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Original poster

What do women want? (Please flip this thread!)

65 replies

mollipops · 10/07/2003 08:35

Hi! It's been a while since I have posted here, but I have been lurking when I get the chance while studying a social science degree.

This semester I am doing a womens studies unit and part of my first assignment is to ask women I know (and I count you wonderful mumsnetters as some of those women!) "What do you want?"

PLEASE flip this thread and/or respond to this before you read any other responses, so that your answer is truly completely and uniquely yours without being influenced by what others may say. (Which is why I'm not telling you my response yet! )

Thankyou so much!

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 10/07/2003 11:44

Mollipops, how nice to see you! OK, what I want is:

  • Interesting, well paid, respected, PART TIME work i.e. work/life balance. Part time shouldn't = low pay and status but often does.
  • To be taken seriously and to have my views considered by health professionals, i.e. consultants, doctors etc. I remember someone here saying she always takes an FT to appts so the consultant doesn't "speak to me as if I'm one of my own children" It's happened to me too.
  • A better NHS and education system so that no-one needs or wants to go private
  • Children to go to school later than 5 as they do elsewhere in Europe.
  • Age discrimination to be illegal
  • Time. With my child/ren, partner, friends and alone (I do have this atm it has to to be said)
  • Money, just enough to give me the freedom to say, have a holiday or buy a house. So I don't want to be rich, I would just like to be better off.
  • Passion and to be loved by someone I love and admire and find interesting. I've got these.
  • Interesting conversations and intellectual stimulation. I get these too.
  • Close friendships and social time with people whose company I enjoy. I have quite a bit of these too.
  • Good health for me and my family/friends
  • All the usual world peace, end to disease, cure for cancer, that kind of thing
  • a lifetime supply of Chanel No 5, a sports car, a home cinema OK, so these are frivolous. I don't know if this is the kind of thing you're looking for though.
lilymum · 10/07/2003 11:52

I would like not to have to justify my decision to be a SAHM - I qualify it by explaining I do have a brain (an Oxford degree), but for the time being, caring full-time for my pre-schoolers is the priority for me in my family.

I wish that economically the odds weren't so stacked against one (average) wage-earner families. For us to stand a chance of buying a house locally (Oxford) I would have to go back to work full-time, or dh would have to get a massive pay rise, or we would have to win the lottery! I am seriously considering pursuing a future career in some sector of public services, like teaching, so I would then qualify as a key worker and get some help from the local Housing Association. I sometimes think we'd be better off giving away our hard-earned savings and seeing if we qualified for council housing.

And, when I eventually I do return to the working outside the home, I will be wanting the opportunity to work flexibly so as to accommodate my family commitments.

Hope this is of some help. Now I'm going read what everyone has put!

lilymum · 10/07/2003 11:53

Wow, just read yours www, and I want all that too!

whymummy · 10/07/2003 11:57

a cure for cancer and other horrible diseases
all children to be happy
all children to be safe
men to fully understand PMT and PND

Oakmaiden · 10/07/2003 12:05

The chance to have a lie in in the morning without being nagged every 5 minutes from 06:00am. Or is that a bit frivolous?

I want to be able to work in my chosen career and still have time to spend with my family. I want a husband who doesn't think that simply going to work and earning money is the only contribution he needs to make to family life. I want to be able to travel and see the world - and that will require more money than I have!

I want to be like I was when I was 20 - solim, and having lots of fun.

sobernow · 10/07/2003 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

winnie1 · 10/07/2003 12:11

To be Anita Roddick!

Seriously though I would like to be able to have a work lifestyle balance in a society where having children is celebrated and where both parents paternity 'rights' are more than meaningless legislation that one can not in reality impliment for fear of the consequences.

Would like women to finally be equal (because imho we've come along way but we aren't there yet (see above!))

Will write more later when I have more time

Frenchgirl · 10/07/2003 13:20

I want my child to be happy and safe and always feel loved.
I want people to be more caring, open-minded and understanding about others and our differences.
I want men to respect women more, and women to feel that they don't have to behave like men to be seen as strong.
I want my husband to have more time to spend with us, and I want more time to visit my friends and family!
Most of all I want a safe future for my child...
Hope that helps!!

Gumdrop · 10/07/2003 13:58

Respect

To be able to have and voice an opinion without being labelled as "mouthy", "hard nosed",or a "ball breaker".

To feel like a woman without having to wear itty bitty impractical bits of nothing.

Ness73 · 10/07/2003 14:01

It's very basic for me. Just for my family to be happy and healthy and to be able to spend time with them. This is why I now work from home part time (I'm a copywriter) since having my little girl 13mths ago. I always wanted the high flying career but it doesn't seem that important now. Would rather be in the park with her than in some bloody meeting!

So - a very simplistic answer but there you go.

codswallop · 10/07/2003 14:05

I want childrena and a husband and a home and health.

