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Original poster

Do you remember hurtful comments from your past?

141 replies

thedogmother · 03/03/2005 21:20

I remember when I was about 14, a boy told me I "had no neck". Well, I don't have a swan-like neck, granted, but this comment has never left me.

I also remember being v. proud of a new perm that I'd had (about 15/16) and was going out to a local disco with my cousin. There was a boy who lived near her who I quite liked, he was really nice and friendly, and I remember asking him if he liked my hair, and he said "yeh, it's alright at the front but the back is a right mess". Never forgotten that either.

Or the time that a girl I worked with said "xxx's eyebrows are like coat-hangers". Never forgotten that bitch either.

I'm sure there are more hurtful comments from years past that I will never forget. How about any of you?

OP posts:
moonshine · 04/03/2005 16:25

Can't believe (well yes I can I suppose) the amount of horrible comments about people's weight, especially from parents (and mine are no different even now). No wonder so many people have a body image problem.

One nice-looking man saw me on a train and I could here him saying, cor look at her, but when I got off then heard 'OMG, hey you with the nice top half, what's the time!'

Another nice bloke was gently caressing my hands when he told me I had hands like a man - that relationship went nowhere funnily enough.

fastasleep · 04/03/2005 16:27

LOL Moonshine the hands thing! I'm sorry but that's funny! What a silly thing to say.... if they're not hairy then of course you don't! (nothing wrong with hairy hands either!)

Leogaela · 04/03/2005 16:28

On the good side though its comforting to read this thread and know I'm not the only one who has been on the receiving end of nasty comments from complete strangers!

moonshine · 04/03/2005 16:29

well I am a trucker - what do you expect!

Cam · 04/03/2005 16:33

My dear mother took me to the doctor for being too thin (I wasn't, I was normal). She told him that she couldn't understand it because I ate like a horse (true). It was mortifying even though he told her there was nothing wrong with me. (BTW my mum was very fat)

Pinotmum · 04/03/2005 16:43

I've had my fair share of comments but the worst I had was after I had dd and we were at a child's party and the mother of the host said out loud "see that girl over there (me) well, last time I saw her she was 7 months pregnant and she was half the size she is now" - I must admit everyone looked embarrassed. I was only about 10 stome at the time and I am 5'6". She made me think I was a tank and it ruined my day and probably many weeks after. She wasn't a light weight either but thought she had the right to pull be down. I just pretended I wasn't bothered but inside I died

SleepyJess · 04/03/2005 17:22

Pinotmum.. WHAT a cow! (the child's mother.) Whatever did you SAY?!! I would have said something if I had been a bystander.. not always a wise solution but I am not very good and standing by and keeping my mouth shut. It has got me into VERY hot water in very recent times..and years ago I have been slapped around the face and punched for 'getting involved' where I would have been wiser to not have.

Women can be such total bitches. I know it means they are very sad cases with real social problems.. but that is no bl*dy excuse for ruining somebody's day/month/year etc!!

SJ x

Pinotmum · 04/03/2005 17:54

SJ, I didn't say anything as I was a bit taken aback and also didn't want to seem bothered or give her the satisfaction of seeing I was bothered. It was without doubt the worst comment she could have given a new mum though imho.

Janos · 04/03/2005 18:03

Pinot, what a complete b*tch! Sad to say women can be so nasty to one another it's not true.

This reminds me of something my sister told me.

Anyway, she's a nurse - and one of her friends at work (lets call her x) is pregnant and has a lot of spots as a result of the hormone changes (I had this too). Comment from another colleague to my sister 'I can't understand why x's husband stays with her when she looks like that'.

Wotta COW!!!!!!!!!!!! My sister was disgusted by her comments and told her so. Thank goodness x didn't hear any of this.

Janos · 04/03/2005 18:05

BTW 10st is hardly overweight for someone how is 5ft 6.

I do wonder what sort of person gets it into their head to go out and be unpleasant to a total stranger.

SeaShells · 04/03/2005 18:06

Another one, also from my mum, was a day after having my DD she said 'You still look pregnant, there isn't another one in there is there?' I already felt crap after a traumatic labour and was very emotional, tired and upset already, why do mums find it so hard to just compliment us once in a while? My mum has always claimed that after each of her pregnancies she was back in her size 10 jeans within a fortnight and that I'm just 'prone to being fat, as I take after my dads side of the family'

BubblesDeVere · 04/03/2005 18:08

Unfortnunately I have a really good memory for things that have been said to me, and remember EVERYTHING and sometimes I find myself dwelling but have to pull myself out of it.

