Should I report my health visitor? She shouted at my dog in my home?

[Anon1998]

We own a very excitable boxer dog, he gets excited by new faces and jumps up at strangers. For this reason, we keep him outside in a part of garden that’s fenced off when health professionals come, or another family member sits with him.

We've recently lost our spare front door key and my partner had took the front door key out with him. The health visitor turned up 25 minutes early. A family member was walking past and asked if they should call me as I hadn’t answered the door yet. I realised at this point I couldn’t let her in front door, and the dog was out the back.

I let her in the back gate and my dog, visibly excited, jumped up at the health visitor, leaving mud on her uniform. Far from ideal as I work in health care myself! She then shouted at my dog in a really abrupt, aggressive tone. Also, she called me someone else’s name the entire visit! If she had given me warning she was coming early I could have put my dog in a separate part of the garden which he can’t get out of. (I didn’t do this as she was about to walk off due to me not answering door
Immediately, I heard a family member pass asking if she wanted them to ring me, so I hurried to let her in back garden before she dashed off).

After she rang in for a new uniform, the visit began. She bombarded me with questions about how my dog is around my son, and 9 month old niece (already discussed he is calm and fine around children in previous visits). Her reasoning for this was because she said it took him a while to get off her whilst she shouted at him. Family members have said it’s unlikely that an excited dog is going to listen to a stranger that’s acted aggressive towards them on their “territory”.

I couldn’t have been more apologetic as I knew this would delay her schedule collecting a new uniform. However she raised her voice in my home.

I never normally have an issue with my health visitor however these past 2 visits I’ve felt abit patronised and spoken down too. She just jumps in before allowing me to finish my sentence. My son is teething and she asked if I’d given him anything, I replied “calpol”,
before I had the chance to say I’d only given him it on two occasions when I couldn’t get teething gel, she jumped in, telling me not to give him harsh stuff straight away. If she’d let me continue, I would of explained. She’s asked me if I have any info on weaning, I explained I help a lot with my niece whose weaning and have some books too. She warned me to ensure their up to date, I’m aware it’s her job to do this, but it’s the tone and way she says things. I wish she’d take some of my ideas on board before immediately shutting them down and enforcing her own agenda. (She works for NHS so I know she has to provide me guidance on these things as she told me).

I’m aware the stuff with the weaning and calpol is standard for them to check up on, I'm just giving a little background on previous visits. I just don’t like the manner she spoke to my dog in, in my home, around my son.

Apologies for the awful grammar I wrote
this in a hurry!

An ''Excitable'' {Untrained} Boxer dog..
Train it not to leap up at people, it's not difficult.
It's very annoying to be scrabbled at by a dog , Especially one with dirty feet.

I'd absolutely be thinking ''How is this boisterous dog around small children''?

YABU.

I regularly make home visits for work and have done for nearly 25 years. Training on personal safety actually covers dealing with dogs and I have also been taught to use a very firm and abrupt tone with a dog. Probably what you describe as shouting.

YABU - the HV is probably similarly trained as has every right to consider her personal safety while at work in your home

You can't report someone for being annoyed that your big dog jumped on them. You can apologise.

If you don't like the way she speaks to you you should address that but leave her shouting at your out of control dog out.

Shouted at the dog? Quite restrained behavior!

Since when do HVs wear a uniform?

OP, you are totally at fault here, your dog is a menace.
Don't even think of reporting the HV for getting annoyed.

I'm with the HV on this.

I'm not surprised she queried what he was like with the children given how he was with her. I mean, you might have said he was calm around them but her experience would show that might not actually be the case.

This can’t be real.

Im a healthcare worker and perform home visits. I am absolutely terrified of dogs. If this had happened to me, I would have been screaming. I would have left your property and refused to complete the appointment. YABVVVVVU.

She’ll probably request not to come back anyway

I'd hope that she doesn't report you, rather than the other way round. If you own a big excitable dog it is 100% on you to make sure it doesn't jump up at anyone and dirty their clothes, to the point where they have to be the one to shout at it in an aggressive tone because you can't control it.

The fact that you don't get on with her is a seperate issue, and nothing to do with your dog.

Hang a lead near the back gate and near the front door so the dog goes on it before either are opened if you can't control it verbally.

I don't think YABU to dislike her general manner but YABU about the dog, she was right to be concerned and you have to expect people to react if your dog jumps at them.

I bet that will break her heart.

"the maners side of the situation" is that your dog didn't use theirs and she reacted reasonably.

Ooooh, this has been shoved onto the very boring and low-traffic 'other subjects' page. Bad luck @Anon1998

Some do but most don't

Boxers are VERY excitable dogs but they are absolutely amazing with children and also very dopey, I used to own 3 of them!

1 was very easy to train but I had her from a pup, one was stubborn and the other was just a giant idiot 😂 all extremely loving and loyal though and very calm around people they knew but they also were super excited to meet new people and it was a challenge to stop them jumping, we also had a section of our garden fenced off and got them to calm down before letting them say hello.

If you haven’t maybe look into some training lessons around meeting new people or YouTube some training videos on it if you can’t afford it.

I agree that she shouldn’t have been so abrupt but she could be someone who isn’t a fan of dogs, she sounds difficult so if you aren’t feeling comfortable around here the easiest thing would be to request a different HV, we had to with our first as the lady they assigned me was very dominant and forceful with me, I always ended up in tears whenever she visited!

It all sounds quite chaotic in your house. Please don't report the HV.

Sorry, meant to quote the previous message about uniforms: most HVs don't wear uniforms but some trusts do

Control your bloody dog.

@Anon1998

I work in healthcare myself, no matter what the situation, i wouldn’t act aggressive or shout in a clients house. I think it’s more the manners side of the situation. We’re not going to report her but are going to request a new health visitor potentially.

Wow, you REALLY can't see that you're in the wrong can you?

You do know don't you, that your name is mud now in the health visitor circle? And not ONE of them will be on your side. Not only because the health visitor who came to you is their colleague and friend, but also because you are in the wrong, and she is in the right.

Also, I would expect a social worker to visit fairly soon too, to check on your dog around your baby, because you clearly have no control over you dog, and your baby sounds at risk to me, (with an 'excitable' boxer dog around that you have no control over.)

Many people are scared of dogs. Me included. In fact it is situations like this that has put me off doing jobs that I would otherwise be good at. The nature of the work health and social workers do means they will rarely be exactly on time. It is your job to make sure your dog isn't anywhere near them or that they act in a manner that others might feel intimidated by.

Your other issues, well, it is difficult to tell really. Perhaps her feeling intimidated by your dog on her visits has made her less at ease around you and so less patient.

You'll be lucky if the HV doesn't report the situation as an out of control dog around children, and rightly so. Dogs always are 'fine around the children'...... Until the day they are not. Why don't people understand this, you are either in control of your dog, 100% of the time, or you aren't, and you've just been lucky til now.

You can't report someone for reacting to a bad mannered dog, in your house or not.

You can request a new health visitor though if you're not gelling.

You’re being utterly ridiculous

Of course she needs to check how the dog is with the baby, as you clearly are incapable of managing it.

HVs jn my area wear uniform since covid so they can be washed at a high temp