Should I report my health visitor? She shouted at my dog in my home?

[Anon1998]

We own a very excitable boxer dog, he gets excited by new faces and jumps up at strangers. For this reason, we keep him outside in a part of garden that’s fenced off when health professionals come, or another family member sits with him.

We've recently lost our spare front door key and my partner had took the front door key out with him. The health visitor turned up 25 minutes early. A family member was walking past and asked if they should call me as I hadn’t answered the door yet. I realised at this point I couldn’t let her in front door, and the dog was out the back.

I let her in the back gate and my dog, visibly excited, jumped up at the health visitor, leaving mud on her uniform. Far from ideal as I work in health care myself! She then shouted at my dog in a really abrupt, aggressive tone. Also, she called me someone else’s name the entire visit! If she had given me warning she was coming early I could have put my dog in a separate part of the garden which he can’t get out of. (I didn’t do this as she was about to walk off due to me not answering door
Immediately, I heard a family member pass asking if she wanted them to ring me, so I hurried to let her in back garden before she dashed off).

After she rang in for a new uniform, the visit began. She bombarded me with questions about how my dog is around my son, and 9 month old niece (already discussed he is calm and fine around children in previous visits). Her reasoning for this was because she said it took him a while to get off her whilst she shouted at him. Family members have said it’s unlikely that an excited dog is going to listen to a stranger that’s acted aggressive towards them on their “territory”.

I couldn’t have been more apologetic as I knew this would delay her schedule collecting a new uniform. However she raised her voice in my home.

I never normally have an issue with my health visitor however these past 2 visits I’ve felt abit patronised and spoken down too. She just jumps in before allowing me to finish my sentence. My son is teething and she asked if I’d given him anything, I replied “calpol”,
before I had the chance to say I’d only given him it on two occasions when I couldn’t get teething gel, she jumped in, telling me not to give him harsh stuff straight away. If she’d let me continue, I would of explained. She’s asked me if I have any info on weaning, I explained I help a lot with my niece whose weaning and have some books too. She warned me to ensure their up to date, I’m aware it’s her job to do this, but it’s the tone and way she says things. I wish she’d take some of my ideas on board before immediately shutting them down and enforcing her own agenda. (She works for NHS so I know she has to provide me guidance on these things as she told me).

I’m aware the stuff with the weaning and calpol is standard for them to check up on, I'm just giving a little background on previous visits. I just don’t like the manner she spoke to my dog in, in my home, around my son.

Apologies for the awful grammar I wrote
this in a hurry!

I would shout at your dog in that situation !!

but go on, add to the woman’s day by putting in a complaint!!!

wow

Has it crossed your mind that she might’ve been scared? I might’ve been too.

I hate that “don’t worry he’s friendly” shit.

You showed her that you have a dog that you can't control.

Although the dog is usually calm around children, if you can't control it when it gets excited or upset, a child could get hurt. She is right to be concerned and you should be too.

(For context: I'm a dog owner myself and have children.)

"the only issue here is yet another HV treating a woman like a dim child"

She's acting like one , don't blame the HV

Guarantee she has been short with you in the past because it's not the first time your dog has pissed her off. I'd have refused to visit you. If you complain they will all know you are trying to arse cover in case she reports you to SS about the dog.

As lots of pp have said, the old "but it was so kind around kids" bullshit. Dogs are not human , a lot of dim dog owners forget this fact. Respect that it's an animal.

Should you report her? You're joking right? She should be reporting you to her supervisor for staff safety reasons for any subsequent visits, that there is an out of control dog in the house.

I work with a community nurse who already had a bad hip. She slipped in a clients house, on a wet patch and ended up of work for 9 months. A large, heavy dog leaping up could easily do the same to someone.

I'd be terrified if a big boxer jumped on me and I love boxers. But they are very big dogs and you don't know any dogs temperament if you don't know the dog itself.

She was probably out of sorts during the visit due to the situation which happened ie getting pounced on by a strange dog.

