What do you think about "not doing anything" when children are at school/nursery?

[morningpaper]

My daughter's peers are starting nurseries ... and I'm finding myself really SHOCKED at the fact that my mummy-friends aren't doing anything with their time while their children are out of the home. I asked a friend last week what she did and she said "Oh I just get home, tidy up a bit, have a coffee - and then I have to pick him up again!"

As I work from home there is ALWAYS some work I can do. I also do voluntary work and could always do with more time to get stuff done.

I also don't understand why their partners are happy with them just taking 'mornings off' to themselves - aren't they a bit miffed?

I'm probably just jealous but I can't help but think that they are just plain lazy! What do other people feel about this?!

[marthamoo]

katierocket, I could easily shop 24/7 for the next forty years - just couldn't fund it!

[elliott]

i would rather do almost anythign than housework. That's partly why I don't want to end up with lots of time to myself during the day - because I would end up feeling obliged to take on more than my share of domestic drudge. I find going out to work is a great way to minimise housework - or what was it, 'prioritise' as someone said earlier!

[marthamoo]

kr, didn't mean to imply that working parents are somehow less entitled to a break than SAHPs. If I was working full time, and had couple of hours off when my child was in nursery, I certainly wouldn't spend that time doing housework!

[SaintGeorge]

"..when you retire you are normally old and tired"

Can't wait for Joolstoo's reaction to that one

[ninah]

Flum I used to do that! made the sad mistake of giving up the commute for a local job though
Miss those cappuccino's ..

[MarsLady]

Just read original post and have to say that I don't know about those women but I'm opting for the lazy option myself. Wouldn't quite call it lazy more a reward for my years of great service and the fact that the kids are going to need me for years to come, well that justifies the whole sitting at home with a cuppa to me. Of course I won't sit at home. Oh no! My cuppa will be out at a restaurant somewhere at the end of my lovely meal with wine. My days will be filled with catching up with all those friends that I couldn't catch up with before (because of kids), going to galleries (cos I miss that) and generally having a good time on my own in peace and quiet. But fret not, I'll load the washing machine before I go

[Flum]

Yeah I moan about the commute but when I am at home I just don't get that much quiet 'reading' time. spose you have to make it. praps am just being lazy and should use the commute to catch up on some domestic admin

[marthamoo]

MarsLady, you are a woman after my own heart.

[MarsLady]

marthamoo would you like to join me when I get to my childfree (well until 3)days?

[Caligula]

Er - "get home, tidy up a bit, have coffee" - so in fact, she does a morning's work and then takes a break. Tidying up a bit does take all morning, if your kids are like mine and leave it like a bombsite. And tidying up is not my idea of doing "nothing".

Jesus, MP, you sound like a man.

[marthamoo]

Wine and art galleries sounds pretty good to me...

[TinyGang]

Ohh, me too marthamoo and MarsLady. My idea of bliss!

[MarsLady]

blimey, may have to put a strict limit on this or I'll never get my peace and quiet lol

[toomanypushchairs]

quickly tried to read through all this, so sorry if i missed something. I can't wait till my two are at playgroup in september. financially I really need to do something but they are only going for 2 mornings so i'll have to wait until they go all week. But I will sit at home and do nothing until then. as kelly1978 said her partner gets a lunch hour everyday! my dh gets lunch hour, gets to sit on the train for 2hrs reading the paper. Oh, to be able to read the paper in peace, or eat my lunch without someone wanting a bite, or wanting something else for their plate...... I'll dream on........

[ninah]

flum don't even think about it
commute is for coffee and papers on a good day, snoring and dribbling on a bad day. It's a well kept secret that it's great free time, you're meant to moan about it! oh, terrible journey, signals failed at Bethnal Green etc etc (so time for another couple of chapters then PLUS sympathy)
Now I'm local I get up at 6.30 anyway to get ds ready and sometimes if the traffic is bad it takes ages to get just down the road, I have to stay awake all the time cos I'm driving, obviously ... this is a bit off topic, it's just that your description reminded me so much of how life used to be, the West End mooching etc
To answer the original question, I think doing nothing's bloody great and if you have to wait til the children are out, then sobeit

[purpleturtle]

I get 2.5 hours a week child-free in term time. I spend them trying to make myself useful in an office at church. I love it. I'd do more, if it weren't costing me about £7.50 a throw to do voluntary work! I imagine once I've got them both off my hands a bit more I'll have a morning or two to 'not do anything' as well though.

[WideWebWitch]

I haven't read the thread but tbh I'd do the same, laze about a bit, read the paper, I wouldn't do ANY housework (just as I'm not now while dd sleeps! This is my time, my lunchhour). So what? I've worked jolly hard over the past years and years of being a sahm (6am or 5.30am until 7.30pm even with dp here for the first and last hours of the day - that's a looooong day!) so if I got the odd couple of hours to myself while a child was at nursery it would be totally fair enough IMO.

[morningpaper]

Caligula: Housework expands to take up ANY spare time. People who work fit in housework too! Filling 'spare time' with housework seems to me to be the worst of all worlds.

As I say, I'm just trying to provoke a discussion, keep personal abuse to a minimum pls.

[MarsLady]

Once I get back from my lazy day I would imagine it would return to this:

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm tired, and it's getting

late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.
Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper
the
following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar
container, put
spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the
next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into
the
washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the
game
pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the
telephonebook into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a
wastebasket and hung
up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for thebedroom.
Stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some
cash
for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the
chair.
She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the
envelope
and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her
purse. Mum
then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night Solution &
age
fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her Teeth and filed her nails.
Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."
"I'm on my way," she said.
She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made
sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on. She looked in on
each of
the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt,
threw
some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the
one up still doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day,
straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most
important
things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the
accomplishment of
her goals.
About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in
particular. "I'm going to bed."
And he did... without another thought.
Anything extraordinary here?
Wonder why women live longer...?
CAUSE WE ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL....
(and we can't die sooner, we still have things to do!!!!)

[weary grin]

[morningpaper]

Marslady: I agree, if your husband/partner isn't doing his share, then sure, spend some time on yourself.

Do you think that those who choose to 'do nothing' in their child-free time DO have less equal relationships?

[SoupDragon]

Show me one of these "mums-who-do-nothing" and I@ll show you an imaginary person.

[ninah]

maybe they just like free time mp!

[Caligula]

Er - what is your definition of spare time? Why is the daytime spare, as opposed to housework time? And I disagree housework expands to fit the time available - when I feel I've "done" mine, I certainly don't expand it, I either watch a video i've been meaning to for ages or I read (or of course, I spend it on Mumsnet, but I'm beginning to think of that as not being spare time - just an insane imperative.) I don't see why I should do something improving with the tiny bit of spare time I have.

[SoupDragon]

Curious: Do all mothers who go out to work slump on the sofa in the evening when the children are in bed?

[oliveoil]

Yes