I still get comments now from a particular individual at dd1's school, sometimes it normal 'fat cow' etc and other days its even more abusive, i can handle that its just the language in front of the kids now that gets to me.

trefusis · 04/03/2005 18:13

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lou33 · 04/03/2005 18:13

i was told that i should have had an abortion instead of having dd1, while i was holding her in my arms

trefusis · 04/03/2005 18:15

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SeaShells · 04/03/2005 18:15

Oh Lou!

Leogaela · 04/03/2005 18:15

Bubbledevere! you are getting regular abusive comments from someone at dds school???? another parent????

lou33 · 04/03/2005 18:22

by my the partner of my mum

i told him to f**k off about 100 times and called him a small minded twat i think. I dont regret telling him that at all but i regret doing it in front of my mum, she was crying by the end of it asking us to stop arguing

Was about 12 years ago now

tallulah · 04/03/2005 18:44

Unfortunately I have a really good memory & can remember every nasty thing that has ever been said to me.

Daft thing is that the thing that really sticks with me, I was 17 & with the love of my life. He made a comment about the song "the winner takes it all"- something about it being her fault & why was she going on about it- to which I said "it's only a song". He looked at me with complete contempt & said he hated it when people said that, & launched into this tirade about how stupid I was. It comes back to me regularly, despite the passage of 25 years I just wish I'd been able to answer back "oh sorry, didn't realise you were an Abba fan" which would really have wound him up... (being as cool as he was) but I just wasn't quick enough...

I bet he forgot all about it straight away...

Pinotmum · 04/03/2005 19:43

This wasn't said to me but to one of my mum's friends. She is a woman who is quite judgemental so I found it amusing when my mum told me. Apparently she was in a department store shopping for a hat for her daughter's wedding. An Assistant approached her and started suggesting hat styles that would suit her. She tried one on and said "Oh I like this" at which point the assistant adjusted the hat towards her face saying "if the face is prettier than the hat one wears it to the back of the head, if the hat is prettier than the face one wears it forwards" I don't think she bought it

TwoIfBySea · 04/03/2005 21:51

I wonder if we could recall something nice someone has commented. It is much harder.

This happened when I was 17 (nearly 16 years ago) when I was on the bus home from work. I was thinking over stuff as usual not really paying attention to the actual journey. Then at a stop near home I looked around accidently glancing at a couple, around the same age, behind me. As they got off the bus she said really loudly "Well if I looked like her I'd listen to other peoples conversation too."

WTF! I am forever getting comments like that though, I bring out the best in people!

And in regards to our own mothers, sometimes it is jealousy that makes them do it. That is the excuse I thought up for mine and the crap she used to put me through, otherwise I wouldn't want to speak to her, not an option as an only child.

HappyDaddy · 04/03/2005 22:49

I must say that I'm amazed at the amount of nasty comments, not only that you've all been on the receiving end of but those that have stuck with you all this time. Some people are so insecure that they have to draw attention to others to get it away from their own failings.

Others are just c**ts! Sorry.

bibiboo · 05/03/2005 00:31

joash - my mother told me the same thing about how she should have aborted me, and I was only about 8 when she said it. Cow. She walked out on me and my bro 3 years later anyway, which is when my life took a turn for the better
She called me a "little bitch" once too - becuase I'd embarassed her in front of her friend. Okay, so not the worst insult in the world, but to a child, coming from the mother she looked up to, it hurt like hell and still does when I think of it. It's the only comment that still hurts, don't know why. The rest I can shrug off now, knowing I was SO much better off away from her and living with my loving, wonderful gran and grandad.

mummytojames · 05/03/2005 01:13

the most hurtful coment i ever had was of my ex husband
it was when i had to have a temination because there was server problems with the baby if he was born alive he would have lived four hours deaf and blind and nobody knows if he would have been in pain
about five minuites after being told this by my consultant my ex looked at me and said well it couldnt have been my fault i had two perfect children
that hurt more than most people realise and sent me over the edge to a nervous breakdown

jasper · 05/03/2005 01:53

mummytojames I am so glad he is your ex.