Are there a lot of nasty people about or is it just me that brings them out? and what should be done if anything?

[WideWebWitch]

I feel like some kind of middle class reactionary (which I'm not, I'm a fairly hard core Guardianista) but I'd be interested in hearing what people think about this.

While walking along a quiet 30mph country lane with dp and 2 children this afternoon, a car came racing along doing at least 50mph. He was going so fast I immediately shoved ds into the hedge to make sure he wasn't hit. We were walking on the right side of the road on a pavementless road in single file, in daylight. At the same time I threw my hands up in a 'what do you think you're doing' way. The guy stopped about 100yds on, opened his door wide enough (but didn't get out) to scream at me 'Yes, I'm using the road and I pay fing taxes, so f off, you f*ing slag.' How sweet, and in front of my children too! So my questions are:

Have I been living in the countryside for too long if I think this is disgusting, unacceptable behaviour?
Is this why people keep their mouths shut and walk on by while tossers like this get away with abusive language and attitude? In general, I mean.
Why are people like this?
Are people more like this then they used to be? Why?
Should I keep my mouth shut at all times? (some of you may remember I was screamed at in the park recently for daring to ask a lone 7yo if he was ok)
Has this sort of thing happened to you or do you just not ever do things like throw your hands up in disgust (I realise it may be me!)

This completely spoiled our walk, any and all views on this, NOT just on my specific incident, welcome.

less drastic but same thing happened to me - a motorbike shot past our house as we were going out one day, by the time I walked round the corner onto the main road he was sitting on the pavement and his bike was in pieces. Thankfully I think he learned his lesson with just a few bruises and possibly a broken bone.

WWW - you should pity him - he is obviously a balanced individual, with a chip on each shoulder and a willy resembling a chipolata - and was probably bog-ugly to boot.

Seriously though - this kind of behaviour is sooo depressing.

Sobernow, I completely agree about gun laws. I walked away thinking 'if we had guns in this country he'd have pulled a gun on me and then I'd have pulled one back and someone, at least one of us probably, might have died and I was even imagining the headlines 'It all started with a country walk. This 38yo mother of two blah blah blah until she was gunned down, a victim of out of control road rage blah blah' sad huh, but ykwim I hope. And I'm not proud of my own anger either, I'm really not, I had revenge fantasies for a moment there. Dp said 'those are the kind of men who kill themselves driving.'

Are we (some of us anyway) turning into mad old bags who can't keep quiet and swing our handbags whenever necessary? You know, the type of middle aged women we never thought we'd be? Hmm.

oh you are not alone, people are so rude. there is just no need for it.

a few weeks ago ds and i were waiting to cross the road(at the little green man) and a bloke drove onto the pavement, nearly hit us and then glared at me out of the window as he drove away!!

Dunno 'bout you www, but I always KNEW I'd be the mad old bat I am!

I think a lot of it is to do with mysogyny. The idea that someone who is supposed to be invisible (any woman over 25) actually goes into his brainspace, is too much for some men. Also, they do know they're in the wrong, which makes them extra aggressive.

I've had masses of this kind of incident - in which, btw, I invariably threaten to call the police, which normally has an instantly calming effect - but it's almost always with men, very rarely with women. And when necessary, I do. You?d be amazed by how tolerant the police are of us mad old biddies who phone them at the first sign of bad language! For future reference, it is actually some kind of offence to say the F or the C word in public hearing, so take the guy's number and report him. At the very least, he'll get the nasty shock and humiliation of the police turning up on his doorstep and asking him about the incident - you'd be amazed, but they really do follow these things up. (A couple of friends of mine are members of her maj's constabulary, which is why I know this - she issues "words of guidance" to yobbos - and her a chit of a girl!)

It's not just women who feel disgusted by this sort of thing, I can assure you.

And it's not just countryside.

I'd been contemplating starting a thread 'Have London drivers gone totally insane ?' as, almost without fail, I'll find some weird incident of (a) incredibly bad / dangerous driving (b) road rage within about 2 minutes of leaving the house, and we live in a quiet middle class area.

The aggressiveness I witness in what are, I presume, pretty normal people, indicate to me the incredible level of stress in people's lives and how life in London has become a game of survival - rather than 'growth' IYSWIM...

The weather in the UK makes me absolutely (more so than dw who is not that bothered) and we've been thinking of Australia, NZ, Canada, California etc. to find something warmer / drier / or with access to Winter sports so the cold winter actually serves a purpose .

I'm reaching the conclusion though, that although the weather is one important aspect, perhaps the most important (and the most elusive ?) is the friendliness and lack of violence in a given society.

When I witness the sort of levels of aggression we're talking about, day in, day out, when oiks get out of cars / swear blue murder at you / try and start fights and generally deal with their psychological states through external expression rather than internal contemplation I just want to pack up my bags and go.

Hub2dee, that's interesting and awful. Do you think moving somewhere else will mean you avoid this? Do other countries have this level of rage?

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Cod, don't people get parking rage where you are? (so I hear)

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I imagine Sweden or Iceland would be calmer than California or Oz!

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pmsl at most depressed or in log cabins. Or both?

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I expect the depressed ones drive around really slowly though.

People in my road get reverse rage. It really ought to be one way, as it is so narrow that if someone goes on to the road when someone else is already on it, the second driver has to reverse all the way back as there is nowhere to pull in. There are always massive stand-offs, with people swearing at each other.

One night, a young woman had a stand off with a taxi driver - she just turned her engine off and made it very clear that she was in no hurry and wasn't going to move, even though she would only have to go back three car spaces - but she had been the first one on the road, so she wasn't going to give way. He effed and blinded at her, and accused her of not having enough sex, to which she responded "I get more than I want, fanx" and stood her ground. In the end, he just had to reverse back, because his passenger told him that if he didn't, he'd get out and call another cab. It was a glorious moment in our street!

not california hub2dee, at least not southern - people out there have been driving along and had guns pulled on them - without bothering to pull over. My sister has some incredible driving stories.

But one or 2 are dead funny. Like the one where she looked over at 70 miles an hr to see a man looking at her while giving a blwjb to a banana. She pointed at her crotch, then to him, then showed the size of a cocktail sausage between her index finger and thumb. He got the message and sped off.

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Apparantly lots of Finns are alcoholics.

Nothing else to do.

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In summer - feed the elks.

I'm really sorry you had this crappy incident - but in answer to your general question, I very rarely encounter anything unpleasant like this....

Not sure why....

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Hang on, coddy - aren't you the Finland expert?