Stupid inane things that people say...

[Pruni]

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Melissamummy
I'm absolutely GOBSMACKED at that punter's comment to you !

Even if you were a single mum mm and did live off benefits that still doesnt give any1 the right to have a go surely. Im single mum on benefits and i hate it when people assume im sitting on my arse all day doing nothing (if only) or that i carelessly got myself knocked up or that this is all i wanted out of life. I dont, i didnt and its not but things dont always turn out how you planned.
And when my kids are both at school ill go out to work and pay my taxes so that some1 else can stay home and live on benefits and do the very worthwhile job of raising their children

Exactly, pesha! What that fella said to you was totally uncalled for.

Exactly Pesha! Apart from the fact that I had worked my own ar** off for 15 years prior to having had DD, then I wouldn't feel guity about being on benefits anyway!

One thing among the many I feel really happy about paying tax for is for paying benefits to single parents. Shame it's so little.

sorry, hijack.

Frogs, I've got to be honest, clearly the midwife's comment upset you very much but it didn't look bad to me?

The midwife's comment didn't really upset me, I just thought it was stupid and presumptious. Unfortunately there's a lot of it out there.

My current favourite is... "How come you and your sister are so different" (she has 34a boobs and I have 38G! She's 6ft 1 and I'm 5ft 8! She weighs 10 stone, and I weigh considerably more!!!!)

Drives me demented. People can be so rude.

oh - when especially medical professionals ask - did you know dd1 had down syndrome before she was born??? the look on their face when i say yes - is precious... the inference is that had I known - she would not have been born and poor me would have had no choice but to take her home and raise her/love her.

My UK GP telling me I want an amnio with dd2 cause I would want to know... without even asking if I wanted one and then being surprised when I said No thank you. Same GP telling me I would want every test going including a fetal cardiac scan given that dd1 was born with a heart defect...... Same GP gets all miffed when I reply to that statement with my how dumb can you be tone of voice - that dd1 has a heart defect because she has down syndrome - in fact her defect is the most common amongst people with ds. I could understand if I was ambivalent or wanting these tests but to tell ME what I want?!?!?!?

fimbelle - had that but in terms of a boy - have 2 dd's was asked when dd2 was born - did I not want a boy.... even angered me further when they suggested that dh would be disappointed with the fact he has two dds

I get 'you and your sister are very alike, aren't you?'. Doh! Don't they realise we already know that?

I don't really mind repetitive small talk, like others have said, it's a way of talking to people you don't actually know very well. But when you stop and think about some of the phrases we all use, they are daft.

The comments made to mums of SN kids beggar belief, though. Although I have to admit I caught myself doing the 'wow, pg again'? reaction to someone with two kids with SN (luckily didn't actually say it). Not that I don't think she's got the right to have more kids or anything, just surprised she's keen to have even more demands on her time and energy.

Frogs, I had something similar after we had the triple test and got a result of increased risk of DS, then refused an amnio. The doctor said "Oh is this a really precious baby?" It was said kindly but dur! No this is one of those babies I'm not really arsed about one way or the other!!!???

Yes, laligo, exactly!

Deciding not to have a particular, or indeed any, antenatal testing is a perfectly rational choice, and not that uncommon. You'd think medical personnel would by now have worked out that refusing a test does not make you (a) an insanely devout Catholic; (b) a rabid pro-lifer or (c) a saintly mother of potentially disabled children. But from the way staff react you'd think refusing a test was tantamount to putting in a direct request for a baby with two heads.

After giving birth - 'what did you have?', 'err, a baby, bit disappointed as I was hoping for a puppy'.

Logic - I've never had binocular vision, the only consequence I've come across is that I can't see magic eye pictures but I am very popular with my optician! Hope everything works out for your dd.

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Someone once said to my mum on hearing that I have a dd and a ds - "Oh one of each - how clever"- wtf?

LOL Laligo!

Thanks disslocated! I didn't really know what the consequences were but it seemed to be a concern to the consultant. The birthmark seems to be a bit smaller today or maybe it's wishful thinking!

The worst I've had, more than once and from people with autistic children, when they found out I had only one child, but who is severely autistic "aren't you lucky you've only got one?" and they didn't mean one autistic child, they meant one child, i.e. I didn't have to tie myself in knots getting one child to brownies, another to ballet, another to computer club etc. I wish!
I got a very grim reception from someone doing amnio when I was having DD when I said I didn't knowlingly want another child with SN. She looked at me like I was a murderer!

how could they possibly think brownies/computers etc would even feature on your radar!

Well, didn't explain properly, they mean that they have to deal with ASD child AND get their NT kids around to their activities etc. Still, I wished at the time!

OMG how insensitive is that??????????

Logic, disslocated's reminded me that I don't have proper binocular vision either - can't see Magic Eyes or use binoculars, in fact. Due to a squint. In my case it's easily corrected with glasses but I can see fine without them (well, as fine as any other person with -3 and -3.5 short sight but YKWIM). Hope it's that simple for your dd.

Thanks for the info, edam!

I have had someone say to me 'aren't you lucky to have a boy and a girl?' which I thought was a very odd thing to say and I was a bit taken aback. Like people with two kids of the same gender aren't lucky? Lucky to have two healthy kids yes. Lucky to have two kids at all frankly given the trouble some people have but just because I have one of each? Don't really get that.