Can posters please stop prentending that they don't JUDGE people because we ALL do.

[LittleMissBliss]

I'm fed up of people saying oh don't judge what will that achive. If you judge you are smug etc. WE ALL JUDGE PEOPLE WE DON'T KNOW EVERY DAY!

By the house they live in.
Car they drive.
Clothes they wear.
religeon they follow.
The way the address their children.
They way they talk.

I'm sure we are all guilty of judging a complete stranger on the street.

Mutton dressed as lamb- Oh god look at her who does she think she is?
Hoodies- Better cross the street, they look dodgey.
Fake tan, fake hair, fake boobed girls- she mut be a stripper.
Older balding beer bellied bloke with beautiful Thai woman and mixed raced baby- she must be a mail order bride.

So can people stop posting what gives you the right to judge, unless they can honestly say that they do not judge others.

It is human nature to form opinions on others from small observations. I'm not saying its good to judge others. But just admit that you do!

"TYV - there are threads on mnet though where you could read them and think err..what does the world gain from that?"

Well yes, of course there are, but most of those don't do any harm, I think.

Whereas all sitting round patting ourselves on the back at the expense of someone else actually does do harm, IMVHO. Not to the other person, who is probably oblivious, but to ourselves, because it persuades us that we really are better/cleverer/nicer people than everyone else, and it reinforces a sneering "them and us" mentality.

These are not traits to be proud of, and every second spent being smug at the expense of a stranger chips a little bit of empathy away from us, and a little bit of humanity away from the person being judged, so that at last we can just dismiss them as a crap person and walk on by with a clear conscience.

I suspect there's someone out there judging me for having a learning disabled child 'ooh she drank all through her pregnancy, that kids got fetal alcohol syndrome'.

Never mind that none of it is true

I would have thought that the mother of a 3 day old baby having a serious operation (even though I think we know it wasn't a transplant) and the mother of a child on oxygen might need support rather than a judgment about something completely unrelated to their child's condition.

Slubber I don't agree that "The core of it is "I'm better than you""

I think pigeonholing people is a sort of mental shorthand which we all do to some extent. It's the associations we have.

It's not the same as condemning people, is it?

So if I see a woman in a burkha or (to borrow MB's analogy) a nun's habit, I am entitled to assume muslim, or some form of christian, am I not?

Agree youngvisitor.

And people do notice 'the look' and the silent pat on the bat.

The fact that the person doing the judging has it completely wrong and wouldn't last 5 minutes in your shoes doesn't make it any less wearing.

Anyway his thread has slipped from the point.

That we all judge, admitedly some more than others.

So can posters please stop telling other poster not to juge when they are infact guilty of it themselves.

It is not nice to judge. I do know this.
But that wasn't the point of the OP.

brilliant post theyoungvisitor

and I didn't think your post of 21:52:44 was too bad either

Quattro, in terms of mn mcjudging (and LMB's examples in her OP) not the dictionary terms that LMB has also provided.

I should clarify that my rofl earlier was aimed at the poster who claimed that her judginess was making the judgee think about the consequences of her actions. I realise it looks a bit of next to jimjams post there but, I couldn't really believe someone could post such a load of hogwash and really believe it themselves.

It's late and I am not making much sense now am I?

I don't judge people for things like smoking or drinking in pregnancy, or feeind their children crappy food. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, as I said.

"Judging" someone to be a Christian by their nun's habit, or "judging" someone to be a Muslim by their burkha is not the same.

ranting - I've agreed with you all through this thread.

has it slipped from the point? I thought that jimjams in particular made some pretty relevant points!

And I think your posts, jimjams have been exceptionally level headed and clear and I have been stood behind you applauding, if only I were that eloquent at this time of night, time to turn in, I think.

Yes i know that the last two examples were more to do with in the courts of law.
But sometimes people do deliberate and gather information before they condem people with their juging, as a real juge would thats why also c&p those examples.

Slubber - I agree - it seems to me that people are deliberately conflating making a moral judgement on an issue (which is fine - even laudable) or engaging in lazy stereotyping (which is not laudable, but we all do) with the kind of mutual back-patting that we see on too many threads.

These are completely different things.

The Op, wasn't i judge people AMIBU?, if so please tell me why and help me to stop and become a better person.

I just wanted people to admit that other people judge in the ways that i have stated in my op and therefore should not codem others for judging.

Well, some people have admitted that LMB. So, job done then, wouldn't you say? You are vindicated!

just admit that it is a normal human trait ( all be it not a nice one) but it is the way that we base our decisions in life on quick judgements.

I'm baffled - just because people share a trait, doesn't mean it's ok, or that you can't still dislike it.

I have a bad temper - doesn't mean that I let temper tantrums in my DS go unchallenged.

Actually, LMB, no. Not all of us do. Some of us reserve judgement, or don't think about it at all. I mean - why would i?

Yes it sort of worked, but then all the none judgers came and judged me for being a judging cow!

Agree with every post you have made on this thread theyoungvisiter

EVERYONE JUDGES! here's an example

SD If their was a lovely blonde beautiful woman in her 20's and a dreaded, tattood, grungy old man and in a split decision you had to leave your young kids with one who would you choose?

In what situation would I have to leave my child with one of them?

Utterly absurd!

I didn't mean because everyone does it it makes it ok. I just wanted to get accross the irony of the non judgers who judge me!