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Original poster

What do you think about "not doing anything" when children are at school/nursery?

661 replies

morningpaper · 19/05/2005 12:04

My daughter's peers are starting nurseries ... and I'm finding myself really SHOCKED at the fact that my mummy-friends aren't doing anything with their time while their children are out of the home. I asked a friend last week what she did and she said "Oh I just get home, tidy up a bit, have a coffee - and then I have to pick him up again!"

As I work from home there is ALWAYS some work I can do. I also do voluntary work and could always do with more time to get stuff done.

I also don't understand why their partners are happy with them just taking 'mornings off' to themselves - aren't they a bit miffed?

I'm probably just jealous but I can't help but think that they are just plain lazy! What do other people feel about this?!

OP posts:
katierocket · 19/05/2005 12:16

that should read "that was not motivated by financial necessity"

Original poster
morningpaper · 19/05/2005 12:16

lima: It was your post on the other thread that reminded me I had wanted to post this for a while. Your "mornings at the gym" and "drinking coffee" sound marvellous.

Maybe I'm just jealous of people who can AFFORD to live like that? Yes a morning off here and there would be nice, but I do think I would find it unbearably dull to do nothing EVERY single day.

"Plain lazy" - I think that's my honest feeling Soupy! Perhaps it's me hard-working-class background...

OP posts:
Fio2 · 19/05/2005 12:16

oh it does and the satisfaction is wonderful

elliott · 19/05/2005 12:17

btw I'm really talking about when kids are in full time school - totally agree that when they're just off to nursery for a couple of hours I would do the same without any guilt whatsoever- get home, do a few chores, have a cup of tea and read the paper

Flum · 19/05/2005 12:17

I get my mum to take baby for a morning so I can 'get things done' - which is. Ermm, curling up reading novels usually. lovely.

lima · 19/05/2005 12:17

I think you are all jealous of my lifestyle

Fio2 · 19/05/2005 12:17

sorry i am working class and so is my mother and hers, we all stayed at home til kids started school, then it was only part time

lou33 · 19/05/2005 12:18

suuzywong, why are you posting the same thing on diff threads? Are you the original wong or someone using her name?

Flum · 19/05/2005 12:19

My MIL had two kids sent them both to boarding school from age 7. She plays a bit of bridge. She is not lazy though. Just lucky I guess.

Flum · 19/05/2005 12:19

Its not suzywong i don;t htink. but she does say that alot

Easy · 19/05/2005 12:20

Well I'm sorry MP, but you sound so (swearword) self-righteous.

No they are NOT lazy. They are keeping themselves sane, calm and (hopefully) happy. O.K. it suits you to rush around, always having too much to do. I'm living like you do ATM, with things stacked up to do (shouldn't be on here actually), but yearning to get my work backlog dealt with, so that I can actually do something like read the paper (I haven't read one of this weeks yet), do some embroidery, be the Me I was before I became a mummy for a little while.

And anyway, what's so criminal about being lazy sometimes.

You've made me quite cross actually.

Right, back to my spreadsheets.

Original poster
morningpaper · 19/05/2005 12:21

Lima: Yes I am jealous of your lifestyle!

I also feel like Katierocket that I would love to have the luxury of spending my time with things that weren't motivated by financial necessity.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 19/05/2005 12:21

Sounds brill to me! DH is a SAHD. He kicks about for the hour and a half DD naps. Good for him! I'm not at all miffed. If I had to look after a little kid all the time, I'd relish some downtime as well.

lima · 19/05/2005 12:21

But seriously - I am an older mum, so have had a demanding 20 year career, amd financially secure and don't need to work, so why should I continue to stress myself up trying to 'do it all' as a working mum.

pleaserewind · 19/05/2005 12:21

my kids are both at school, i don't work and i certainly don't spend my time doing nothing!
Yes, i do sit down sometimes and have a coffee or look at mumsnet but most of the time i am doing the housework,the shoppping, preparing nutritious meals and any errands or tasks that dh or the boys need me to do.
dh works 11 hours a day but i do all the washing, ironing, shopping, cooking, cleaning,mending, help with homework etc etc. I must admit in theory it sounds like a lot of free time but in practice it's not.
Today i have walked the boys to school, walked to the supermarket and done the weekly shop, come home and put it all away, eaten my lunch, quick look at mumsnet and now i'm off to tidy up, do some ironing, prepare a casserole for tea and then i'll be walking back to school again.
I find that when dh gets home from work and gets to sit down, i am still running around!
I do take my hat off to those who do everything AND work, i can only assume you must have to prioritize.

soapbox · 19/05/2005 12:21

Flashingnose - the only mother who listens to the children read in my childrens class is muggins here

On my 1/2 day a week off of work - just about enough time to fit in the food shopping before picking them up again.

None of the SAHMs have time, so they say

I'm a bit like Morningpaper - think I'd go out of my mind if I was at home alone all day!

But then I do have a cleaner - no desire whatsoever to be doing that

oliveoil · 19/05/2005 12:22

Good god there are a lot of self rightous people about 'no voluntary work? Sniff. YOU HAVE A COFFEE?'

What's wrong with lazing around?

Pah.

snafu · 19/05/2005 12:22

Lazy? Lazy?? I'll have you know, mp, that it takes enormous amounts out of me to sit here typing on Mumsnet all day long.

SoupDragon · 19/05/2005 12:22

I'm so p*ssed off I can't post anything coherent.

coppertop · 19/05/2005 12:23

I'm another one who is obviously "plain lazy". Ds1 is at school all day. Twice a week ds2 goes to a playgroup. This leaves me with a whole hour to myself. After staying awake until 1am while ds2 is still bouncing off the walls and then waking up again at 5am to see to ds1 the idea of an hour to myself drinking coffee and maybe reading a newspaper is bliss. No, I won't be dashing across town to go to the gym, go to work or do a college course.

wordgirl · 19/05/2005 12:23

I look on it as my "reward" for never being able to "do nothing" for all those years before they started nursery/school!
The only problem is I do feel obliged to do a bit of housework now and then as I have no real excuse not to

Fio2 · 19/05/2005 12:23

different strokes for different folks

would be boring if we were all the same

the end

lima · 19/05/2005 12:23

come and have a coffee round mine SoupDragon

oliveoil · 19/05/2005 12:24

I'm too thick being lazy to post any thing coherent.

crunchie · 19/05/2005 12:24

I would LOVE that scenario. Like you say 2.5 hrs is not that much time after getting home and leaving again it is about 2 hrs. I would do housework, maybe go to the gym etc. or more likely I would be on MN every day (as I am now at work!!) and probably do shag all TBH Why the heck would they feel guilty??

My dh does this at the mo, only my two are in school/preschool so he drops off by 9.15 and picks up at 3. He has 4 days a week like this. At the momenet he gets home, has breakfast, he is busy decorating our dd's room, he takes the dog for a walk, goes to the gym a couple of times a week, he is writing a play for his drama coaching group. He also has to do the supermarket shop, the housework (badly I have to say) and other various things. Basically he is busy and I don't feel he is being particularly 'lazy' becasue he is not working. We have worked out to be cost effective for him to work he HAS to earn £20K a year, he can't get a full time job paying this - he is an actor, so he stays at home.

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