Oi, Codwoman, get your own thread ! OK, I should count myself lucky it's only me he drives crazy - no broken windows as yet. It must be mortifying - do they know you are a teacher? When my friend had to go in about her dd's behaviour she let slip she was a teacher and got a knowing look and "might have known..." Whatever that means.
Thankyou all so much for taking the time to reply - it really does help to know I'm not alone in feeling like this. I've calmed down a lot since I wrote that post - really didn't want to be in the same room with him, just felt so churned up inside. It's only people you care about who can wind you up that much, isn't it?
amynnixmum - half term wasn't so bad for me because dh was off work so we could go places and I had someone around to bounce them off! But I know what you mean - it does feel like a prison sentence when it's just me and them. And I'm sure it shouldn't be like that - I had all these ideas about what a fun Mum I was going to be, and I seem to be more of a nagging, grumpy one.
emmatmg - what is it with the silly voices? Honestly, my ds1 is just so...odd. He really is - he always has been really. He's so bright, but he's just off on his own planet most of the time. Ds2 is only 3 but he's much more "earthed" than ds1 - he's more connected with the real world. It's hard to explain. I think he finds it quite hard to engage at school - to sit still and concentrate (though his reports are really good so he is managing it) and maybe he just needs to let off steam when he comes out: let those multiple personalities out of the bag
WWW - what you said was constructive and made me feel so much better. Just like you said, I sometimes get so mad that really it's me that's worse behaved: like a tantrumming toddler. You have no idea what a relief it is to hear that others get wound up to that extreme too. Are you friends again now?
Roisin, it's funny because after completely losing my rag (just before I literally ran upstairs to vent on MN!) he was much, much better. Played on the XBox for a while, then played quite nicely with ds2 while I got dinner ready. Dh is on call tonight and his bleep went off halfway through dinner and I thought "oh here we go..worst time of day" but they were really co-operative. Ds1 helped me load up the dishwasher and didn't kick up a fuss when it was bed-time. Don't know if dh had a word with him before he went - in the 10 minutes I had to speak to him I said I'd had a fraught afternoon.
Thanks to everyone else for saying you feel like this too (can't thank everyone individually, it will be like Gwyneth Paltrow Oscar speech!) It really does help. Perhaps I do expect too much. I think some just me and ds1 time sounds like good idea - though last time I tried it he was so sulky I wished I hadn't bothered. Bedtime used to be "our" time but about a month ago he said he would rather read by himself than have me read to him any more I miss that time - it was an opportunity for us to have an undistracted cuddle. He's growing up - I know he's supposed to and it's my job to help him but it is so He won't hold my hand walking to school any more and I'm not allowed to kiss him goodbye. And he really is like a teenager sometimes - so cocky, argumentative and sullen...you know, that "yeah...whatever" attitude that makes you want to wring their neck!
Sorry, I'm going on and on aren't I? It's hard, this parenting lark. Thanks again for all words of advice, and sympathy - and for letting me sound off. It helps.