What do you think about "not doing anything" when children are at school/nursery?

[morningpaper]

My daughter's peers are starting nurseries ... and I'm finding myself really SHOCKED at the fact that my mummy-friends aren't doing anything with their time while their children are out of the home. I asked a friend last week what she did and she said "Oh I just get home, tidy up a bit, have a coffee - and then I have to pick him up again!"

As I work from home there is ALWAYS some work I can do. I also do voluntary work and could always do with more time to get stuff done.

I also don't understand why their partners are happy with them just taking 'mornings off' to themselves - aren't they a bit miffed?

I'm probably just jealous but I can't help but think that they are just plain lazy! What do other people feel about this?!

sometimes after I have dropped my son off at nursery I go home and have a shit in peace

Hope you use cloth nappies

I would like to add though that I don't think its 'lazy'.

Its more that the lack of stimulation would drive me barmy.

But as I've said on this topic many times before - that goodness we have a choice to make

Is it because you're a lazy c*w too Soupdragon?

all sloths welcome here

Ok gather round. I'll hold MorningPaper round while you all take turns to jump on from a great height.

...... pardon .... oh you can't be bothered..... You'd rather have coffee!!!... do your nails !!!!

Ladeez who can't even be bothered to lunch.

I've worked very hard over the last few years relentlessly with three young children. Now things are slightly easier with school and pre-school. Pre-school gives me a couple of hours to straighten out the house do washing and enjoy some peace. It's not really long enough to do much more.

As I said, I think I've certainly put in the graft to enjoy that at least and yes, I am still working if you call that work (which I do!). If though, I chose to go home and watch Fern and Phil for two hours, then so be it. I don't feel the need to justify what I do with my time to anyone else because I've spent many a night up late with children and babies being ill and being fed. Also I've ironed, cleaned and cooked late into the night because it's my only chance to get things done at times. I think the 'plain lazy' comment might prove to be a bit inflammatory tbh

Actually Flum, I'm too busy typing up the PTA minutes to give MP a damn good thrashing

I definitely don't think it's being lazy and TBH really don't care what other people do, different strokes and all that. It's just that on a purely personal level i would find it incredibly dull to spend the next 40 years never doing anything other than looking after kids or housework. And if I could afford not to work then I definitely wouldn't but I would do something else because personally i would go stir crazy if I didn't.
you can't spend 5 full days doing shopping and housework surely

Well I was trying to provoke some debate on a topic apart from length-of-subject-lines. Didn't realise it would be QUITE so heated.

I would DEFINITELY hate to have a 'free' morning which I filled up with housework! [horrors]

I've never felt that I've taken on more childcare/night-time care/babysitting while DH goes out than DH has done. So I don't feel like those of you who think 'I deserve it after all I've done!' - I think DH deserves it as much as I do! I agree that if you've been taking on more of the burden of childcare over the years than your DH then why not spend some time on yourself?

My personal sacrifice is not in time/ responsibility/ energy but in putting my brain and career on hold while I bring up small children. So naturally if I had time to myself I'd rather fill it with doing something stimulating (and that makes money).

katie
i could DEFFO spend 5 hours a day shopping and doing housework and feeling 100% complete. But it's a moot point b/c that'll never be an option for me in this lifetime.

I dunno what I'm defendign you lot for anyway. I schlep into london for 1.5 hours each morning read the paper drink cappuccino, mill around an office surfing the internet for a few hours. browse around the west end at lunch time, then read a great novel on my way home. GEt home at 7 spend one hour doing quality time with dd. Eat a ready meal. fall into bed then do it all again. I'm like on a hamster wheel

I could maybe spend 5 hours a day shopping for shoes and bags but not buying potatoes and nappies! Anyway, like you say, it's not even an option for me. Tons of stuff I'd like to do though:
Be a volunteer listening to children's reading at school
Do a degree
Do some local environmental work
and lots of other things.

Yeah MP that is is true. My dp and I both work full time. but when I am home I do 90% of childcare, 100% washing, 100% cleaning, 70% cooking.

But I don't mind because I do ar*se all at work and he works very hard at work

if I had the available time

for me as well I think there is a distinction between women who don't work at all when kids are small and women who never work again, ever, ever. I'm not judging just could not understand how you could do it. wouldn't it be dull?

If not doing paid work is so dull, why do so many people long for (and save hard for) early retirement?

because they spend their time doing interesting stuff not 100% shopping and housework?

Lima: I must admit I do tend to see mums-who-do-nothing and retired people as in a similar category...

Personally I can't think of anything more boring that retiring, and can't imagine that I'd ever want to 'retire' in the traditional sense of the word.

I don't do housework because I enjoy it or am too much of an intellectual desert to think of anything else. I can think of more stimulating and lucrative things to do with my time, but it has to be done by someone round here or we'd all drown in the mess.

Well MP, personally I find it very sad that you don't think that there's more to life than doing paid work

Lima: I don't mean to imply that. At the moment, I don't have much choice. Having said that, I really love my work! But if I did have a choice (and didn't have work I enjoyed), I would rather do research or voluntary work than housework!

Some days I drop ds2 at nursery and come home and I am 'lazy'. Today for example - I'm here aren't I ? Other days I run round like a blue-bottomed (oh I am so good at the not swearing now) fly.

Having been a SAHM for 8 years now, 24/7, day in day out, though I feel entitled to have a bit of "time out". I don't get days off, or holidays, and I'm 'on call' 100% of the time and have been since ds1 was born. Everyone deserves a bit of 'me' time.

If dh does resent it, he doesn't say so - I don't believe he has a death wish.

so does everyone tinygang even those that work. I just can't imagine only doing that (or other child/house related things).
having loads of money so you can do whatever you like for you is different IMO.

Well, when you retire you are normally old and tired and ready to give up work so slightly different. I am certainly not saving for early retirement either. I love working. I agree with you mp. I don't think of these women as lazy, but think it sounds dull and I think most of my friends and DH would find me dull if I spent my days in the house doing housework and having tea/tv-breaks. That would worry me.

no one gets holidays from being a parent surely. Doesn't matter whether you're a SAHM or work full time.