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Original poster

Mil has told dp to pack his stuff and leave.

138 replies

ShakeysGirl · 03/01/2008 18:10

She is the most frustrating, spiteful person i have ever had the misfortune of knowing. Dp stays at mine 5 nights a week but he has his dinner with her and his dad every night. This morning we decided it would be nice to have our dinner together, so he calls his dad and explains he wouldn't be there this evening. She has just text him saying if you can't be home for dinner then pack your stuff and leave! Wtf? Hes gutted. I've been sympathetic but have refrained from giving my opinion on her.

OP posts:
LadyTophamHatt · 04/01/2008 16:30

years ago, before we were married, before we were even living together, a work collegue said " You do realise that She (Dh's mum) will always be a problem for you, don't you?"

I said yes, becaue I knew she would be.
That was a probably 10 years ago....

She died last year and the only reason I cried was because it meant I was finally free. She couldn't "get to me" anymore and the tears were through utter relief.

My advise to you is to bail out now or prepare for a very long a difficult path.

wannaBe · 04/01/2008 16:41

but if he hasn't grown up at 27 it's not going to happen is it?

which would you rather have wasted, the past year or the next 10.

lulumama · 04/01/2008 16:42

that is really very sad, LTH

LadyTophamHatt · 04/01/2008 16:47

lulu, if you've got a few hours I'll tell you what a mess my head is in because of her too.

Honestly, the woman was awful. She hated me nd everything about me.

The one thing I am grateful to her about is that she taught me how to be a good MIL a very long time before I ever would be. She didn't give a rats arse how unhappy she made anyone least of all me and her son....

lulumama · 04/01/2008 16:49

shameful behaviour... people can be so cruel.. and worse when it is done conciously.

ivykaty44 · 04/01/2008 16:58

I love him i really do and i know how good things could be if he just grew up

This says - I love who he would be if only he would change and be different.

Don't try and change him he will not change and it will only be heart ache for you as he is not the person you love but someone you want him to be.

TillyScoutsmum · 04/01/2008 17:18

Its all very well loving him but you don't trust him and you surely can't respect him ?? IMO a relationship needs all 3 of those things to be able to survive.

It sounds like he needs some counselling asap... It also sounds like you are "settling" for someone and may have a few self esteem issues of your own.

If you are not reading to run now - I would come up with a 12 month plan (i.e. save money for deposit on a flat, move out of mothers, get some counselling for self esteem, grow a spine etc) and if he shows no signs of doing any of these things, at lease you won't waste years and years of your life on him

As pp have said - the relationships your mum has do really shape you as a child so don't underestimate what this could be doing to your dc's.....

TillyScoutsmum · 04/01/2008 17:20

"ready to run"

Jackstini · 06/01/2008 20:56

Glad you are free now LTH and sorry to hear you had that for 10 years. You must have a v good relationship with dh!
So SG - what stage are you at now?

ladytophamhatt · 07/01/2008 09:59

I am free because shes not here anymore but she did leave me with a whole lot of mess in my mind.

Something I should try and sort out but don't want to dig up again...she caused enough trouble when she was here so i don't want to start it again because thats excatly what she'd want.

I did not and will not let her win.

ladytophamhatt · 07/01/2008 10:05

SG, I'd never wnat anyone to have a MIL like I did.

I'd really think long and hard about going through it again....

(sorry about the hi-jack btw)

Tinkerbel6 · 08/01/2008 20:59

may his mother is fed up with him treating the house like a hotel, sounds like he has the best of both worlds, his mum to do his washing and cook his meals, a job which is a paid social life and a girlfriends with her own house to spend the night with, a bit of coffee, waking up and smelling wouldnt go amiss

QuintessentialShadow · 08/01/2008 21:16

But you know what:
By ShakeysGirl on Thu 03-Jan-08 18:56:21
He has 2 jobs, one in a bar and one as a singer\dj he goes out alot so doesn't save up. He seems to think hes 17 in his head and this is how his mother treats him. She puts him down alot, tells him he's fat and useless, he's often in tears about it. Nothing he ever does is good enough. He is always the life and soul but know one knows what he is really like underneath, his self esteem is rock bottom and his mother plays on it to get what she wants.

It sounds like somebody I know.
If his mum is a nurse and his sister is younger than him, run run run a mile!

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