Wife swap

[Tinker]

Well? What do we think?

Batters

You want to swap your husband then?

What do you want for him?

LOL

I would like to swap my dh for Jennifer Anistons dh, but only temporarily, as he might want to have babies with me!

To me this was a facinating episode as I was Tracey (MO1) I used to commute to London, therefore left at 7.15 and get back home at 7.30pm. This meant I didn't actually see my kids in the morning, and for about 10 - 20 mins in the evening. It nearly killed me, but I had to do it as my dh didn't work (he's an actor). Finally I decided I had to make the change (partly I was pushed as well) and so I took a 30% drop in salary and found a job 10 mins form home. This has totally changed my life, I get teh kids up, give them breakfast, get home in time to play before bath and bed and it works. But it was scarey. But Tracey did feel guilty, she knew that Kate had hit a raw nerve with the end comments and therefore went on the defensive. Apparently on GMTV she admitted this.
She did annoy me for other things though, accusing the bloke (Trevor?) of not supporting her, this is because he was working 2 jobs and studying so his wife could do the lions share of the childcare. And saying he was too much of a disiplinarian, with 6 kids and a house that wasn't huge, you need military organisation to even get out of the door. So what if the bathroom was a mess when Tracey finally decided to get her lazy rump out of bed, My house is a bombsite once I leave.

I loved the egg timer thing too, it is a way to be non-confrontational about things which you need doing, I am going to get one.

I think MO1 was very hard on DO6 for working so hard, she didn't consider that he might have to do it financially to support hi family.

I did also wonder where this'beautiful home" she kept referring to was, and the way she kept saying "I love my daughter" Yes we know she does, we all love our kids unconditionally, but at the end of the day her child hardly ever saw her, and IMO I felt that DD was very cool to MO1 when she returned.

I thought that the family of 6 were happy and fun loving, they were basically decent kids despite the "cramped house"

I felt Tracey was very rude to MO6, insulting her because the whole experience had highlighted her inadequacies as a mother.

I think mo6 was definitely wrong to try and take the dummy away. She was coping with a whole new routine and I don't think another week with it would have caused too much damage to her teeth. Mo1 wasn't enjoying the cake making, she said she was in tears almost because of the mess they were making, and couldn't speak! Mo1 was way too rude about mo6, but was no doubt because she had touched a nerve, and it was a defence mechanism I think. And I laughed out loud, long and hard when she said the house was dirty. As a mo4 myself I find it impossible to keep it anything less than slightly chaotic. If she had been saying it to me I would have laughed and agreed with her! But then it's a lot easier to tidy a house when there is no child in it for 12 hours a day as the mess they make is going to be minimal isn't it? Really couldn't warm to the mo1, but was full of admiration for mo6 (apart from dummy incident). Thought do6 was quite good really, at least he knew the routine which a lot of dads don't, and he was working 2 jobs and studying to be a social worker, so he probably wasn't able to help out that much anyway. Thought do1 was a pillock. Would have told him to get up at 5.30 and stick his pumpkin up his a**e. How dare he make promises to his daughter on mo6 behalf, then make her feel guilty cos she didn't fulfil them! And then he said she would have to make it a better day tomorrow for lottie! Aargh!

haven't seen this and don't intend to. based on the comments on this thread, on the series as a whole, it all seems geared to showing working mothers in a bad light. as others have said, no-one bats and eyelid when the dads do it...

I think the comments about the six children not appreciating the lovely meal that MO1 had made on day 2 and the fact that they ran around and 'didn't listen' to her were just hilarious - What did she expect? They were children who by definition do not like to try different food and want to test the boundaries with any adult who is in charge!!!.

Got the feeling mo1 didn't actually like children too much, just the idea of them. Didn't take it as an attck on working mothers, (I'm one) but more an attack on ridiculous hours by ANY parent.

Is it just me, or are the real villians of all these programs been the men? (Carol! Carol!) What was it with that Dave complaining that the kitchen wasn't kept clean enough when Kate hd not got home till 10pm. I wanted to shout clean it yourself you lazy pillick. And how dare he promise something on her behalf when she could never have fulfilled the promise, then berate her about it? Why coulnd't he have done the pumpkin bit himself?

I agree about the ridiculous hours bit as well. My impression of the father of 6 was the hours were a temporary measure until he had gained his qualification, but at least he had an active hand in the child raising, though he could have at least pulled the plug out of the bath after he'd used it.

There was a double standard going on with Tracey though. This was the woman who got up at 5.30am in order to have the perfect home, but insisted on a lay in when she was at the other house, then complained that the house was untidy!

Bossykate - I don't think - naive me maybe - that they intend on criticisng working mums... this one was a bit of a workaholic (sp?)... I mean she is a legal sec. who leaves home at 8 (I presume) and comes back at 8PM!!!! I was a senior exec in a London based blue chip company and never came back at 8PM when I had kids (unless there was a VERY specific reason... and that wasn't even 1x a month)... She could well change her hours and her job (location)... IMO... sorry I don't think working mums are bad (I am one too....) just I think she may have lost track of what is happening.

