Should I report my health visitor? She shouted at my dog in my home?

[Anon1998]

We own a very excitable boxer dog, he gets excited by new faces and jumps up at strangers. For this reason, we keep him outside in a part of garden that’s fenced off when health professionals come, or another family member sits with him.

We've recently lost our spare front door key and my partner had took the front door key out with him. The health visitor turned up 25 minutes early. A family member was walking past and asked if they should call me as I hadn’t answered the door yet. I realised at this point I couldn’t let her in front door, and the dog was out the back.

I let her in the back gate and my dog, visibly excited, jumped up at the health visitor, leaving mud on her uniform. Far from ideal as I work in health care myself! She then shouted at my dog in a really abrupt, aggressive tone. Also, she called me someone else’s name the entire visit! If she had given me warning she was coming early I could have put my dog in a separate part of the garden which he can’t get out of. (I didn’t do this as she was about to walk off due to me not answering door
Immediately, I heard a family member pass asking if she wanted them to ring me, so I hurried to let her in back garden before she dashed off).

After she rang in for a new uniform, the visit began. She bombarded me with questions about how my dog is around my son, and 9 month old niece (already discussed he is calm and fine around children in previous visits). Her reasoning for this was because she said it took him a while to get off her whilst she shouted at him. Family members have said it’s unlikely that an excited dog is going to listen to a stranger that’s acted aggressive towards them on their “territory”.

I couldn’t have been more apologetic as I knew this would delay her schedule collecting a new uniform. However she raised her voice in my home.

I never normally have an issue with my health visitor however these past 2 visits I’ve felt abit patronised and spoken down too. She just jumps in before allowing me to finish my sentence. My son is teething and she asked if I’d given him anything, I replied “calpol”,
before I had the chance to say I’d only given him it on two occasions when I couldn’t get teething gel, she jumped in, telling me not to give him harsh stuff straight away. If she’d let me continue, I would of explained. She’s asked me if I have any info on weaning, I explained I help a lot with my niece whose weaning and have some books too. She warned me to ensure their up to date, I’m aware it’s her job to do this, but it’s the tone and way she says things. I wish she’d take some of my ideas on board before immediately shutting them down and enforcing her own agenda. (She works for NHS so I know she has to provide me guidance on these things as she told me).

I’m aware the stuff with the weaning and calpol is standard for them to check up on, I'm just giving a little background on previous visits. I just don’t like the manner she spoke to my dog in, in my home, around my son.

Apologies for the awful grammar I wrote
this in a hurry!

I know or a very few trusts who provide uniforms for HVs but most don't. Excitable dogs are a bit of a nightmare for community health workers and I can understand why she was asking about the dog around you niece and baby

Yes but you can see her point can't you? What happens if a stranger comes in like she did and your child or niece are nearby and they get knocked over because the dog is jumping on the stranger.

You are so incredibly unreasonable I can't actually believe it's not obvious to you.

You have an out of control dog in your home. Whether or not the dog has (so far) chosen to behave itself around children, clearly it does so of its own volition and not because you have any control of it. She shouted because she felt unsafe and you clearly were not able to put an immediate stop to, let alone prevent, the dog jumping on her. That's a very reasonable and very understandable reaction. Also extremely sensible for her to be asking questions about how safe your children are in a home with a dog you can't control. The story about the key is neither here nor there. Does your dog not wear a collar that you could hold to prevent it jumping on someone? It's also very unsafe to not be able to leave the building by the front door in case of a fire.

The health visitor will have reported the incident with the dog at work because it's a near miss safety incident. If you try and make a complaint about her now, I imagine it will very likely (and quite rightly) be treated as vexatious. If you have genuine concerns about the way that she speaks to you and the quality of the advice she is offering then you are of course within your rights to complain, but the fact you're only interested in doing so now would seem to indicate that you're just cross she shouted at your dog and want to get her in trouble.

You haven't trained your dog, and it didn't occur to you to tell her to wait while you put him somewhere safe?

Sorry but I think yabu and sound exactly like every other dog owner who ends up in the press because their "friendly, harmless" dog bit, a child, or worse.

Are you a bit sleep deprived, not thinking straight at the moment? Were you also a bit flustered by the dog jumping up? The whole visit sounds like a mess.

Being jumped up on by a boxer would make me yell, too. They're heavy and strong dogs. I wouldn't dream of letting anyone in without having control of a dog that size, even if it's just holding their collar.

