HELP! People who have moved to the country from London I need your advice (long, sorry)...

[CountessDracula]

Am having a mare

We live in London currently in a lovely house in v nice area (which we are just finishing doing up) with lots of friends, great primary schools, dd just settled in brilliant nursery, easy journey to work etc...

AND NOW....dh has been offered an excellent job in Winchester. I grew up there and am tbh not overly keen on going back, though if I look at it objectively I can see the benefits (near parents, bigger house with garden 10 x size of current one, no planes, traffic etc, dh will have much chiller lifestyle, we will get to do country things (whatever those are, stumbling around in shite IME))

BUT... I love living in London. I have lived here for 20 years, I love it. When I go to the country I go bonkers. Everything is so slow and annoying. The shops are crap. The food is awful and even nice restaurants give you bloody baby corn and mange tout with everything. Culture is non-existant (I love theatre, opera, gigs etc and go a lot). I will miss all my friends. Plus I will have to commute 4 days a week and it would add at least 40 mins each way onto my journey, but not sure I would really mind that as could sleep in the morning and work in the evening (or drink v&t lol!) I would still see dd in the evenings.

My question is, once I am there, would I chill out and stop being such an arsehole about all this or am I doomed to a life of dissatisfaction and woe? I don't want to go if so!

Other downsides - the schools are nowhere near as good, would have to pay for private in all probablility. There is nothing to do as a teenager but get pissed and take drugs. There is NO WAITROSE (ok that is my main problem I admit )

I really really want to do this for dh. He reckons he has no prospects in London. This firm tried to get him twice already and he turned them down (about 3 years ago). They are, for them, offering him the earth. He will take a paycut but will have much better prospects and life. I want to make him happy but I don't want to make myself miserable in the process.

WHAT DO I DO?

Alicatsq, if you remember the punks in about 1978 around the Buttercross, one was my bro and he was often accompanied by his little sis.

How well do you get on with your parents? How "hands on" are they as grandparents?

No offence CD, but I hope you don't remember me from Symonds. I was even more miserable there then than I am now!!!

If you remember them around 86 one of them was me!

I give up - you can't be helped!

Go stay in your metropolitan idyll where violent crime rarely happens , and polluted air is unheard of

Lonelymum

Lol at your gallows humour!

Oooh my brother was one too (he now has dreads that he can sit on, never got rid of them lol!)

We used to hang out on the buttercross all the time... I was v norty for a while and in with all the punks

No by 1986 I was busy being miserable in Bath as a student! My life is one long string of mieries!

flasingnose my parents are great, v hands on, dh and I get on v well with them and they would help out loads. It would be better all round for dd.

I think you have to do the buttercross rite of passage if you grow up in Winch.

That and a summer job at the bulb farm!

Miseries I mean. Well well CD isn't it a small world? I bet if you and I started trading names right now it wouldn't take long to find we have someone in common.

OH GOD I was sacked from the bulb farm numerous times (usually for laughing at that fat rude twat who ran it!)

Lonelymum your name doesn't begin with E does it?

In that case, I would say definitely go for it. The benefits for your dd as she gets older will outweigh the lack of culture on your doorstep IMO.

Bulb farm? I missed that. More an office junior girl me. And a long unforgettable stint washing up vats at Winchester college. YUK!

CD - I think it's been said before but if you could commute back for your job could DH not be a sort of reverse-commuter for his?

Job aside, how does he feel about the London life?

All sympathy - I think it is a very difficult dilemma

Ah winchester college. god those boys thought they were it.

where's grange park? I've gone blank.

CD no name doesn't begin with e. Phew!

You could probably buy a mansion in Winchester
NO SIMILAR PRICES TO HERE AROUND THE STATION
You could cook a lot more as the restaurants will be so crap
EXCEPT I WOULD BE ON THE TRAIN ALL THE TIME!
You could go and see regular performances of 'Excuse me, those are my pyjamas!'
OH, GREAT, THANKS
Great dog walking
I LIVE RIGHT NEXT TO RICHMOND PARK, MUCH BETTER THAN THE COUNTRY FOR DOG WALKING AS NO SHEEP OR BITEY COUNTRY DOGS.
You can keep hens
SHUDDER
Isn't it by the sea? Sea walks.
NO
Isn't another Mumsnetter of like mind to you moving there v soon?
REALLY? WHO? TELL ME MORE...

On the bad side:

You'll pine for London and all those theatres and cinemas you never went to
YEAH BUT I'VE BEEN TO LOTS ALREADY AND COULD CONTINUE...
You'll have to pay for private ed but I bet there would be some schools that cost less than 4k a term.
HMMMM

Dd will be able to discover London 'for herself' when older.
WITH HER DRUGGY MATES, OH GREAT [GRIN]
Ummm I think you should go down there asap for a weekend. Just see how it feels. If you find a house you fall in love with then surely....?
I GO THERE REGULARLY FOR WEEKENDS....

Lol lol at 'walking around in shite' snort

not sure if anyone else has mentioned - there is a Waitrose in C/Ford now - so only 10 mins down the m'way. There are a couple of familys in my DD class who have moved down from London to Winchester and one in particular still find it hard for a lot of the reasons you mention.

KS that house looks fine but is in reality very noisy from M3/A34. Also too expensive.

Its half an hour drive from the sea CD - blimey you Londoners are spoilt expecting everything to be 5 minutes away

I think you should stay in London - you sound too anti to make Winchester work and it would drive you mad

ooh tell me more lucysmum! I did know about the C Ford waitrose, my parents go there, but here I can walk to it in 4 mins