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Original poster

Stupid inane things that people say...

129 replies

Pruni · 14/08/2005 14:13

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OP posts:
logic · 15/08/2005 09:38

I can completely understand that such comments would be upsetting and letting off steam away from the kids is vital. Do you think that it's down to people just not knowing about SN conditions then? I didn't know anything about birthmarks until dd got one and I wouldn't have known what to say either.

I generally find that people tend to reflect your response to them though. I get lots of people saying 'ooh has she scratched herself?' when it clearly isn't a scratch but I choose to hear that as 'I can see that your baby has a problem. I'm curious, can we discuss it?'. I just smile and explain and maybe the next baby they see with one, they won't say something as daft!

logic · 15/08/2005 09:40

OMG jimjams, that teacher's comment is appalling! People not knowing is somewhat understandable IMO but after a year?!

logic · 15/08/2005 09:58

Forgot to say, it isn't dd birthmark that's the problem per se, it's the location. Her consultant said that if it gets much bigger then she may lose binocular vision. We are currently waiting for an urgent referral to Great Ormond Street Hospital. So, 'it's only the way she looks' is exactly the kind of daft, ignorant comment that we have to put up with.

Jimjams · 15/08/2005 10:01

but you could forgive someone saying that once, or a stranger saying it, after all how would they know, but now imagine a family member saying it every week.......

Fio2 · 15/08/2005 10:04

ytes and saying, well at least she isnt much trouble (MIL) WTF?
"I dont think she would be as loveable if she didnt have problems (MIL again)
She isnt that bad, she will catch up, you will be suprised how far she will come on (gran)

sparklymieow · 15/08/2005 10:08

Logic my DS and DD1 both have physical disablities, and DD2 has a strawberry birthmark on her face, so I have heard all the comments too.

sparklymieow · 15/08/2005 10:18

I have one comment that shocked me so much I didn't know what to say, it was stupid and very insentive

I was walking home one day from the shops with DS, who are about 3 atm and Dd1 who was a baby, in a double buggy. This old man stopped me and said 'That kid should be walking' I said 'he can't walk far, he has a disablity' the man asked me what was wrong so I explained he had CP and he asked what caused it, I replied brain damage, and he said 'well he can't be very brain damaged if he gets push about, he's playing you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mumtosomeone · 15/08/2005 10:48

I am sorry but you have to laugh dont you!! Some people are so dum!!!
Dont you wish you were quick enough to have a good reply!!!

RnB · 15/08/2005 12:30

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waterfalls · 15/08/2005 12:34

When you have had 6 inches taken off your hair and someone says

OOH have you had your hair cut

No I just had my ears lowered.

waterfalls · 15/08/2005 12:38

When strangers ask me the age difference in my twins.

12 minutes but does it make a difference.

And then they try and guess witch one is the eldest.........fgs

logic · 15/08/2005 12:39

Cheers, RnB. Yes, it's a type of vascular birthmark and it's triangular but it's starting to raise up now. Apparently, it takes 2 or 3 laser treatments under GA to remove it! I'm really hoping that the hospital will say that it will shrink soon and she can avoid all that.

Yes, the same comment every week from a relative would send me postal, jimjams! Sympathies.

Mud · 15/08/2005 12:43

Shit - an awful lot of these comments are people trying to be pleasnat and polite and show an interest in you and your families I am shocked at how rude many of you can be and feel insisde i suppose you all think how much better it will be if people just ignore everyone else. i can somewheat understand those with children with disabilities getting fed up with well-meant comments and not so well-meant ones so don't include many of those posts but the rest of you just sound

moozoboozo · 15/08/2005 12:47

I get "You'd be stunning if you lost some weight" all the bloody time

Grrrrrrrrr

Mud · 15/08/2005 12:51

now thats jsut plain rude

moozoboozo · 15/08/2005 12:59

Most certainly is, so not only am I a big fat biffer, I am ugly too.

Nice

Mud · 15/08/2005 13:00

no - that means 'you're quite pretty but you're fat'

Mummyvicky · 15/08/2005 13:13

Mine at the moment whenever i set foot out the house is "ooh youve had them close together- I bet you've got your hands full" as if I'm the only mother on the planet to have 3 kids !! I've also had "I bet you were shocked when you found out you were pregnany with him, when your little girl is still a baby" GRRRRR!!!
I just answered very calmly no, he was planned we wanted them close together, then I walked off. Some people are so rude!!

MrsBubsDeVere · 15/08/2005 14:16

LOL I know what you mean with all those comments mud.

The one that i have had said by friends and family is:

'I know your fat, but you still have a pretty face'

It really really bugs me

sallystrawberry · 15/08/2005 15:35

This reply has been deleted

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spidermama · 15/08/2005 15:53

'You're making a rod for your own back'.
'I don't suffer fools'.
'You've got your hands full there'
I suppose people are trying to be friendly but if they catcfh you in the wrong mood ... Grrrrr!

I've caught myself saying to other mums the very things which irritate me, like, 'Hasn't he grown? and 'You've got your hands full'.
I also find myself regularly making very irritating small-talk with pregnant women and wondering how many times each day they have to answer these questions, 'When are you due? Do you know what you're having? ... and Have you got a name?' It's like the bump in front of them is their sole identity.
I can actually hear myself doing it but am unable to stop. I'm already kicking myself midway through the sentence but I soldier on. Why?

CarolinaMoon · 15/08/2005 16:03

Spidermama, you know nearly all pg women love all that stuff - half the fun of being pg is all the attention.

wassy · 15/08/2005 16:04

but YOU aren't fat - yeah!

sweetkitty · 15/08/2005 16:11

"was it planned?"
"you'll have your hands full"
"you'll be wanting a boy this time"

yes we actually wanted a small gap where does it say "you must leave 2 years between babies!"

mumtosomeone · 15/08/2005 17:14

I got aske out right if my 4th was a mistake..there is a big age gap as I remarried!!
I said calmly 'no very much planned and wanted'

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