Can posters please stop prentending that they don't JUDGE people because we ALL do.

[LittleMissBliss]

I'm fed up of people saying oh don't judge what will that achive. If you judge you are smug etc. WE ALL JUDGE PEOPLE WE DON'T KNOW EVERY DAY!

By the house they live in.
Car they drive.
Clothes they wear.
religeon they follow.
The way the address their children.
They way they talk.

I'm sure we are all guilty of judging a complete stranger on the street.

Mutton dressed as lamb- Oh god look at her who does she think she is?
Hoodies- Better cross the street, they look dodgey.
Fake tan, fake hair, fake boobed girls- she mut be a stripper.
Older balding beer bellied bloke with beautiful Thai woman and mixed raced baby- she must be a mail order bride.

So can people stop posting what gives you the right to judge, unless they can honestly say that they do not judge others.

It is human nature to form opinions on others from small observations. I'm not saying its good to judge others. But just admit that you do!

And the boy with the tube? Perhaps he caught RSV - for which the link with maternal smoking is currently unclear. Or was he premature? Lots of reasons for lung disease.

(PS I don't smoke).

My daughter has CF and I do feel irritated when we walk past smokers who are risking their lungs in this way ..BUT I tell myself they're addicted/they'd probably like to stop but it's too hard etc etc. I'm far too wishy washy to be really judgy about anything much

yes I agree with that theyoungvisitor. Although having been on the receiving end of a lot of people catching a snapshot smug back patting I would say that often the recipient is not oblivious. I suspect someone pregnant and smoking might be quite sensitive to all the 'looks'.

That's why I think it's so poisonous.

youngest double lung transplant. I'm not entirely aware of all the ins and outs of the procedure her daughter went under but from what i've been told she had a lung transplant at 3 days old.

I can only presume that it had a link with smoking in pregnancy. I didn't like smoking in pregnancy before i became aware of these case, it just reinforced my feelings.

"I can only presume that it had a link with smoking in pregnancy."
Why on earth would you presume that?

still looking unlikely at 3 days old

I would love to know who 'told' you.

Not wise to believe gossip.

Because that's the way i think i think.... we established way back that i judge people.

Possibly the children involved conditions could have been avoided if their mums didn't smoke. I will never know as i am not a Dr. and don't know them well enough to ask. Not that i would because if that is the case they have to live with their own guilt.

I don't judge on things like smoking during pregnancy or feeding children crap.

Because people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones IMO.

But LMB no-one is saying you can't object to smoking during pregnancy. I'm just wondering what the world gains by yet another thread saying "I saw this woman in Tesco's today puffing away..."

I'm very anti-smoking for personal reasons - but I tend to channel that feeling into giving money to cancer charities and (I hope) passing on my views to my kids and being supportive to friends who are trying to quit.

If it were a thread saying "My friend is pregnant and still smoking - what can I do to help her?" then fine - if it's just a "oo, isn't this complete stranger a cow" then what's the point?

Byt LMB- why would you make that judgment and then spread it on here when you have probably got the whole situation wrong. A) 3 day old babies don't it seems have lung transplants and B) smoking in pregnancy increases the risk of various things but doesn't seem to lead to the conditions you're having a good old judge about.

Don't you feel a bit daft for coming to completely the wrong conclusions?

I was told by another girl (not a friend), who is also a mum that i went to school with (they are close friend) .

This was in a pub whilst i was pregnant ( i was not not drinking). She also proudly told me that she smoked and drank throughout her pregnancy and her sons fine!

I just took it on face value. I didn't really think at the time why she would make it up or exagerate....

yuk I just re-read my last post and realised how incredible sanctimonious it sounds!

Please excuse me while I go and find a bag to be sick in as I have just nauseated myself.

Of course I judge. I judge loads. I just don't tend to post about it unless invited (at which point my inner bitch escapes)

You're judging on stuff you were told in a pub by someone you barely know.

Oh well that's ok then .

TYV - there are threads on mnet though where you could read them and think err..what does the world gain from that?

After all, this is a chat forum and so topics like this will come up - its certainly something I would say in conversation in rl too - not just something I'd reserve for online. Nowt wrong with a bit of judging - especially if it would stop someone from smoking while pg as they were afraid of what people would think!

Well, yeah, but the likelihood of someone stopping because they were afraid of being judged is minimal. They just wouldn't do it in public!

I haven't spread anything i haven't metioned the parents or the children in question.

And when i was being judged about disliking women who smoke whilst pregant (on another thread) because it wasn't relevant.

How do you know it is the wrong conclusion?

Even if it wasn't i still would feel exactly the same. It is just not right by any stretch of the imagination. I know people do it for different reasons (mentioned in ither thread) but in my eyes that still does not make it right.

What on earth makes you think that someone would give a monkeys brass tacks, what you think of them? Am completely baffled by that explanation tbh.

People do care what others think of them. Thats why the cosmetics, diet, hair care, fashion industry etc. are wort billions.

And why doing the old tuts and eyebrow raising is so poisonous.

Smoking in pregnancy may increase the risk of SIDS, increases the risk of low birthweight etc. It doesn't lead to babies needing lung transplants (which don't take place at 3 days old anyway).

I suppose it depends what they think of you in the first place LMB!

yes that's true SD.

Rofl!! I really don't think that people lay awake at night worrying about what complete strangers might think of them. Besides opinions are like arseholes everyones got one....

oh I dunno about that Ranting, if you are feeling vulnerable for whatever reason (whether own mental health reasons or some child related issue such as special needs or dealing with particularly challening behaviour) then things can prey on your mind.

Oh would it have been better if,

i was judging by what someone i didn't know really well told me in the library!

Even if i hadn't been told that i still would feel as strongly as i do.

Okay point accepted there TC but, I am a bit agog at the assumption made that by judging people you are actually doing them some good, like a kind of public service. Am completely amazed by that logic.