Should I report my health visitor? She shouted at my dog in my home?

[Anon1998]

We own a very excitable boxer dog, he gets excited by new faces and jumps up at strangers. For this reason, we keep him outside in a part of garden that’s fenced off when health professionals come, or another family member sits with him.

We've recently lost our spare front door key and my partner had took the front door key out with him. The health visitor turned up 25 minutes early. A family member was walking past and asked if they should call me as I hadn’t answered the door yet. I realised at this point I couldn’t let her in front door, and the dog was out the back.

I let her in the back gate and my dog, visibly excited, jumped up at the health visitor, leaving mud on her uniform. Far from ideal as I work in health care myself! She then shouted at my dog in a really abrupt, aggressive tone. Also, she called me someone else’s name the entire visit! If she had given me warning she was coming early I could have put my dog in a separate part of the garden which he can’t get out of. (I didn’t do this as she was about to walk off due to me not answering door
Immediately, I heard a family member pass asking if she wanted them to ring me, so I hurried to let her in back garden before she dashed off).

After she rang in for a new uniform, the visit began. She bombarded me with questions about how my dog is around my son, and 9 month old niece (already discussed he is calm and fine around children in previous visits). Her reasoning for this was because she said it took him a while to get off her whilst she shouted at him. Family members have said it’s unlikely that an excited dog is going to listen to a stranger that’s acted aggressive towards them on their “territory”.

I couldn’t have been more apologetic as I knew this would delay her schedule collecting a new uniform. However she raised her voice in my home.

I never normally have an issue with my health visitor however these past 2 visits I’ve felt abit patronised and spoken down too. She just jumps in before allowing me to finish my sentence. My son is teething and she asked if I’d given him anything, I replied “calpol”,
before I had the chance to say I’d only given him it on two occasions when I couldn’t get teething gel, she jumped in, telling me not to give him harsh stuff straight away. If she’d let me continue, I would of explained. She’s asked me if I have any info on weaning, I explained I help a lot with my niece whose weaning and have some books too. She warned me to ensure their up to date, I’m aware it’s her job to do this, but it’s the tone and way she says things. I wish she’d take some of my ideas on board before immediately shutting them down and enforcing her own agenda. (She works for NHS so I know she has to provide me guidance on these things as she told me).

I’m aware the stuff with the weaning and calpol is standard for them to check up on, I'm just giving a little background on previous visits. I just don’t like the manner she spoke to my dog in, in my home, around my son.

Apologies for the awful grammar I wrote
this in a hurry!

Anon
I have a scar on my hand from a family friendly dog
I wasn’t even looking or talking at the dog. It just jumped up and sunk its teeth into my hand.

Train your dog. You could have put them on a lead or put them in a bedroom.

She is right to question the dog and child.
You don't know her allergies or phobias.

Yes, some do. They do in our local area.

The other stuff she sounds like she was unsettled. Maybe don't complain but ask for a different one or even better contact her and ask to speak to her on the phone.
Apologise for the dog and TELL her that she might not have intended to come across as judgemental but she was -and you appreciate it was totally your fault about the dog but that a more supportive tone would be much more appreciated.

FFS OP. Control your bloody dog, organise yourself better and have some bloody empathy. She probably has a huge workload and hadn’t factored in some badly trained giant mutt leaping on her with filthy paws and a uniform change. This is her job, not a social visit. I would have been absolutely fuming with you (and I’m a dog lover). She isn’t to know your dog is safe around children and she’s have been absolutely remiss NOT to ask you about it.

I think you just need to accept you’re in the wrong, apologise and then get a bloody grip. And train or rehome the “excitable” animal.

Don't think OP is coming back ! Pretty unanimous YABU unsurprisingly

So far . It's clearly untrained, and you sound far too complacent.

Get a grip and train your dog to not jump at strangers.

This. Absolutely hate it when other people's dogs jump up. Hate it

@economicervix

So sorry I misread something. I'll hand myself into the police right now shall I?

