Will I ever not think about it

[gingerbreadgirl2]

I've posted before about what my boyfriend done, we have 3 young kids together, he had an affair and the ow got pregnant and kept the baby, our babies are 5 weeks apart.
When my boyfriend told me (only because the cms got in touch) my baby was 2 weeks old, now 7 months, anyway, if I'm not busy or asleep the only thing I can think about is the affair and that he has another child, he decided he didn't want a
Relationship with the child, totally his decision, I've stayed for a few reasons but thinking about it is driving me insane, don't think it will get less over time? Don't think he thinks about the other child all the time too?

@Creamcheesedreams I think he wants to keep it from our kids, it's like the other child doesn't exist or at least that's how he makes it seem, can't see he doesn't think about the other child though, unless he is dead inside

It's a mess and I don't see a way out at the moment, we were at his parents for Christmas yesterday and all day I was thinking are they all thinking about the child they don't know!

What going on in his head is what can he do to keep getting fed and laid while pretending he didn't have another child. I wonder what his children with you will think of him when they know he abandoned a child as well as cheated on mummy. Kids tend to not like their father screwing over their mother.

The kids will find out eventually - tho if he insists on keeping it secret it might not come out until they're teens and their sibling tries to contact them.

Gosh, what a horrible man. You should be with him OP, how can he just disregard one of his own children like that? Hideous.

*shouldn't

You won't be able to overlook such a betrayal. I would doubt it was a one off. If he can deny one child so readily he could just as easily opt out of your dc life. Just take back the initiative , tell others and ask him to leave, is he paying cms now?

He didn’t want a baby with her. She chose to keep it. Yes he should pay but I wouldn’t judge him for not wanting a relationship with the child. Plenty of people are forced to have children they don’t want. Protection doesn’t work 100%. I couldn’t forgive the affair though.

Don't be silly. The chances of him using a condom are nil.

@LIZS yes he has to pay £600 a month and he seems to think that he's doing his bit!
And I don't agree with previous post that he shouldn't be judged for not seeing the child. If he didn't want one he never should have made it possible to make one.

All the more reason to get out. What example are you setting them? That it’s ok to lie and cheat on a partner and treat them dreadfully.
You and those 3 precious angels deserve better. There is no love between you and their dad.

He didn't use contraception he told me. The worst part about it is, he said he thought if she got pregnant she would abort it

Have you been checked for sti's etc? Remember that £600 is being taken from your family.

@LIZS yes I got checked as soon as I found out.
It's a lot of money but he is the one to blame, I'm just so unsure if anything yet it's all I think about. I don't know if it's an act but he seems like everything's normal and nothings changed and I act that way for the kids

I don’t understand people who convince themselves to stay in a relationship with someone who cheated on them. It’s one thing if you genuinely do get past it but another to convince yourself and ignore how you really feel in the process.

He also doesn’t give a fuck about a child he created. He sounds lovely

@2025willbemytime you're 100 right

He really is a prince among men. I suspect it will always be there, because you see him completely differently now. His cheating, denying his child, controlling who his parents can and can not see.

@ABunchOfBadBitches maybe he does give a fuck but feels it's the right thing to do!

Infidelity is unnecessary. I woukd not have any respect for him. You deserve better

How can the right thing to do be to ignore the existence of your child? Strange

Having 3 children makes leaving a lot harder, it's easier said than done

@ABunchOfBadBitches I don't know, he probably thinks if he sees the child it'll make things worse at home even though I've told him I don't know how he can ignore his own flesh and blood

Mate. Good luck

I know I'm being judged but this is a very hard situation for me and I didn't ask or expect any of it

No one is judging you right now but you will be if you stay and he causes more pain for you and your kids. Though no one has the right.

You can't stay. You can do this alone. You have to. When you leave and you get yourself in a routine and get on with managing you'll wish you left sooner.

It really is as easy as that. Your kids want thank you later for using them as an excuse to stay.