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Original poster

Are there a lot of nasty people about or is it just me that brings them out? and what should be done if anything?

184 replies

WideWebWitch · 27/03/2005 18:23

I feel like some kind of middle class reactionary (which I'm not, I'm a fairly hard core Guardianista) but I'd be interested in hearing what people think about this.

While walking along a quiet 30mph country lane with dp and 2 children this afternoon, a car came racing along doing at least 50mph. He was going so fast I immediately shoved ds into the hedge to make sure he wasn't hit. We were walking on the right side of the road on a pavementless road in single file, in daylight. At the same time I threw my hands up in a 'what do you think you're doing' way. The guy stopped about 100yds on, opened his door wide enough (but didn't get out) to scream at me 'Yes, I'm using the road and I pay fing taxes, so f off, you f*ing slag.' How sweet, and in front of my children too! So my questions are:

Have I been living in the countryside for too long if I think this is disgusting, unacceptable behaviour?
Is this why people keep their mouths shut and walk on by while tossers like this get away with abusive language and attitude? In general, I mean.
Why are people like this?
Are people more like this then they used to be? Why?
Should I keep my mouth shut at all times? (some of you may remember I was screamed at in the park recently for daring to ask a lone 7yo if he was ok)
Has this sort of thing happened to you or do you just not ever do things like throw your hands up in disgust (I realise it may be me!)

This completely spoiled our walk, any and all views on this, NOT just on my specific incident, welcome.

OP posts:
Original poster
WideWebWitch · 29/03/2005 22:42

like these rozzers here

OP posts:
SenoraPostrophe · 29/03/2005 22:47

I remember reading a letter to the Times from when the police force was introduced. It was along the lines of "the British people will never stand for being told what to do by some jumped up civilian in uniform..."

made me laugh.

don't know how to fix it, but suspect that pointy hatted rozzers won't do, i'm afraid.

piffle · 29/03/2005 22:50

I found that in order to exact appropriate justice, you kind of have to meter it yourself, while not strictly legislated, it can be, infinitely more satisfying in certain ways... and quicker than the court of law and the CPS...

paolosgirl · 29/03/2005 22:53

After all these awful stores , I wanted to share a nice one.
The other day I took the kids to the park...having a lovely time, when along came 2 teenage lads, complete with baseball hats, trackie bottoms and trainers. "Here we go" I thought, preparing for the bad language and yobbish behaviour from them. Instead, they sat quietly on the swings, had THE most boring conversation about a camping trip they were going on, and how they could buy equipment from a mail order company - with a 48hr delivery, mind - and then left. Bless 'em...

paolosgirl · 29/03/2005 22:54

stories even...

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 29/03/2005 23:01

Senora, I know, rozzers won't do it
Paolosgirl, that's a nice story. I try not to make assumptions about people, I really do. When parent from hell came up to me and said aggressively 'you the woman who talked to my step son on Monday?' I replied in interested polite voice 'oh yes, I am, is he ok?' - it just didn't occur to me he was about to bollock me, quite frankly.

OP posts:
hub2dee · 30/03/2005 10:25

Interesting....

if on the one hand we have perfectly sweet teenagers discussing two-man tents, and on the other hand rowdy nasty ones shooting people with paintballs, or boozing in the playground (IIRC they were OK, actually, but humour me for a moment)...

And we presume the demographic characteristics of the areas concerned were vaguely similar...

Is the only conclusion that it's ALL DOWN TO THE PARENTS ?

flashingnose · 30/03/2005 10:45

The thing I can't cope with is aggression - it's everywhere. One guy nearly mowed us down when we were halfway across a zebra crossing - I said "Mind out!", he replied "F*k off you c*t". Now even if he thinks he's not in the wrong, how on earth is that a reasonable response?

Most days I encounter aggressive people (and there are plenty on MN too) and some days I go home and cry - I'm just not tough enough .

suzywong · 30/03/2005 10:48

that's awful, but you just have to be the first one in there with the FC in situations like that, because if the driver has driven on to the crossing when you are on it then he is, with out doubt a FC in the first place.

hub2dee · 30/03/2005 10:59

I understand, suzywong, and simultaneously agree and disagree.

If the 'nice' people behave like the 'nasty' people, then that reinforces the social acceptability of behaving, and speaking like an ass.

But if the 'nice' people don't scream back 'F off you small dcked poor excuse for a man...you little selfish fckwit' - does nasty man continue to think that (a) he rules the world (b) he got away with it and (c) everyone is scared of him and that everyone else outside his universe is scum....