OP does say that she normally does keep the dog under control. Once incident does not make her a cap dog owner, contrary to the opinion on mumsnet.

Depends where you are yes they do. My close friends are HV and wear scrubs.

So you didn't rush out the back and say hang on, let me put the dog away.

You didn't say to your family member tel her I'm just putting the dog away.

You didn't even hold on to your dog.

Instead you let a large dog run up and jump up a woman who for all you know might be terrified of dogs.

You didn't grab the dog immediately because she commented on having to shout several times at him.

And you're upset because she shouted in your garden?

Would you prefer her to have screamed, burst into tears and had a panic attack?

As you know everything any way, you're not actually obliged to have a HV so perhaps just cancel

Yes they do in our area too. They were scrubs!

I'm an HCP. If your dog had done that to me I'd have cancelled the visit and would return when your dog was under control. I think YWBU to report her for that.

So many dog owners seem to assume that because they don't mind the dog jumping up noone else needs to mind either.

This is what I absolutely cannot bear about (some) dog owners. And when a dog is coming towards me, I don't know whether it's a jumper, or whether its owner is like this. Yuck. And then the rage you get when you say "keep your dog out of my personal space (please)" or similar. I like dogs. People think I don't. It's (most of the) dog-people I'm not keen on. Plus being jumped on, scratched, clothes dirtied or spoilt (all have happened). And my small children (when they were)? Nope. No.

I will note that there seem to be quite a lot of dog-people on Mumsnet who are the sort I am keen on, who are very quick to call out poor dog-ownership and poor dog-etiquette, and I really appreciate that, and I am fortunate to live in an area where the similar is true IRL. Not so much where I have lived previously. And a couple of ex-family members who couldn't be bothered to either control or remove their dogs around my small children. And the dog-bore I was sat next to at last weekend at a party. Go away.

This

Hmmm I’m in two minds about this. We own a large, “bouncy” dog, a soft breed well renowned for being great family dogs & brilliant with children. He can be excitable & jumpy. However, it wouldn’t “take a while” for him to get down or off someone when told, especially if being shouted at, so this part of your post is concerning. At best, your dog needs some firm training, and intervention, quickly. Probably with an experienced dog trainer who can spot difficult behaviour and address it appropriately, before any accidents between dog & child occur.

Honestly, I think the rest of her visit may have gone differently if your dog had have been well mannered. So to be honest, in this situation I think you’d be jumping the gun by making a complaint about her.

I love boxer dogs. We used to have a very bouncy one and when young she would jump up at people. They would scream which made her more excited so she'd jump higher. Worst thing you can do to an overexcited dog is scream and shout. However I don't think you can really hold it against her. It may have made her jump, she may be scared of dogs or just not know how to handle them. Probably very annoying too if she got covered in mud.
I suppose you could request a different health visitor if you find her a condescending no it all though. Would annoy me if I felt I was being spoken down to.

I absolutely love dogs and have a massive bouncy one myself - but I would have been very pissed off if this has happened to me.

I probably wouldn’t have shouted at the dog but I would have probably shouted at you.

All you had to do was go around the back and say sorry I was expecting you this early. My front door isn’t opening so you’ll have to come around the back once I’ve put my dog away (or held on to it as he passed).

You were at fault here.
You need to just accept it and stop trying to find fault where there is none.

@Ellatella Know it all... sorry couldn't resist😀

I think people are forgetting the HV was almost half an hour early, the OP DIDN'T HAVE TIME to secure the dog. Because the HV was almost half an hour early. So the posters going off at the OP for this are being unfair. She has said the is the first time it's happened and she has secured the dog before.
The HV was early, OP didn't have time. And clearly, from what the OP has said, this is just a straw or perhaps the last straw in the way the HV has treated the OP for awhile.

She had time. She could have said "bear with me 2 minutes, I'm putting the dog away" then put Bingo away...

Unfortunately HCP have awful communication styles which generally worsens over time. I would definitely report her behaviour back to her/her boss.

This. ^

Even on your own property it is your responsibility to control your dog