I never thought I'd say this (based on my comments posted on Men's Annoying Habits), but last night's prog really made me appreciate dh and my own life. Although I'd love to hear someone else's comments after living with him for 2 weeks. "Did most of the shopping and at least half the cooking, but I couldn't help hearing some VERY strange noises coming from the bathroom..."

bk, I didn't think it was an attack on working mothers either. But I do think the working mother in this episode came off badly due to a combination of her hours and her attitude - I agree she didn't seem to like children much. MO6 was quite careful to say that she didn't have a problem with working mothers at all, just that she couldn't do it.

I take the point though - would anyone had had the same issues had she been the one working part time and the father of 1 had been working 12 hour days? Possibly not. She kept on about how she wanted to have something to go back to when her dd left home but seemed to be missing the point about the here and now - I mean she rarely saw her daughter during the week except in the early hours of the morning. I'd have an issue with either of us working those hours I think but it's true, no-one critisided DO6 for rarely being there. Loved the quote too about that's not crying that's noise!!

Completely agree about the pumpkin - what was DO1 thinking of promising that when he knew the hours she worked? And yes, he should have cleaned the kitchen himself, definitely. It is a shame that women get pitted against women in this series though. The men get off lightly in terms of defending decisions presumably made as a family.

what about the comments earlier on when the woman who worked full time never cooked? ok, ready meals and take aways every evening are ott - but i don't think comparing the domestic habits of full time working mothers with sahms is really a like for like comparison. the fact that she never cooked seemed to be viewed as just as bad as the fact that she was a racist!

The thing that made me sad was that mo1 jept saying, but Lottie will be gone and I need to have a life after she has gone' and I kept thinking, 'yes, but don't you want to see her while you have got her.?'

Absolutely, hilary. It was tragic. And after hearing her say, "remind me not to have any more children", I couldn't help wondering why she'd wanted one in the first place.

I'm with Batters - completely addicted. BK, I don't think it was the fact that she never cooked as such rather that that couple had the most vile looking frozen means 6 nights a week (I think it was next family who had take-aways 5 times a week). This just seems expensive, unhealthy and unsociable. Between the pair of them, I would have thought they could rustle up a quick pasta or a salad on one or two week nights.

Point taken Pamina, but I feel DO6 didn't have a choice about the hours he worked,( by virtue of having six kids) but was around for the children. Hopefully when he is fully qualified he won't have to do all the night work. MO1 could have a choice, she could work less or nearer home, but I don't think she really wanted to. I also felt that her DH missed out too!

I don't have strong view either way on whether it's the mother or the father who works the hours, but do have views on children being left in day nurseries from 6 weeks of age from 7-7 until they go to school ( I know DO1 picked Lottie up early, but she could also have been left later)

I just feek MO1 was very self centered, she was only thinking about her future, not that of her child, she seemed to think a "beautiful house: made up for her naot being around!

Yes Pamina I'm sensitive about it too. Although my commute is 15 mins, my minimum working day in the actual office is 7am-6pm but like you, its four rather than five days. I actually found it was OK when I had one child but now I have two, I simply don't feel I am able to give them enough attention on those four evenings. DH and I have always regarded each other as equals on all fronts and now when I tell him I'm unhappy and want to give up work, I feel horrendouly guilty that he will have to struggle on with long hours etc while I stay at home.

I thought this program would promote a long debate! I am a full-time working mum and alot of what MO1 said really hit home with me. IMO her hours are too long and she really should put her child to bed every night. I think she said she was a legal secretary - surely she could do this work anywhere - nearer home. I was also annoyed when she said she was working for Lottie - she could at least be honest and say it was for herself (it is in my case). Agree with Panima's dh - men do not come across very favourably in this series. Roll on next week...

I also felt that the programme portrayed MO1 as self centred and uncaring but I was probably more sensitive to that because I am a MO1 who works 3 days a week and have always met opposition from my MOL and SIL who have both always stayed at home. My MOL said this morning that she "felt sorry" for the little girl.. a dig at the fact that she was in daycare. However, studies have shown that most children who have good childcare thrive well and can be more confident than other children. I think how you view the programme is based on whether you are a SAHM or at work. I just feel sick of always feeling like I have to defend myself for wanting to carry on working...I don't love my daughter any less I just ENJOY (god strike me down for admitting it)the time away from being a mum/housewife....!!!

Interesting Pamima, my DH was practically throwing things at the men last night saying 'why does he work 2 jobs?' and 'how dare he sit down with a beer when he could be doing the ironing' (sobernow, the man has never ironed, don't get too enthusiastic, mind you I don't either), whereas I was grumbling about Tracy's 2hour commute. I suspect even though the characters seem so extreme you do see them through the mirror of your own life.

In Tracy's defense if she works with lawyers all day (who presumably earn loads more than her) I suspect she must place more value on material things than your average person might. Still, I wouldn't do a crazy commute like that for anybody, with or without a child to come home to.