Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Other subjects

Should I he go to the wedding alone… so disrespected

62 replies

Ladieunlucky · 21/06/2024 20:13

Hi all,

Just the back story. Myself and my partner are part of a large couples group. Around Xmas we visited Paris for our anniversary and unbeknown to one of the couples (recently engaged) we was visiting the hotel she wished to go to for her hen do. This was spoke about over a group dinner and didn’t think there were issues, or so it seamt at the time. During our Paris visit I sent photos of our trip, hotel to the girlfriend group (with person in, let’s call her Jess). I was returned with silence and snidy comments such as ‘oh what a coincidence’ ect. I still hadn’t clicked on there was a issue as my trip had been booked way before the couple had even got engaged.

Fast forward and I’m met with funniness from the whole group, to which I ask Jess if she’s okay and does she want to talk. She proceeds to say no, not all at and I know exactly what id done. My OH was also baffled as her finance is his best friend and couldn’t see a issue. Jess and I unfortunately went on to have a argument and wrip me apart. Saying from day one she had issues with me, I had no morals and integrity and throught it was wrong I had sent photos of hotel she wanted to go too. I replied to her that (and this’s was the case) I had never meant harm, was unaware and that if she had issues for all these years why hadn’t she said. Jess and I had spent many times doing things as a 4, she repeatly said how close we were and always made plans. I was baffled and we left the argument as we would stay amiable for our OHs. No contact since, and the whole girl group now does not talk to me bar 1/2. This has deeply upset me, and during Xmas I was excluded from couple plans and was left alone Xmas eve as I encouraged my OH to see his friends.

Now today 7 months on.. OH has received a solo invite to their wedding next year. He’s been put in a group with his single friends. But he’s not single. I don’t not have a invite. He told me out of respect and has not yet replied but mentioned he may go for the day. This wedding is around 5 hours away. This is the 2nd celebration I’ve been excluded from this year that’s he’s attended alone. I told him I thought he needed to at least mention my lack of invite. And this was child’s play and unless something is said I’d be forever excluded. Which I can’t take! My OH has backed me and tried to be supportive and his friends still included him.

What should I do and what would you expect your OH to do. I want to be fair to him. Thanks

OP posts:
KarenSmithsWeatherBoobs · 21/06/2024 23:33

What do the 1/2 people you are still in contact with have to say about it all OP?

SummerInSun · 21/06/2024 23:34

Agree with all PP that bride is a high maintenance nutter. But I disagree that your DP shouldn't go. If this is a long standing close friend of his, who he was friends with before and independently of nutter fiancée, I think it's understandable he wants to be there not for her but for his friend, otherwise that friendship will be dead. And sounds like the finance is really going to need his male friends in a few years when he realises he's trapped married to a lunatic.

Mostlyoblivious · 21/06/2024 23:38

This is confusing.

Who booked the hotel on your Christmas trip? You or your partner? How did that person know about the hotel?

Gcsunnyside23 · 21/06/2024 23:46

There has to be a backstory here. There's no way this is why you both fell out and all the rest went along with it

HcbSS · 21/06/2024 23:51

Why on Earth would going to this hotel cause offense? I would love it if someone had previously been somewhere I wanted to go so they could give me an honest review and I could decide whether or not it was worth it.
Your boyfriend should be sticking up for you and telling his mate that he is punching low with this silly little girl and that he will always be there for him but does not support the marriage or wedding. My husband would do that for me if I was treated like that.

BabyBobs · 22/06/2024 00:09

If she has turned everyone against you because you stayed in a hotel that she had ear marked for her hen do but hadn't actually told you then why isn't your boyfriend penalised in her weird petty world?

I think your boyfriend has a role in this and perhaps indicates that you specifically chose the hotel and knew about her designs on the hotel.

He may have a reason to isolate/alienate you from this group of old friends who perhaps know something about him that he doesn't want you to know about. That might include another woman on the side who they are friends with.

That's just a blind guess as I can't understand why anyone would be annoyed at anyone for staying in a hotel that they one day hopes to stay in.

NewName24 · 22/06/2024 00:49

I'd really like to hear 'Jess's' side of this as the version OP has told is definitely missing something.

Ladieunlucky · 22/06/2024 00:49

Hi all thank you so so much for all the answers. All great but so different!

More back story- Jess is a upper class, get everything paid for girl. Nothing

wrong there but if you’ve been to Tenerife .. she’s been elevenrife. Get the gist. Originally on introducing to the group I was newly separated from my ex husband - didn’t discuss opening why should I. Jess had made a problem of this. Another friend had some issues, Jess made a problem of this. Now this. I’m guessing she never liked me ? And wanting a reason why. The girls are scared, she’s ringleader, house party central, gossip ect

OH update - spoke tonight after being upset all day. He said there’s part of him that wants to see his friends marry (friends since year 7) but he wants to put some truths out there to the couple about how this isn’t right. He feels disrespected because he would have to attend with no +1. I get this and he’s not saying he’s going but he want this aired as he doesn’t feel it fair.

OP posts:
BabyBobs · 22/06/2024 00:52

Your boyfriend should flat out ask her in front of everyone why she's condemned you but not him as he's 'guilty' of the same offence which isn't actually an offence at all!

I would have to finish with him as he's a bit of a wet blanket and his friends are awful.

There's no coming back from this, they have their minds made up and don't like you so why bother being with someone who is going to always socialise with them?

EddieMunson · 22/06/2024 09:03

This reply has been deleted

We decided to take this one down.

custardlover · 22/06/2024 09:11

Are you all 16?

WingingItSince1973 · 22/06/2024 10:55

This reply has been deleted

We decided to take this one down.

That's quite a different slant on things.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page