I think I sound like Miss world

ThomCat · 10/07/2003 14:08

The love of a good man
For my child/ren to be happy and healthy
A job that pays well, and I enjoy but that allows me to be around a lot for my kid/s.
For people to be be moire open minded about children/people with special needs
Oh and an end to world hunger and some world peace would be nice too!

Harrysmum · 10/07/2003 14:09

Don't know how to flip but promise not to peek!

What would I like?

My boys to be happy and secure.
Local schools that were as good as the private school attached to their nursery so we don't need to have a private/state argument. Same for all schools and all children.
A good work-life balance not just for me (I do and I am endlessly thankful) but also for dh (who doesn't).
A country that has confidence in the decency of it's people to share the wealth that we have with those that don't.
A workable and enforced solution to third world debt.
Not an end to all diseases etc because we do have to die some day and quite frankly I'm not sure that living to a doddery 120 is really what I want!
A proper minimum standard of living for everyone.
Long hot summers.
Freedom from having to justify my choices to my mil.

Slightly off track at the end...

marialuisa · 10/07/2003 14:20

Decent healthcare, quite happy for NHs to change radicly, contribute to cost of treatment etc but just want the endless waiting lists gone, particularly in paediatric departments.

I would like it to be able to give up work nd be a SAHM and not be viewed as freak for expressing this wish.

To spend more time with my DD but have some time just for me.

For my family (mum, sisters etc) to be happy and secure.

To pass my driving test!!!

Crunchie · 10/07/2003 15:56

I want pretty much what I have, smug cow alert Seriously a little extra cash wouldn't go amiss, part time job earning the same as a full time job, husband to get over his depression. Otherwise I am pretty happy with my lot.

Actually I think that a lot of people tend to be unhappy because they always want more - I am really generalising here - but I feel I only became happy when I realised that I would never have much more than I have now. Once I accepted that, I was happier and much less stressed.

Crunchie · 10/07/2003 16:00

I've just read the others answers now, and it is amazing how we all seem to want the same thing. Frivolity aside the work/life/money balance seems to be in every post. Also respect from others.

eefs · 10/07/2003 16:09

My children to grow up happy and healthy

To have a great relationship with all my family (including any daughter's in law I may have!)

To have enough time that I don't feel pulled in different directions

To work part-time and not lose my status

To be respected

To always have sufficient money that it doesn't becoume a major worry (I don't want to be rich, just to have enough. I suppose enough means a bit of change in my pocket after all bills are paid.)

Rhubarb · 10/07/2003 16:32

For men to actually listen to us instead of just nodding their heads.
For them to treat us as if we were on a first date all the time, and not just 5 mins before we go to bed!
For the whole world to suddenly become child-friendly.
For men to learn respect for ALL women.
For women to run the world's governments.
And for Haagen Daas ice-cream to be made a whole lot cheaper!

crossma · 10/07/2003 16:36

a peaceful world I know boring but if the world was better it would be better for us all especially the children, sometimes wonder what I brought them into it for so nice, friendly happy people all round please!

I suppose for your degree my answer would be equality right throughout whatever your sex, creed etc etc etc.

crossma · 10/07/2003 16:38

Actually if we had a peaceful world as I would like, in every sense then we would have total equality throughout and then happy people :0

miranda2 · 10/07/2003 16:49

Following instructions I haven't read the other posts yet:
Assuming the fact that the question refers specifically to women means what I want specifically as a woman, then the answer is: total equality, not to have any assumptions made about my skills or preferences based on my gender, not to be disadvantaged in the workplace or in anyones theories because I'm a woman (I work in the church - that is, I'm ordained (since last week!!)- so this is a HUGE issue as you can probably imagine). Oh, and lots of oral sex without having to give any back
As a human being - a world without cruelty and violence, where the weak and poor are valued and protected not exploited, where people are loved and valued for who they are not what they can contribute financially. A world ruled by love not fear and hatred.

lalaa · 10/07/2003 19:09

How interesting.
OK, so I admit I had a very quick swizz at some of the other answers and am afraid that my immediate gut response didn't include world peace - but maybe that's because I'm feeling a bit cross with my world generally - so mine are all about what I, personally, want:
a responsible management level job on family friendly terms.
a partner who lives at home during the week. (mine works away most of the time)
for dh to earn the lion's share of the money we bring in so I don't have the pressure(he does at the moment but doesn't want to)
truly equal responsibility for dd (ie more help from dh)
a family home (mine is tiny and not at all baby friendly which is v hard work with an 8 month old).
to live closer to my family
ready access to good quality reasonably priced childcare.
some respite from caring for dd 24/7.
thank you for the therapy - I feel better now!

SoupDragon · 10/07/2003 19:25

What I haven't got!

ks · 10/07/2003 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Jimjams · 10/07/2003 19:51

I'd like ds1 to talk- or at least be able to use language.

That's it. I would be the happiest person alive.