What do you think about "not doing anything" when children are at school/nursery?

[morningpaper]

My daughter's peers are starting nurseries ... and I'm finding myself really SHOCKED at the fact that my mummy-friends aren't doing anything with their time while their children are out of the home. I asked a friend last week what she did and she said "Oh I just get home, tidy up a bit, have a coffee - and then I have to pick him up again!"

As I work from home there is ALWAYS some work I can do. I also do voluntary work and could always do with more time to get stuff done.

I also don't understand why their partners are happy with them just taking 'mornings off' to themselves - aren't they a bit miffed?

I'm probably just jealous but I can't help but think that they are just plain lazy! What do other people feel about this?!

[katierocket]

there is a big difference between having small kids who are out for half the day or a couple of hours or whatever and having all children at school full time. It's the latter case that I find odd, in terms of only doing house stuff or child stuff or 'nothing' I mean.

[morningpaper]

Caligula you ARE making it sound like you have one hand permanently on the iron...

I didn't start this thread to criticise other women. I am genuinely curious about how women fill their time when their children aren't at home, and what their partners feel about that. It's not something I can understand doing/wanting to do.

I have to use provocative language or you'll all abandon me for the cheese thread...

[Flum]

Just FWIW I don't think SAHM lazy at all. I've done both outside work and SAHM and each are their own kind of grind.

Will be SAHM this summer for a few months, hope to enjoy it!

[flashingnose]

Why don't you just ask them?

[Marina]

Hear hear Caligula. Education for everyone to the level that suits them is a cornerstone of a civilised society, not a moral obligation to be wage-earning thereafter.

[SoupDragon]

Excuse me? You didn't start the thread to criticise other women? "I can't help but think that they are just plain lazy!" Isn't that criticising them??

[victoriapeckham]

Not a wage slave, but to contribute to society in some way other than plumping cushions and flicking through magazines.

[morningpaper]

But Soupy if I'd said "Hello ladies, what do you do all day?" it would have been dull.

[morningpaper]

... and I'm still not wholly convinced that my friends who's kiddies are now in nursery from 9-3 aren't just a tad ... unimaginative ...

[WideWebWitch]

Gosh, ok, have read thread now. MP, that'll be your work ethic kicking in I reckon. I bet most sahps with children at school work darn hard (see, I can do not swearing too marthamoo, and I said 'jolly' earlier instead of swearing!), as someone said. If you do as the govt wants and walk them to school, there's 2 hours gone out of your 6 hour school day - it is for me anyway. If you're then responsible for all the washing, shopping, cooking and cleaning and if you have children, maybe 2 or 3, it takes time. My dh does 50% when he's here and I still think I deserve to be on mumsnet over my lunch hour when dd's asleep. And I think I deserve to have 15 mins to myself when he gets in and takes over. So does he. But in our house we totally agree that paid work outside the home is the easier option so that old argument just doesn't happen (I'm NOT saying this is true for everyone btw, just that we think it's true FOR US).

pmsl at Fio2 and her 'shit in peace,' at Marthamoo's dh's non death wish and suuzywong, har har, you wait til the real suzywong sees that, but v funny!

[lima]

Well i'm back to teh fray now, having typed my PTA minutes - SouDragon you have just described my life. Great isn't it?

[Marina]

You obviously move in some dodgy circles then vp because most of the SAHMs I know contribute hugely to society through voluntary work at school or through their church, look after elderly neighbours or parents, or even help their WOTH friends out in childcare crises.
Unless of course you read about these wastrels in some silly Polly Filler like non-article for one of the papers. Now that sort of auto-pilot journalism really is a waste of an education IMO.

[Flum]

But you are all acting as if being lazy is a negative thing. How can that be. It is far more admirable and difficult to be lazy in our society where people are constantly busy and achieving things.

[flashingnose]

Well said marina

[Ulysees]

Oh I forgot I help out with other peoples kids too. I offered to get my mate's DS and keep him until 7ish as mate is ill [angel emoticon] Plus I do Sunday school.

Blimey it's a wonder I can put one foot in front of the other?

[WideWebWitch]

VP, so being a sahm and doing all the associated running about and picking up and dental appointments and blah blah for a family isn't contributing to society?

[Enid]

marina

[lima]

I was a WOTHM for 4 years and a SAHM for 2 and I much prefer the quality of life for all our family that comes with SAHM.

I can't even be ar$ed to defend my choice as there are too many ludicrous, ill-informed views being expressed.

[Caligula]

Describing home-making as plumping cushions and flicking through magazines is quite simply denigrating the work of SAHMs. I flicked through a lot more mags when i was working full time, than I did when I was a SAHM. Your post VP, implies that being a SAHM is not contributing to society.

[WideWebWitch]

Ah Marina, you said it much better than I did! Polly Bloody Filler articles piss me off too. Oh I was doing so well on the non swearing front.

[WideWebWitch]

(Where's the cheese thread btw?)

[Caligula]

I think it's quite acceptable to let rip with all the swear words you can muster on this thread www.

[elliott]

But www, it IS possible to do the shopping, washing and cooking without needing 5 six hour days to do it in. I think MP's question is an interesting one - and I think it is directed towards people who have the whole school week available to them, rather than those with the odd couple of hours at playgroup here and there.

[Marina]

Right again Caligula. The biggest vacant mag-flicker I know of is a WOTH journalist - I believe her actual job is Overpriced Fripperies Assistant for the Tatler.

[Enid]

I work part time and still manage to have a house as tidy/or not as the SAHMS I know so...what do you do with your time