Maybe we need to interview some asses to find out exactly how they think ? (or, ahem, fail to think)

flashingnose - FWIW, I feel many people, of both sexes, are as sensitive as you. If it's not in our make up to be 'nasty,' the experience of such behaviour is deeply upsettng... not only for the experience dished out upon us, but for the sad ruminations we feel afterwards pondering what kind of horrible childhood / adult life / f*cked up emotional world that person exists in every minute of their life to make them so angry.

suzywong · 30/03/2005 11:10

yes, if you have a GSOH

flashingnose · 30/03/2005 11:13

hub2dee, can you just write all my posts for me please - you phrase things very well .

Pamina3 · 30/03/2005 11:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 30/03/2005 11:23

I agree Pamina, I don't want to be the aggressive person either, two wrongs don't make a right. But have we lost the ability to apologise, is that it? Esp people like zebra xing man, he was sooo wrong, couldn't he have just said 'sorry'?

OP posts:
Janos · 30/03/2005 11:24

II'm coming in late, but www just wanted to say how I am that you have to put up with such fould behaviour. It does seem to happen a lot more than when I was young - and I'm only 30.

It reminds me of an experience that left me a bit shake, some years ago I was walking home from my crappy call centre job in Newport and was passed by a young teenage boy on a bike. I smiled at him and said hello. His response 'F*k off you slg'

Not that it makes any difference, but i was wearing something like jeans and a baggy jumper.. WTF?

I agree with hub2dee..this sort of reaction is more upsetting if it's not the kind of thing you would do yourself.

Janos · 30/03/2005 11:25

Oh dear I can't type today...I meant to say foul behaviour.

Keane · 30/03/2005 11:26

SOME workmen stopped and asked me directions to a road, so i explained and then i said "do you know you it is a one way street and you are going the wrong way?" and he said piss off

some people are just awful. my old neighbours used to F and blind at us in front of the kids, it was horrendous

flashingnose · 30/03/2005 11:26

But that's the thing www, no-one says sorry any more. And I don't know why (I fall into the camp who says sorry to the person who's just trodden on my foot though, so I am too far the other way )

Original poster
WideWebWitch · 30/03/2005 11:28

Janos, yes, I had cords and a fleece on on Sunday, and still got called a slag, I think the blokes in question probably use it interchangably with 'woman' if one of us says something they doesn't like. FRN, I say sorry if I bump into someone too.

OP posts:
Keane · 30/03/2005 11:28

funny enough a bloke came racing round the corner in his car ad nearly went into the side of ours. this chap got really aggressive with my husband and my husband said calmly "I am a police officer and if I was on duty....."

hehe, this chap just shut up and drove off

Keane · 30/03/2005 11:29

www, apart from anything else if you are down a country lane with your children it is intimidating to have a car stop like that and someone start shouting at you

Janos · 30/03/2005 11:30

I've got so many examples of when I've been spoken to in this way, it's quite depressing. What on earth drives people to be so consistently unpleasant to prefect strangers?

In my experience it's mainly come from men...not saying they have a monopoly on aggressive behaviour.

hub2dee · 30/03/2005 11:38

Erm.... Pamina3... "I see your point, Hub2Dee, but sometimes you don't want to eff and blind at people in front of your own children (or at all...)
"

Just to clarify I was not advocating the verbose exchange I typed. That was sample text for suzywong.

Personally, I am more likely to hope some bad voodoo / cosmic karma takes care of them and that they hurt nobody else on the way out.

Oh yes... and nobody says 'thank you' anymore either. I'm always hearing that. How often do you pull over to let someone through a small gap, possibly waiting for several vehicles and get no acknowledgment ?

I press a magic button on my dashboard and this flame wielding spinny thing with a harpoon on the end and heat-seeking capabilities comes out and snarkles their vehicle into a 12 inch by 12 inch blob of steel.

flashingnose: I get enough grief spending too much time on MN just writing my posts... I couldn't possibly write anyone elses' !

Pamina3 · 30/03/2005 11:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jangly · 30/03/2005 11:44

Haven't read all this thread, but in reply to the original post - I think its quite possible that horrible man was on drugs. Its a sad fact, but I reckon its happening a lot these days, and tbh I think its safer to say nothing. Just hope it didn't spoil your day too much WWW, though I expect it did.