The fact that you didn't, is going to make her think that you're also not controlling it round your child. It's her actual job to raise such concerns, so complaining about her is unlikely to get you anywhere.

The name thing is annoying, mind.

Our health visitor in the old area didn't but health visitors in the new area do

Why didn't you put it in another room first? I have a very excitable spaniel who loves people and she is always, always, always safely put away when people I don't know come to the door. It's just common sense.

My brother has a very excitable staffie who jumps up all the time so I'm used to it.
However, I am nhs community worker and if someone else's dog jumped up at me unexpected I'd be seriously pissed off!!

She sounds like a knob for other reasons too, but in fairness you shouldn't have allowed your dog to jump up at her. Not everyone likes dogs!

We own a very excitable boxer dog, he gets excited by new faces and jumps up at strangers. For this reason, we keep him outside in a part of garden that’s fenced off when health professionals come, or another family member sits with him. you have a dog which can’t be trusted around strangers.

Having a dog which has to be shut away when people come to the house does not create the impression of it being safe around children.

you say he’s calm around the DC but you don’t actually know that.

You need to train your dog not to jump at people. An occasional slip is understandable, but a dog which is so out of control it has to be shut out of the way has the potential to be dangerous. If you can’t control the dog to that extent then tbh you should rehome it. It’s only a matter of time before it hurts a child. Not necessarily aggressively, but a huge boxer jumping up at an over excited toddler is a recipe for disaster.

I think you should said in your post 'we own a dog that we can't control'. You should have held your dog whilst you let her in the back way, so he couldn't jump up. I'd have been furious too.

You want to report the HV, because your dog jumped all over her, covering her in crap, and could have hurt her?
You're not actually serious here, are you?

I would be furious/afraid if an 'excitable' boxer dog came anywhere near me, never mind jumped up and ruined my uniform. If I knew that dog was around young children, of course I'd ask the parent about it.

Control your bloody dog!

I also work in healthcare and if she had shouted at my dog I would have asked her to leave.
I have boxers myself, so I'm no stranger to bouncy dogs, I visited one house that had a huge Akita type dog and I was genuinely frightened of it, it had me trapped in a corner of the garden for about 3 minutes barking at me before the owners came outside - still didnt shout.

I think she sounds like a cheeky fucker

Having an excitable dog , doesn't make them dangerous Ffs.

I have a large excitable dog and think the HV was completely reasonable re the dog. Maybe not about the other stuff 🤷🏻‍♀️

Um, an excitable big breed of dog with small children around.. yes it does have the potential to be dangerous. Speaking as an experienced big dog owner.

If your dog isn't trained enough to not jump up at a visitor it probably shouldn't be around kids, no wonder she asked about it. That poor woman

I’m a nurse in a community setting, I love dogs, but I still wouldn’t be impressed if one jumped up at me and dirtied my uniform. My dog doesn’t jump up at people unless invited to (I tap my chest and he stands up on his back legs for a hug 😁) and I’d be mortified if he did it to a stranger without permission! I certainly wouldn’t be blaming the person he jumped up at for their reaction.

Why was it up to her to stop your dog jumping on her? She should never have had to get to the point of shouting because you should have controlled your own dog.

Jesus Wept. train your dog, you are hugely in the wrong here.

I don't think you should report her for her reaction to be jumped up at. Boxers can be excitable so you should train him to be calm around visitors.

However, you obviously don't get on with her so just cancel any further visits - you are not obliged to have these visits and if you are not finding them useful then there's little point.

Health Visitors in our trust don't have uniforms - was she an actual HV or a maternity support worker of some description?

Did you correct her if she called you the wrong name? Mistakes happen.

Are you seriously considering reporting her because she reacted to your dog jumping up at her? You should not have opened the gate if you knew the dog would react that way, why couldn't you or the family member call out to her to wait until the dog was secured?

As for her 'manner' I imagine she was pissed off about the dog jumping up and a bit off her game. You sound over sensitive about the advice she gave you - you don't have to take it, or even see a HV if you don't want to.

I haven’t had particularly good experiences with health visitors either and I’d definitely take what they say with a pinch of salt. I’d have shouted at your dog too though and would’ve been really annoying a dog have jumped up on me. I’d also question how safe your child is around the dog

How do people not realise how unacceptable it is for their dogs to be jumping at other people? Ever. Train your dog. Ensure it cannot jump at people until you have done so.

Oh no, another level of preciousness. Someone shouted at a dog.