Should I report my health visitor? She shouted at my dog in my home?

[Anon1998]

We own a very excitable boxer dog, he gets excited by new faces and jumps up at strangers. For this reason, we keep him outside in a part of garden that’s fenced off when health professionals come, or another family member sits with him.

We've recently lost our spare front door key and my partner had took the front door key out with him. The health visitor turned up 25 minutes early. A family member was walking past and asked if they should call me as I hadn’t answered the door yet. I realised at this point I couldn’t let her in front door, and the dog was out the back.

I let her in the back gate and my dog, visibly excited, jumped up at the health visitor, leaving mud on her uniform. Far from ideal as I work in health care myself! She then shouted at my dog in a really abrupt, aggressive tone. Also, she called me someone else’s name the entire visit! If she had given me warning she was coming early I could have put my dog in a separate part of the garden which he can’t get out of. (I didn’t do this as she was about to walk off due to me not answering door
Immediately, I heard a family member pass asking if she wanted them to ring me, so I hurried to let her in back garden before she dashed off).

After she rang in for a new uniform, the visit began. She bombarded me with questions about how my dog is around my son, and 9 month old niece (already discussed he is calm and fine around children in previous visits). Her reasoning for this was because she said it took him a while to get off her whilst she shouted at him. Family members have said it’s unlikely that an excited dog is going to listen to a stranger that’s acted aggressive towards them on their “territory”.

I couldn’t have been more apologetic as I knew this would delay her schedule collecting a new uniform. However she raised her voice in my home.

I never normally have an issue with my health visitor however these past 2 visits I’ve felt abit patronised and spoken down too. She just jumps in before allowing me to finish my sentence. My son is teething and she asked if I’d given him anything, I replied “calpol”,
before I had the chance to say I’d only given him it on two occasions when I couldn’t get teething gel, she jumped in, telling me not to give him harsh stuff straight away. If she’d let me continue, I would of explained. She’s asked me if I have any info on weaning, I explained I help a lot with my niece whose weaning and have some books too. She warned me to ensure their up to date, I’m aware it’s her job to do this, but it’s the tone and way she says things. I wish she’d take some of my ideas on board before immediately shutting them down and enforcing her own agenda. (She works for NHS so I know she has to provide me guidance on these things as she told me).

I’m aware the stuff with the weaning and calpol is standard for them to check up on, I'm just giving a little background on previous visits. I just don’t like the manner she spoke to my dog in, in my home, around my son.

Apologies for the awful grammar I wrote
this in a hurry!

I agree with PP I'm afraid. A dog that can't be trusted around strangers is a dog which isn't properly trained, and a big, untrained dog is a potential risk.

I'm not saying your dog IS dangerous, but if he isn't well trained enough not to jump up at people, he isn't well trained enough to stop if you saw him behaving concerningly around children(/anyone else).

I used to live with a boxer (owned by family member). He was huge and would bounce around for fun, but one hand gesture from my family member and he would stop and lay down. He was trained not to jump up from puppyhood, would drop anything on command, and I've seen him go from a full sprint at a squirrel to a dead stop and lay down on the say-so of his owner.

So many people think that 'oh he's just excitable' is an excuse: it's not. Your dog should be taught how to handle external influences - strangers, kids touching them, new situations, noises - and taught to react to commands from their owners.

There are too many stories of 'But he was always a lovely natured dog?!' - yep, a lot of them are until they're not, until a stranger reacts badly to them jumping up and scares them and they panic. Train your fucking dogs.

I'd be annoyed too , having to piss about and arrange a change of clothes . I find people that make excuses for poor behaviour in dogs generally come unstuck at some point.

She may well have reported you though for having an out of control dog around young children. She’s most likely requested to not have to attend your house again. I know I would.

YABU.

It's your job to control your dog. As others have said, you could have opened door/gate a peep so say to her 'let me just put the dog away', held it's collar, or anything. FYI, shutting a dog away so it can't jump over people is a short term solution - you should be training it. I get it's difficult with boxers, they are an excitable breed, but surely you knew what you were taking on, it's what you signed up for, to have to train the dog?

