Cooking with aubergines

[ImSoNotTelling]

And here we are! I don't know if anyone will join in or not, but if anyone does, I have a little rant I would like to get off my chest!

How's that for tempting

Sadly this thread title may attract the wrong sort, it's on the first page of a Google search for "cooking with aubergines"

I am horrified and amazed that so many people would even consider doing such a terrible thing, but to each, their own.

But it may need to be changed so how about "The Aubergine Club" as a pastiche of Fight Club. We'll be terribly middle class about it though:

"the first rule of Aubergine Club is - one never talks about Aubergine Club"

Funny x-post regarding aubergines

oblomov and ISNT, from way back in the begining of this thread. I'm sorry if you got upset at what i said. i was trying, in my own way, to comfort you. you hadnt had any replies on here about anything other than aubergines, and i was giving you my experience of this.

i will not get any further involved in this. ihope you all find the appropriate closure that you need.

ladysybil no worries (on behalf of the Aubergine Club)

And thank you for your good wishes

only 1 Gp surgery. opposite ds1's school. so convenient. dh been there all his life. next one 5 miles in next town. dh and i don't want to move.

thank you ladysybil.

welcome mloo.

here i am up at 4 am thinking about all of this. happens alot. not good. used to sleep for england.

Oh oblomov I hate to think of you sitting up in the middle of the night like that. We will have to find a way forward with all of this.

Also we definitely need to change the name of the thread. Apparently peopleare interested in cooking with aubergines. Who knew?

Any suggestions?

Yeah, I had trouble sleeping last night, dredging it all up again. Not that healthy!!

It was (?is) so upsetting, demoralising, frustrating an experience.

Here's an irony: my mother was child protection service SW. Once she was nearly reported to SS, too (at 2yo I was a serial escaper from the family home at 5am). She was none-too-happy at that prospect, too. So I'm not one to bash SWs.

I will bash people who are nice to your face and then accuse you of neglect anonymously over minor issues. And all the media hysteria which seems to think that the care system is preferable to even slightly inadequate parenting (my mom was so frustrated with the care system that she co-founded an advocacy group for foster children, it's a huge organisation with many branches now).

---
OTOH, I quite like aubergines, but DC don't so we have gotten out of the habit of cooking them

That's OK ladysybil, you don't have to stay away though

How about "Chat and support for people coming to terms with unwarranted contact with SS"

Hopefully if we start is with "chat" people will understand it's not supposed to be a confrontational or difficult thread IYSWIM

In 'chat'. agree, good idea. soething like : 'help to recover from a SS referal'. but maybe less words, more catchy, poignant.
thta way people might feel sorry for us. like a counsellor. and might come and offer us some advice. AND others that need help, may see it and visit. good for them and good for us.
ladysybil, please come back. sorry if i was curt earlier. you said 'my experience'. so you obviously have alot to offer. to me. i am sure you can help and and enlighten us.
mloo, how did you get over all this. please offer us your words of wisdom, because it is very raw for me. and i want to get over it.

Titles are hard aren't they!

I kind of want to get the unfounded bit in there! Otherwise we will maybe get people coming to see what we did that was so horrible

Maybe we will get that anyway.

Hmmm

Chat and support for people recovering from SS referral

?

Thread to help people get over being referred to SS

?

thank you.

i think you should stick with the auburgines. the other titles will invite people who have no experience whatsoever, and now that you have the precedence, aubergines can be mn code for social services recovery.

Chat and support for unfounded Aubergine referral?

I let dd attend the soft-play party for three year olds in the end. No accidents and then saw dd's teacher in Waitrose.

She asked how I was doing, confirmed that SS didn't even ring but she also said that they deal with between four and six referrals every week

Hope you're all well this evening

We could put together our list of questions and see if wahwah would be able to answer them for us? She seems lovely.

I am worried that if we put SS in teh title we will get all sorts of people coming in, and it might get a bit tricky. But equally I can see obs point that we want people to be able to find us as well. Hmm.

I had a similar experience re numbers with DDs nursery, am just cooking now though so will be back later.

Am glad about the soft play milady

glad about softplay milady. so shocked at 4-6 a week. surely not. how can this be ?
I don't think anyone ever contacted ds's school. i would die inside if they had. but how could i find out ?

Obs I only know that the people who report you have to tell you that they did. So in our case it was dd's hospital and ISNT had the charity.

I was the one who rang the school to say a referral had been made. Mind you I had already phoned them the day after accident to say, "this has happened, dd has had medical treatment but might complain of pain, needs to drink plenty of water, go to the loo when she wishes" etc and then dd told some staff members exactly how she had come to injure herself and the action taken which was also good in a way.

Social Worker from the Initial Response Team didn't even phone them even though he told me he would. He didn't even have details of her school until I provided them.

School were very sure that it was a box-ticking exercise and nothing to worry about and they were right, so I don't think they would know and if they did, and they get referrals at this shocking rate that they would be too judgemental IYKWIM?

Hope that reassures you a bit, I told school otherwise they wouldn't have known

I told nursery otherwise they wouldn't have known as well

I understand Obs that with you, they decided not to even do an assessment, they dismissed it without seeing you. I would put loads of money on them never contacting the school. Did they ask you for contact details of the school?

Also on milady's point, when I spoke to the nursery, she said they have to talk to SS about children all the time. She said it was really common (she was really nice actually, had had a run in herself years before). She said they always seem to make a fuss about the children who are fine, and that whenever there is a child where there are obviously issues and something needs doing, nothing seems to happen. She was very down on SS indeed.

The nursery worker had a run-in as well?

That's one thing we can take comfort from along with my dd's school dealing with 4-6 referrals each week isn't it?

It must be much more common than we are led to believe.

It still doesn't excuse the 55% dismissals of concerns when the scare resources would be better employed dealing with either clear-cut new cases or children and families known to SS though.

Yes when her children were small, one of them went to A&E after a fall and they were reported. And now she works where she does, so it obviously hasn't hindered her in working with children.

There was a thread where I found the figures for how many referrals were happening each year, and it was loads. But then a SW pointed out that would include referrals triggered by things like people wanting to adopt, and also second and subsequent referrals. I coudn't find the figures for "first referrals" and how many of them resulted in no further action. This stuff should be available.

I suggest new thread goes into Mental Health topic, does that sound ok?

Getting over it... time maybe is only cure.
I'm not really over it, but I am better about it.

Hi if I'm welcome to join you? I've just skim read but will go back and read the thread properly.

I'm currently in the middle of a core assesment, it is terrifying and the incompetence of our social worker is just shocking.

Also I don't know if you have heard of the FASSIT website? It is a mine of information on social services procedure and legalities, and the forum is really useful. Just tread carefully as there are some serious horror stories.

Hello TDWP

Of course you are welcome. Feel free to offload

mloo just thinking - maybe chat would be better - as the threads vanish into the ether after a few months, and it might help reassure people who are v paranoid that this won't all be written on here forever IYSWIM.

Any ideas on titles?