Should I report my health visitor? She shouted at my dog in my home?

[Anon1998]

We own a very excitable boxer dog, he gets excited by new faces and jumps up at strangers. For this reason, we keep him outside in a part of garden that’s fenced off when health professionals come, or another family member sits with him.

We've recently lost our spare front door key and my partner had took the front door key out with him. The health visitor turned up 25 minutes early. A family member was walking past and asked if they should call me as I hadn’t answered the door yet. I realised at this point I couldn’t let her in front door, and the dog was out the back.

I let her in the back gate and my dog, visibly excited, jumped up at the health visitor, leaving mud on her uniform. Far from ideal as I work in health care myself! She then shouted at my dog in a really abrupt, aggressive tone. Also, she called me someone else’s name the entire visit! If she had given me warning she was coming early I could have put my dog in a separate part of the garden which he can’t get out of. (I didn’t do this as she was about to walk off due to me not answering door
Immediately, I heard a family member pass asking if she wanted them to ring me, so I hurried to let her in back garden before she dashed off).

After she rang in for a new uniform, the visit began. She bombarded me with questions about how my dog is around my son, and 9 month old niece (already discussed he is calm and fine around children in previous visits). Her reasoning for this was because she said it took him a while to get off her whilst she shouted at him. Family members have said it’s unlikely that an excited dog is going to listen to a stranger that’s acted aggressive towards them on their “territory”.

I couldn’t have been more apologetic as I knew this would delay her schedule collecting a new uniform. However she raised her voice in my home.

I never normally have an issue with my health visitor however these past 2 visits I’ve felt abit patronised and spoken down too. She just jumps in before allowing me to finish my sentence. My son is teething and she asked if I’d given him anything, I replied “calpol”,
before I had the chance to say I’d only given him it on two occasions when I couldn’t get teething gel, she jumped in, telling me not to give him harsh stuff straight away. If she’d let me continue, I would of explained. She’s asked me if I have any info on weaning, I explained I help a lot with my niece whose weaning and have some books too. She warned me to ensure their up to date, I’m aware it’s her job to do this, but it’s the tone and way she says things. I wish she’d take some of my ideas on board before immediately shutting them down and enforcing her own agenda. (She works for NHS so I know she has to provide me guidance on these things as she told me).

I’m aware the stuff with the weaning and calpol is standard for them to check up on, I'm just giving a little background on previous visits. I just don’t like the manner she spoke to my dog in, in my home, around my son.

Apologies for the awful grammar I wrote
this in a hurry!

Some health visitors do wear uniform, definitely from where I’m from.

I have a bad back, a dog jumping up at me hurts and could put my back out for weeks. So many dog owners seem to assume that because they don't mind the dog jumping up noone else needs to mind either.

If she got your name wrong she was likely using someone elses notes, so likely recording your visit on the random strangers notes. Meaning your and your childs information could be given to said random stranger.

YABVU I am not surprised your HV has concerns, I would too.

Regardless of how placid a dog is, you can never 100% trust them where babies and children are concerned. We are always hearing about family pets who have unexpectedly "turned" with horrific consequences. And I say that as a dog lover and owner.

I think your HV may also be within her rights to report you for what would be considered an out of control dog. I'm not sure of the law when it's within your own home.

How was she supposed to react.
Dogs are unpredictable. I would have shouted at it too.

Rhubarb

Not everyone likes dogs. She’s not in the wrong for not wanting a dog jumping on her.

the rest isn’t great from her part

I hated having the HV round. She was young, had no kids, a bit ditzy and I really did not want to show her my feckin stitches!!!

I've heard so many bad stories about HVs from friends. I do think it's pretty common to not enjoy having them round or to want to ask them for anything.

I do think it would be petty to report her, though. No matter when anyone pop's round, early or not, it's your job to make sure your dog is safely locked away. It's really naive to think that any stranger would be happy to have a muddy dog jumping up them, nevermind the fact that it's literally her job to make sure your home is safe for your baby!

I'm afraid complaining might cause you to have even more visits.

Boomboom22 · Today 18:02
You sound absolutely awful and no way are the children safe when you couldn't get it off her, how the hell did it manage to jump on her? I wouldn't be surprised if social services pay a visit very soon.
The nerve of you to consider complaining about her! The entitlement is astounding, and the lack of care about the safety of others shocking. You are an hcp??

