HELP! People who have moved to the country from London I need your advice (long, sorry)...

[CountessDracula]

Am having a mare

We live in London currently in a lovely house in v nice area (which we are just finishing doing up) with lots of friends, great primary schools, dd just settled in brilliant nursery, easy journey to work etc...

AND NOW....dh has been offered an excellent job in Winchester. I grew up there and am tbh not overly keen on going back, though if I look at it objectively I can see the benefits (near parents, bigger house with garden 10 x size of current one, no planes, traffic etc, dh will have much chiller lifestyle, we will get to do country things (whatever those are, stumbling around in shite IME))

BUT... I love living in London. I have lived here for 20 years, I love it. When I go to the country I go bonkers. Everything is so slow and annoying. The shops are crap. The food is awful and even nice restaurants give you bloody baby corn and mange tout with everything. Culture is non-existant (I love theatre, opera, gigs etc and go a lot). I will miss all my friends. Plus I will have to commute 4 days a week and it would add at least 40 mins each way onto my journey, but not sure I would really mind that as could sleep in the morning and work in the evening (or drink v&t lol!) I would still see dd in the evenings.

My question is, once I am there, would I chill out and stop being such an arsehole about all this or am I doomed to a life of dissatisfaction and woe? I don't want to go if so!

Other downsides - the schools are nowhere near as good, would have to pay for private in all probablility. There is nothing to do as a teenager but get pissed and take drugs. There is NO WAITROSE (ok that is my main problem I admit )

I really really want to do this for dh. He reckons he has no prospects in London. This firm tried to get him twice already and he turned them down (about 3 years ago). They are, for them, offering him the earth. He will take a paycut but will have much better prospects and life. I want to make him happy but I don't want to make myself miserable in the process.

WHAT DO I DO?

Don't think they have an option as I am born and bred

LOL @ Richmond Cemetary, very good!

Hrmm. If you do the whole country thing, be prepared to drive everywhere - don't know if that's been mentioned as I've just skimmed this thread. We did the move into deepest darkest countryside last year and I am rounder than ever due to excessive cake consumption and the fact that there aren't any pavements around here. I had visions of lovely rural strolls but the lorries hurtle along at terrifying speeds and just crossing the village road to the lovely little village school is a nightmare. There are lots of pluses though, but I think it takes a good year or two to get used to the culture change. MK doesn't quite do it for me - good shops, but no atmosphere (even if we do have both M&S and Waitrose and soon an IKEA too )

Dunno, I moved out of London while I was feeling very anti it, (so I didn't have a London attitude) but the longer I stay here, the more I think I've moved to Royston Vasey. I don't regret it, it was impossible for me to stay in London and have suitable housing at the same time without working 60 hours a week and I only wanted to work 20, so I'm glad I did it - but Lor, the people round 'ere are odd.

OTOH, that could just be Strood. It was the cathedral across the water that swayed me (but Winchester's got one of those, hasn't it?)

Don't move, CD, you don't have to. If you change your mind, you can - I doubt if Winchester house prices will ever be higher than London ones. So if you and DH decide you want to in 2 years, you can. But just don't do it now, while you're feeling so ambivalent about it. Keep your options open. You can always move out of London to somewhere nicer. You may not be able to move back to London from somewhere muddy.

Responding to a couple of points - good wineshop recently opened in Twyford (Stone something, can't remember name). You can live outside Winchester (Hursley, Twyford - I've done both) and get to station in 10 mins if you are getting a train before 8, and you should still be able to park. But maybe too much green for you.

You have certainly got a lot of us thinking about this for you CD!

I can't believe you couldn't find people like yourself in Winchester. The place is crawling with escapees from the more refined parts of London. It is a lot more cosmopolitan than it was in the 70s and 80s! I suppose though that if they are willing escapees from London, they maybe wouldn't have as much in common with you as might first appear.

Have any decisions been made yet?

It certainly has LM and there have been some good points made in favour - am even starting to feel tempted myself

The country generally or Winch in particular? It is a beautiful city, but then I am biassed I suppose.

Glad it's not just me who's been mulling it over . FWIW CD, I think you should rent your house out and rent in Winchester and try it. You can always come back...

the whole country thing - though the proximity of Winchester to London adds to its appeal (couldn't move too far away ). We've just been looking for houses around SW London and seeing what we could get out there for the same money does make you think. I know someone will now right that house prices are not much different but I definitely think you would get more space and primarily outdoor space than here - atm our 'garden' is 15m2. But...like CD I would struggle to tear myself away from London and I don't think we would do it as me and DS (and D? on the way) would see much less of DH if he commuted into London and I would find that hard.

Well, have just had a long chat with pph about this. I am now wavering towards moving!

Think I could remain sane by working in London and regular nights in london at theatre etc.

Beety yes you can come house hunting!
Thanks Lucysmum for info re station and wineshop

Oooh exciting news. I am wildly

Cd, I've only skimmed the thread so sorry if repeat anyone. As you know I moved from London to Devon and we're now in Bristol. I've lived in Salisbury, which isn't dissimilar to Winchester, so have some experience of that too. I don't think I could go back to Salisbury (nothing wrong with it before Cod has a go at me), it's just too small for me. Is there somewhere bigger than Winchester that's still near enough it for dh's commute? I can't think where though (London maybe? Har har) I agree about teenagers and drugs, that was my experience too. What is your main priority? For dh to be happy? For more time with dd? Another baby? To work flexible hours/stay where you are? Sorry if you've answered these questions, feel free to totally ignore me!

Funny enough, I shy away from big cities like London and Bristol because I imagine my children will be more likely to encounter the drugs culture there than in a smaller place!

I can understand why that would be your perception LM but do you really think that's true? Would be interesting to hear anyone's experience from smaller cities / towns / the country.

Nah, in the countryside where I lived in the 80s I could get my hands on any drugs you liked. And I was a 'nice' girl! It's a myth that city = drugs, countryside = none, definitely.

Sympathise with your plight CD. However why do you view a move from London to Winchester as a move to 'the country'? Isn't Winchester a city? Or is everywhere outside London 'the country'? Not trying to be controversial (well, perhaps a bit...), but I gues you could quite easily make your way round without the help of Hunters and a Barbour.

yeah but no Waitrose

(sorry, couldn't resist )

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Yes everything outside london is the country. You asks someone what they are up to for the weekend, they say going to the country and it turns out to be Manchester for eg. Just a turn of phrase.

It's such alovely day I am imagining gambolling in the water meadows with my family

Just a quick question to you country dwelling people - what do you do in the winter when it rains for day after day?

Now have hilarious vision of Cod sitting down to breafast with several junkies

You quaint Londoners!!

What do we do when it rains? Well we spread goosefat on our hessian sacks and sit under a nearby hayrick till it passes. (At least that's what Brummies do)

this winter was lovely actually cd, not much rain, cold and crisp and frosty. Went for walks, visited friends, cinema, had friends for tea.

I have just spent a couple of hours in the garden in very warm sunshine pottering about with dd2. Only sound a tractor ploughing the fields, lots of birdsong and dd2s incessant chatter. Sat in the garden with face turned to the sun and drank tea. I know I could do that in London but here I have no neighbours, look out over fields and hllls - sense of freedom and space that you just cannot get in London or the burbs (IMO everywhere that isnt London or very rural countryside).

what do you do in London when it rains?

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