloody scary. I know this is my pregnancy hormones making me feel so emotional and taking my thoughts into the future, somewhere I never go, and this is why.

Sorry, nothing you can say, just started crying while I was on here so let it all out rather than coming off line.

I'm okay now, well, you know, I'll go and get that other piece of chocolate cheesecake out the fridge.

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Cod

You got your own thread last night, you soft thing

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gggglimpopo!

That gave me goosebumps Great post x

Well I have just read this and am feeling all teary - and no cheesecake to cheer me up either.

You are all so nice. I pop in and out and read a lot and sometimes post - not as often as some - some of you seem to really know each other well. Sorry - this is a bit waffling but I just wanted to comment on the level of support and warm fuzziness and giggles generally.

Thomcat - read your posts when you found out you were PG - cried then too! Sorry to hear you are having work issues too. Lottie sounds like a real litte poppet - yes - there will be a hard road ahead in SOME respects but what rewards! Have a good day off.

The best thing about having a moment of feeling low and sharing it with you is reading the wonderful and insporational posts from you lot. ggglimpopo - that was a lovely post, thank you.

Hi Thomcat. Haven't read this thread, only your opening post. Just want to say, do you remember you met my (then) 12-y-old daughter and she said to you 'mummy told me that having Down's means you have a lovely life'?

You told me you thought that was sweet, but I couldn't remember saying it. But a couple of days later I remembered - I did explain it to my daughter in those terms. Why?

Lottie will have a lovely life because she will not feel the things you fear. She will love and trust others and be happy with very little. She may not 'enjoy' the same kind of freedoms you and I do, but she also won't be bound up in the stresses of striving for more and competing, greed and excess that most of us fall prey to. She will live her life with enormous good grace and a genuinely innocent good heart for everything and everyone. I think she will be happier than most people especially with her wonderful loving family to protect her.

Will anyone else really really love her? Of course they will. She is one of the most lovable people on the planet and you don't have to be her mother to know that.

oh bugger off you lot, especially you gg

this is too much for a Friday morning at work

will be openly howling in a minute

ggglimpopo

God sake woman, you just made me blub.

Thanks Anorak, you always write such lovely posts. Of course I remember your lovely DD saying that to me, I thought it was more than just sweet, I was immensley touched by it.

LOL at you lot

Wanted to post last night Thomcat but pc wouldn't let me, your post really really touched me, I think other mumsnetters have said it all really. We have our 20 week scan today and no matter what they could say this baby is already part of our family and will be loved just as much as DD is.

This morning I brought DD into bed for a cuddle as always and she was lying cuddled up to me asleep so peaceful and warm and part of me wishes she could stay that way for ever. She is so warm and loving and had never known, real fear, hurt, shame, jealously or any other hang ups we all have. Like everyone on here the thought of anything happening to her fills me with such dread.

Lottie is Lottie she sounds such a special little girl and she was given to you for a reason as you must be special too to have such a special gift.

Better go my pregnancy hormones getting the better of me again.....

oh beety, are you still there, when's the move, what's happening, good luck.

Anorak

Will you stop it??

I am due in the gym and I am sitting here blubbing.

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Perfect words Anorak!

It was what I had going round in my head, but it just kept coming out all wrong when I tried to write it.

Lottie will have a life of pure innocence, and of love. Because those with downs seem to radiate love, I truly believe that it comes back to them in the same way.

Yes, her life will be different to "normal" kids, but it will be very very special.

I 'll never forget that post of yours TC when you'd had that incredible day during which everyone Lottie met - on the train, out and about, seems in awe of her and totally mezmorised. And everyone on here who has met her - aloha etc seems brimming with utter joy about her. That won't change has she gets older, some people have natural charisma and some don't. Anorak and ggg have (again) hit the nail on the head. (articulate bs so they are

Thomcat - your dd is so lucky to have you. WHatever challenges she comes across she will be strong as she would have had a loving upbringing. You will be there to help her and your family team will always support her xxx

Hi Thomcat. I have childminded a little girl with DS her speach isn't the best, but she is soooo popular with the children at my house and at school her mum was so worried before she started but she honestly can't belive it. My DS is normally anti girls but has tried to remember as much of the makaton sp? sign language as he can so he can talk to her. He has a girl with DS in his class as well and I have lost count of the number of times she has held his hand to take him in when he hasn't wanted to go to school.
Another friend of mine the doctors told her that her daughter would never walk or talk and she has proved them all wrong. I think that small children are the best at excepting others, I'm sorry I can't allay your fears anymore. I lay awake a night sometimes worrying about the DC's thinking what if the fall in with the wrong crowd what would I do how would I help them.

sorry I was rambling

Hiya thomcat, i just wanted to say that although i dont have a child with DS, i used to have a very very very good friens with DS! she was called Emily and she was one of the bestest friends we ever had, her family moved away when she was 15 and we still keep in touch via email and phone and snail mail for fun, and just like ggglimpopo says, she never held grudges, or got judgmental, she was always there no matter what and would always forgive and forget anything - looking back if Emily had been my daughter i would have been scared that people would take that for granted and use it against her, but because she was so wonderful and forgiving and caring none of us would have EVER even thought about using thata gianst her - she is the best! Unfortunately she did get some stick from people at times simply because she was different, but i think there are so many people out there that have no special needs at all and are bullied and mistreated at school and sometimes beyond! - people can be so cruel no matter who you are, i worry about my kids too, they are only 2 and 5, but im scared they will be bullied at school, or wont make friends easily and be lonley, i wish i could go to school with them and protect them from anyone with bad intentions but i cant! like all the other mums have said you sound like a fabulous mum, and im sure Lottie will have alot less to worry about all the time she has you fighting her corner, i will always thank the day i met Emily - she has always been a wonderful part of my life!