I think this post is unwarranted and bullying.

Your dog should have been leashed (yes, even in its own yard) if you knew you had to let someone through that way.

This.

You are reacting appallingly OP. Absolutely appallingly.

Professionals who visit homes often have a lot of bad experiences of dogs including being intimidated and attacked. That will be playing into her response. She is probably also fed up to the back teeth of people with poorly trained dogs who don't keep them under control and away from visitors too.

Sorry OP, but you brought her reaction upon yourself.

I can understand what you mean about not being excitable at children. My ex has a dog that would jump up at adults who came in, although he would only be restrained when it's a stranger - most of the adults who entered the property were absolutely fine with being jumped on and licked etc and would actively encourage the behaviour and start playing with him. He was a German shepherd. Liked to sit on people too, but again, this was only allowed with friends or family who liked it of course.

But, when a child walked in, he never jumped on/at them. Neither did he attempt to sit on them. It seemed like he was aware they were smaller, iyswim. So he would be excited to see them and big waggy tail, coming up to them all sniffy, maybe try to lick a hand etc, but he never reacted to them the same way as an adult. It was a clear differentiation, as he would say jump at me when I came in (I didn't mind) but not my daughter.

Also, very calm and not excitable at all once everyone is in the house and settled. It's just the initial entrance of someone that triggered it.

Was dog/cat aggressive so would bark when seeing one out the window, but you could pull him away by the collar and he'd show no aggression to you. Could take his food bowl away from him while he's eating and there would be no aggression ever.

However, there may be concerns around him knocking a child while in that state, for sure!

When I worked as a community nurse we weren't even allowed to enter homes if a dog was loose. Dogs always had to be put into a different room or the garden. It sounds like you didn't control the situation very well.

So, your main issue is that she raised her voice when a large, excitable and unfamiliar (to her) dog jumped up at her?

That seems a bit unreasonable on your part, tbh, rather than on hers. She's come to a patient's home, got dog and dog mud on her (which is a problem in terms of needing a new uniform, potential allergies, etc), probably got quite a fright from it, and despite that she's not left but instead has tried to persevere with the appointment. A lot of people would have left at that point and refused to come back unless the dog was properly contained.

Her questions seem pretty reasonable to me - asking about the large dog being around children, checking you understand about medications, discussing weaning.

Getting your name wrong is annoying but could have been easily fixed by you correcting her.

If you don't like her for other reasons, you don't have to see her (or any health visitor). But this isn't a particularly reasonable excuse for a report. Just say you don't want to see her any more (if you don't want to) and leave it at that.

Seriously? I'd be absolutely mortified if this happened.

I wouldn't worry about her coming back - she's probably blacklisted any future home visits by the team because of the dangerous dog on the premises.

Some people don't like dogs jumping up and shouting may have been an instinct reactions, especially as boxers are big dogs. She may have felt the need to ask how he is with children for safeguarding reasons after this. But she should let the matter drop now unless she witnesses something else happen with the dog at a later date, and not judge your dog ownership skills from one incident.

Not sure why people are typing out huge replies to something so basic. Control your animal. Do not allow it to jump on people who are working. This is obvious and bare minimum.

OP, your HV is not the problem. You are.

@Boomboom22

Your post is ridiculously over the top. A dog jumping up does not mean that it is aggressive. And OP usually does put measures in place to stop him jumping at people. He is young, for all we know, OP is training him not to jump up. It can take a while to train that out of them.

YABVU I would shout if a massive dog jumped at me. I would also be concerned about children around any animal that didn’t seem to be under control.

@Prescottdanni123 you just made that up 😄 the dogs age is not mentioned. It’s not relevant, if a dog is ‘too young’ to not jump at people, it needs to be kept under control. 🥴

We own two large dogs. And I wouldn’t hesitate to yell at somebody else’s dog (big or small) if they jumped up on me. If it happened to be in their house, than i would just simply leave. Can’t believe you considered reporting her for this.

Health Visitors don’t wear uniforms……. Trip trap

Omg FFS YABU. Control your dog.

Yabvu.
I’d really hate to be in her shoes 🙄

How hard would it have been for you to hold the dog out of her way, knowing it’s so poorly behaved?