Why do you think you're right? What knowledge do you have on health visitors and uniform?

You're actually very wrong. Different trusts do different things. Some do wear uniform, some don't.

Pretty sure none of this happened - but on the off chance it did - I am reiterating @Viviennemary 's post above.

"I think more like the Health visitor should be expressing her concern over your dog to the relevant authorities. She is also there to ensure a baby is in a safe environment."

*off

I don't think you can really blame her for shouting when unexpectedly leapt on by a large excitable dog. I'd yell at my own if they jump up me with muddy paws and wouldn't blame a stranger for doing the same, especially since she was taken by surprise.

Some of us nhs workers are sick of dogs. I've been bitten 3 times, had my own clothes ripped and don't get reimbursed for that. I refuse to enter a house if the dog is not under control.

You are lucky she didn't report you.

Your dog should be fully trained. If you cannot control your dog you should not have one. Id be pissed off to. Health visitor was right to shout at the dog since you cant control it. Complain about the health visitor all you want. It won’t get you anywhere. As for health visitors concerns about your dog around children given its reaction around health visitor Id be concerned to. Your naive to ever fully trust an animal around your child.

If there are no concerns raised that's a normal amount of visits in the early days.

The other 2 contacts are development checks at 9-12 months and 2 years and are often done by community nursery nurses.

All dogs are "great with kids" right up until the point they take the face off a passing one in a moment of excitement.

Train your dog FFS

I would've reacted the same way and she's right to question you about the dog near children.

Hopefully she’s already reported you and flagged up her concerns.

Unless there's more going on with this family, in which case, disengaging from the HV service would be a very bad idea. This home sounds a bit chaotic, who knows, there may be safeguarding concerns.

You have a large breed dog. It's incredible that you think it's OK for it to jump up at people. Train your dog FFS. Anyone would have shouted in that position, she was probably terrified. And absolutely correct to question its behaviour around children since you have no control whatsoever and have an untrained dog. If it jumped up at a child it would knock it over

I'm sorry but I don't see anything wrong whatsoever with shouting at a dog that's jumped up at you.

First off, people whose jobs involve going into people's homes frequently encounter aggression from dogs, so it would be normal for her to be extra-cautious. But the fact is, your dog was badly behaved towards her and you were incapable of stopping him in the moment (the reason doesn't actually matter, the fact is, he jumped up and you didn't stop him so she had to). What else was she supposed to do?

She does sound very annoying and opinionated and incapable of listening, but that's a completely separate issue.

Thankfully we don't have Health Visitors here where I am as I find them so intrusive and insulting. We women have been birthing children and raising children for centuries. We are and have mothers, sisters, aunts, grandparents, great aunts etc. Even the internet. As well as GPs. I'd bin having a HV altogether.

A breed of dog know for being aggressive jumped on the hv and didn’t listen when called off and you’re thinking the problem is that she shouted?! I think you’re lucky she was so polite she stayed.

OP
If I was the HV I'd demand that your dog was kept under control or I would not visit and charge you the fee for the cleaning of my uniform and possibly taking action against you for scatring the s out of me.

I fear to think what would happen if a frail person came to your home and the dog ran and jumped on them

Keep your dog under control or don't open the door until you know you have the ability to control it

Today me and my OH out for a wlak by the river these two little ankel attackers were allower to sniff my ankles etc and f knows where their nose had been the owner said sorry but she was not as the fool had them on one of those jokers leash and could have easily pulled in the dogs.

Hopefully you will be more alert re your dog and your cpapacity to conttol it

She doesn’t sound very nice but I’ve always found Boxers to be excitable, verging on aggressive and I’d be terrified if one jumped up at me.

So your dog can't be trusted with strangers.

How the hell can it be trusted safely with children then.

You are being so incredibly unreasonable this must be a wind up.

Calpol advise she gave you was correct. She probably kept rushing and butting in because she wanted to leave after being covered in mud by an out of control dog for Christ sake.

You might not have needed a health visitor but some women do need support from them. So not everyone coping well Im afriad.