I cried my eyes out when i put her to bed tonight.

[Thomcat]

She was asleep. I had read her a story and laid next to her, she asked for 'more tic tic' which means I have to stroke her tummy and she fell asleep, all messy hair and little soft round face. One arm on her nappy, the other above her head. So perfect, so beautiful. I just cried and cried. I can't bear the thought that her life will be hard, that she'll never speak properly and that people won't understand her, that she won't be happy, that she'll know she's different. What if people leave her out like they do now because they assume she can't do stuff, or is just not like them? What if no-one other than her family ever really, really love her? I want to freeze time, keep her like she is now, protect her. The future is so bloody scary. I know this is my pregnancy hormones making me feel so emotional and taking my thoughts into the future, somewhere I never go, and this is why.

Sorry, nothing you can say, just started crying while I was on here so let it all out rather than coming off line.

I'm okay now, well, you know, I'll go and get that other piece of chocolate cheesecake out the fridge.

PMSL at you Hub, how funny!

Monkfish wrapped in parma ham.

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Only trout in this house. Fresh from the Kennet, hmmmmmmmmm

cod, missed you {{{{{{{{{{{{ arf arf arf}}}}}}}

Listen, appreciation of fine food and decent music rate highly in my 'book of life'. Go Little Lottie.

Easy with the compliments, you're supposed to be in Deep Angst and unable to think straight.

Go on... to bed with ya, gel.

X

ohhh yes, massive, huge prawns done on the bbq.

Right , past 10 and I'm going to bed now.
Thanks again, and well done for turning it round from big heaving sobs to laughing at fish things!

Absolutley brilliant.

Those were the days...

When hub2dee was just wantonsexgodinhiding.

PMSL.

I am going, honest but just have to say one last time how bloody brilliant you all are, raving mad and wonderful.

Stop making me look back here!
Night
xxx

tc, full admiration for getting such nicities out of the codmeister!

lottie is so lucky to have you for a mummy, hope she is enjoying her playgroup, she will have lots and lots of friends to love her when hse is older, you say what if she just has her family to love her, but what more does anyone need? and remember she iwll have a little bro or sis soon enough!

nightnight x

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they will love her though

even at six you will get complete strangers who know and love your daughter taking her out for the day, kissing her and telling you how much they love her. it has happened to me, it will happen to you. Not everyone in this world is blinkered.

My daughters escort (our friend) has a 22 yr old son with down syndrome. She takes him to the youth club on thursday evening. he has 'mates' there who are teenagers. No-one mocks him and he has a fab time. Life can be kind thomcat, it is not always harsh

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TC

My darling, you can not be Mrs 100% in control all the time.

Glad you are feeling better.

I have to say however, and I will probably be flamed for this.

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Cod is a softie

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TC you are a deffo brill mummy

One of my best friends has 2 adopted children with downs

Ben is 13 years and Chrissie is 6 years

They are both deffo brill

And my DS doesn't see them as different, the only thing I have heard my DS say is that, someone else looked like Ben cos he had spikey blond hair and wore glasses.

They do speak slightly differently but everyone understands them. It is like listening to an accent, sort of like a londoner listening to a glaswegian IYSWIM

TC, if you ever need a chat over a coffee (not that we drink coffee, being vitruous pg ladies - actually, I don't because I have the taste buds of an eight-year-old ), just shout. I promise not to remember anything about you for when I post on here next too

And Coddy...I knew you had a soft centre under that scaly exterior

I know, I know...thwack!

thomcat, can i meet you and lottie at harefield one day? we can drag hunkermunker along as well.

i still have wierd hormones in my body as am breatfeeding and cry at everything, so we can be 3 hormonal women crying over our de-caff coffees.

TC, I don't want to sound critical but I really think its better for you to be honest about this sort of thing and share with people who understand. I don't get why you haven't posted this on SN where we all know how this feels and I sometimes think you avoid us in case we bring you down (we probably would! ). I'm not saying you should think about this sort of thing all the time, or even much of the time, but it won't go away or get better just because you avoid it. I think that you really don't feel like this usually but, here you are, sometimes, even rarely, you do. With no 2 on the way this sort of thing is bound to come up more and you are obviously emotional. We all know how much you adore Lottie and how good her life is but its not disloyal to face reality even a little now and then.

TC- couldn't read and not post. Thinking of you and Lottie xx

That'd be lovely, Misdee

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davros, she wasn't looking for answers, she was looking for support. and I rather think she got it, don't you?
after all if us NT mums can support her then doesn't it bode well for the support that lottie find from the NT community (ie the wider world) in the future? or do you think that support from SN mums is all that should be sought/needed?

TC, you are allowed to worry for Lottie and you seem to be so accepting of Lottie in all your posts, it wouldn't be human of you not to have some worries/fears for her future. Just think of the mental horrors some mums of SN kids go through, and you mustn't beat yourself up so much for feeling as you did tonight. We know you are a supermum, but maybe allow yourself some time off now and again from coping. Lottie is so lucky to have you. Don't you know SN kids choose their parents, not the other way round.

TC, you are allowed to worry for Lottie and you seem to be so accepting of Lottie in all your posts, it wouldn't be human of you not to have some worries/fears for her future. Just think of the mental horrors some mums of SN kids go through, and you mustn't beat yourself up so much for feeling as you did tonight. We know you are a supermum, but maybe allow yourself some time off now and again from coping. Lottie is so lucky to have you. Don't you know SN kids choose their parents, not the other way round.

PPH

Excellent post.

LGJ