I'm a dog person, but some boxers are absolutely massive, and when jumping up, can scratch, catch you with the force of their paws and hurt you. I've had my lip cut and bleeding by the paw of a sighthound mix who was jumping up out of 'excitement'. It's not on. And I'm not even frightened of dogs. Add wariness of strange dogs into the mix, and it's an out of control dog.

FWIW, with somebodies elses dog jumping all over me. I usually turn away, if the owner is trying to deal with the behaviour, and ignore the dog. If they're not, I have two options: disciple the dog myself, or leave.

Ugh, I HATE it when dog owners act all surprised when people are scared or concerned about their dog that is jumping all over someone, chasing them, barking etc. It can be really scary. You might think your dog is gentle around children but what on earth would make her think that? It wasn't gentle around her. Of course she's going to question it - she wouldn't be doing her job properly if she didn't. And she is rightly more concerned about children's safety than your precious dog's feelings about being shouted at for bad behaviour.

I wouldn’t if I were you because there would then be an investigation and part of it would be looking into the fact you can’t control your large dog and you have small children.

discipline, not disciple.
and somebody's not somebodies.

Don't know how to edit, sorry.

I hope she complains about your out of control dog. Of course she shouted.

You're being ridiculous. Reporting her because she shouted at your dog when it was jumping up at her and you couldnt control it 🤦‍♀️

I would have several questions about the dog being around your baby if I was her. She is a healthcare professional and is aware or how dangerous dogs can be around babies. Get over yourself.

Just decline future visits, I did with both my girls as I didn't find HVs useful at all.

Your dog was out of control. No wonder she shouted.
And if your dog behaves like this when someone new comes then it’s not always calm around the kids and they could be at risk.
YABU not to control/train your dog.

Primarily your HV visits your home for safeguarding reasons. Your Hv is suitably concerned given her experience with your dog.
I understand the situation, I have a boxer dog who's an absolute dick (he truly is!) He isn't in the home when the HV visits.
We've discussed this, and she knows I'm proactive in my approach to the babies relationship with the dog because of his personality.
She trusts me because I've had reasonable enough consideration for situations the dog would and would not handle.

I think its worth a conversation. Its entirely possible that she is judging all of your decisions now she's had the red flag of the dog who probably in her mind attacked her. A dog over 30kg jumping on me if I wasn't a dog person would be quite alarming.

I work in healthcare myself, no matter what the situation, i wouldn’t act aggressive or shout in a clients house

and if a dog you didn’t know was jumping up and acting aggressively how would you react ?

I wouldn't report I would try and avoid future visits - maybe getting to clinic they often run instead.

HV turning up early was always my experience - often hours - then after a house move got one that just turned up when she felt like it which I hated unfortunately that one was also very onioned and not helpful.

I think if your report there may be more issues than if you don't.

My HV barely showed up at all, I think I only got two visits <misses point>

Ohhh how silly of her not to magically know this

Not sure what you’re thinking of reporting her for. I’d shout at a dog that leapt at me too, in an attempt to get it to stop doing so. Maybe in future think about how to keep it under control, taking into account that people might arrive at your home unexpectedly.

No you should not report the health visitor for snapping at your out of control dog. Jesus.

Every single person who owns a dog that has ended up mauling their child has said this. Your dog is out of control and you should have had them on a leash. I would have shouted and your dog, too, because you were clearly doing nothing to handle the situation.

You need to control your dog.

You claim the dog is just excitable, and is ok around your children. But it’s really not ok to let your dog jump up at someone, I’ve been running in public and had dogs chase me, jump up at me and similar. It’s bloody scary! Plus, it might be ok today, but there may come a day where your dog just snaps and goes for someone. You need to train your dog better.

You have an excitable boxer dog you can’t control and a baby, it sounds like an accident waiting to happen.
No wonder she asked so many questions.

I'm sorry but have you considered that she may have been frightened of your dog and then looking out for your baby? You sound very unreasonable to me

Another shitty dog owner who can't be bothered to control or train their animal. I absolutely hate dogs jumping up at me and would have shouted at it too. Awful.

I’m not a dog person and would have hated this, especially in a work environment. People always think that everyone has to love their dogs. They don’t. I’m not surprised she was asking how the safety of your child around a dog like that either.