The best piece of advice you ever received

[Itsoneofthose]

What is the best piece of advice you were ever told?

Will it matter a week from now? A month from now? A year from now?

A work colleague from about 30 years ago, her mum had had a heart attack and needed to keep her stress levels down. This was something the doctor told her to ask herself whenever she was worried about something - and the answer a lot of the time is no. I use it a lot, and DH does now too.

Take the long view which I interpret as thinking about the long tern consequences of my actions.

Another work one. At 18 I was from a v poor background and knew nothing about pensions, nor did my hard working parents. A union man tried to convince me but I didn't want to sign anything - then he told me that it was as important as buying a house and that it was free money for my later years - so I signed and retired at 53. Really wish I could go back and thank him and a few other managers who steered me the right way with gentle guidance.

In a work context

what gets measured gets done

and

identify the problem before working on the solution

Advice that was given to a friend fretting about wedding stuff by her mother 3 days beforehand.
"Anything you are stressing about now, is the stuff no-one will notice if it's not there"

It made me approach my own wedding very differently a) didn't do all the frills at all and b) think carefully about how much I load up my plate trying to have/do it all. What is absolutely necessary and what is not.

From my dad many years ago
Don’t count on anything until it is in your hand.
Never discuss what you earn with other people.
Never fall out with anyone in the family. Let anything said go over your head as it’s never worth it.

Don't have more children than you have hands.

From my mum;

When things aren’t going well, just do what you can to prepare for when things get better, so you can run through that door.

From my best mate;

Just because others have no standards doesn’t mean you should lower yours.

And one I tell myself;

Always think through the consequences of my actions and behaviour to what will be the outcome. Everything is an equation, what does my behaviour equal? Then make the decision about what I want to do.

Dont lend money you can't afford to lose. Especially to friends and family.

When someone shows you who they are - believe them…

If you keep washing up for lazy idiots they'll keep letting you. So stop.

Don’t be discouraged from doing something because it will take a long time. The time will pass anyway.

1. When someone is putting you down, imagine mirrors surrounding you & their words bouncing back to them, instead of you absorbing them. You'll see their words are a reflection of them alone, and have nothing to do with you, or who you are.

1. When you try to make a life change, some people will try to shove you back into your old box, either for their own comfort or because they think something is wrong with you. Don't let them.

Always keep your career and have an income of your own, even if you share everything with your husband.
Pay into a pension
Never discuss your finances with anyone who isn't contributing to them.

My late mum was a wise woman.

Grandmother: Never give a sucker an even break.
It raises my antennas early and has often saved me from CFs.

Do it or don’t do it, just don’t moan.

I have said this a few times to DH when he’s been faffing and moaning about things he does for a sports club voluntarily, but then moans about it!
Drives me nuts.
Make a decision and get on with it!

The best advice has been ‘think,of your pension’ from DM. I retire in July and my pension is fine as we’ve kept an eye on it all. Thanks mum.

I'm sure that's true! Definitely a new way of thinking!

There's so much good stuff on this thread :)

Colleagues aren't friends.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Destiny doesn't pay house calls.

"That's domestic abuse. Not even borderline. You need to end your relationship. I'll refer you to Women's Aid"

My GP said roughly this in 2021. I finally managed to leave exDP in 2023. I'll forever be grateful.

In life you have to choose your regrets

The word trapped is coming to my mind

From my very clever lovely caring good friend who was so worried about what she saw and wanted to gently say that my bastard ex was doing everything to stop me leaving

We did leave and are now safe but my god she made me stop and think that day !!!!

It was said in such a caring non condescending way !!!!!

Always keep your own running away money..
...from my mum when I was about 18

Don't let anyone intimidate you.

Men need women more than women need men - so don't let any man think you need him more than he needs you.

Those that mind don’t matter and those that matter don’t mind