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Original poster

Are taking drugs and being a good parent mutually exclusive then?

461 replies

wanderlust · 05/12/2007 21:00

I don't want to get told off lots or start a fight, its just that I (along with most of my friends - parents or not) will take drugs every now and then, but I am aware that the people I know are not necessarily representative of what's really normal or acceptable - so what does everyone really think?

OP posts:
theUrbanDryad · 05/12/2007 21:39

and let's take the argument away from cannabis for a bit.

your kids are with their dad for the weekend. they are in safe hands. you go to a party and do a line of coke, or a bit of ecstacy. you've done it before, you know what to expect. you don't feel bad the next day. you've had a good night.

who's the loser here?? really?

how is it any different to going to a party and having a few bottles of wine?

(and before anyone bleats about it being illegal, i really don't think the police bother too much about occasional recreational drug use. no, really)

SantasUnderGodzillasBumcheek · 05/12/2007 21:40

That's why i didn't, tripot.

stripeymama · 05/12/2007 21:40

I don't think reacreational drug use is always a problem - its been around for millenia, its one of those human nature things to want to explore altered states of consciousness IMO.

I certainly don't think my child suffers from the fact that I will have the odd spliff or line of coke - I have been managing to 'control it' for ten years, despite living on the streets and in a crackhouse in london as a teenager.

I know that not everyone can control their drug use but for those who can do so and still function as a parent, I don't think its really that big a deal.

theUrbanDryad · 05/12/2007 21:41

ooh Kittylette, x posts again!

actually, cannabis is a very grey area, legally. i don't even know the legalities of it these days.

but i do know that so long as you're not stood in a school playground with a big ole doobie on, no-one's going to hassle you really

ShakeysGirl · 05/12/2007 21:41

Cannabis can cause psychological problems. Why risk it? It may be harmless to you and your children now but what about in the future? Its not responsible parenting in my opinion. I used to smoke it pre children but now my priorities have changed and i prefere to put my children first.

stripeymama · 05/12/2007 21:42

Oh cock well thats the end of my (probably unnecessary and narcissistic) attempt at namechanging then.

theUrbanDryad · 05/12/2007 21:43

that's a very good point stripeymama

how do the anti-drugs faction feel about liberty caps (magic mushrooms)? they're totally natural, legal (so long as you take them fresh and don't cure or dry them) and produce a mellow, easily controllable high. much like...ooh! alcohol! and cannabis!!

tribpot · 05/12/2007 21:43

Not having a go at anyone on this thread, Santas, definitely not. I'm just saying that in this regard, til you've been there you just don't know.

Personally I have no desire to indulge in drugs (other than wine, another story!) and the one time I did (in Amsterdam) it was horrific. Whether illegal or not, we have to deal with the reality of having methadone in the home, fentanyl in the home, and make these things secure so that ds can't get to them. It's horrible, I wish we had an alternative, but we don't.

theUrbanDryad · 05/12/2007 21:44

stripeymama were you wanderlust?? confused now! (no, i'm not on drugs. well, i had a rum and coke earlier with dinner, does that count?)

LadySnowsAlot · 05/12/2007 21:44

actually i think cannabis can induce some psychological problems. no one is sure if they cause them.

UnquietDad · 05/12/2007 21:45

The problem is (and I feel this argument is so well-rehearsed it is positively in need of a couple of Pro-Plus, but never mind) that with illegal pharmaceuticals, moderation is no safeguard.

The odd drink is always going to be fine unless you are an alcoholic or have a severe allergic reaction to alcohol. Alcohol is a monitored substance, and you're not going to die (previous caveats given) from a bottle of wine bought off the shelf at Oddbins. Not unless you try seriously hard to abuse it and choke on your own puke, or something. On the other hand, a wrap of powder or a pill slipped to you by a bloke in a club (or a friend, who got it from one) could well be lethal. People have literally no idea what is in it.

I repeat - moderation is no safeguard. Sorry to sound preachy, but that is the main difference.

It's the kind of thing people do when they are young and stupid, for a laugh. Many of our children will do so. We ought to try and understand that. But someone ought to know better. And that someone ought to be us.

theUrbanDryad · 05/12/2007 21:45

tribpot - i really feel for your situation. does your dh get THC on prescription?

stripeymama · 05/12/2007 21:45

The law is not really much of a factor to people I know TBH - I have only ever known a few people get done for possession, and thats usually when they have been searched or arrested over something else entirely and happened to have drugs on them.

The law on cannabis is doolally these days, nobody understands it.

tribpot · 05/12/2007 21:47

Alcohol can induce psychological problems, chronic pain can induce psychological problems, life can induce psychological problems. I'm not saying it's not a factor, but it depends where you are. It may be worth weighing one risk against another. There's no single right answer to this, I think.

theUrbanDryad · 05/12/2007 21:47

UQD - what if you grow the cannabis yourself? or pick the libery caps from the field?

i agree with you with regards to chemicals, but natural drugs are a whole different matter aren't they?

joyfulspike · 05/12/2007 21:47

I used to drink a lot as a student, but don't now. It's propably once a year at xmas, usually half a lager and lime. I don't see the need for others to do it to excess. I think that's irresponsible. as for drug taking there are better and safer things to do to amuse yourself or whatever the right word is, than smoke weed or whatever. I can't see how anyone can justify recreational drug-use, let alone if they are a parent. Maybe I'm just a big square or behind with the times.

stripeymama · 05/12/2007 21:47

UrbanDryad - I was Wanderlust until I managed to accidentally undo my namechange.

LadySnowsAlot · 05/12/2007 21:47

UQD, you write with great eloquence.

UnquietDad · 05/12/2007 21:48

Most people don't do that, though, do they? Grow their own, I mean.

And if a glass of wine makes me ill - not talking hangover but, say, there was some impurity in it - I have legal recourse. Not so with "drugs", or the seeds I bought to grow them.

ShakeysGirl · 05/12/2007 21:49

Speaking of mushrooms, i saw the film 'shrooms' at the weekend and it scared me half to death! Not relevant to the thread but it just reminded me.

stripeymama · 05/12/2007 21:49

You see, I consider my recreational drug use to be safer than most people's choice to drive a car.

tribpot · 05/12/2007 21:52

UrbanDryad - conventional meds only. He's on a dose that would kill a normal person, I'm not joking. His reaction to opioids is weird, to put it mildly.

SantasUnderGodzillasBumcheek · 05/12/2007 21:52

As DH put it: tobacco leaf is also 'natural' but see how much damage that does.

theUrbanDryad · 05/12/2007 21:54

UQD - you'd be surprised. most of the people i know who smoke weed all get it off one guy, who grows it in his attic. you can go, pick the buds then wait for them to dry and smoke them. i don't know many people who grow their own grapes/hops to make wine/beer.

and IME an excess of alcohol will make you much, much more sick than an excess of cannabis, which will make you go to sleep (unproven psychoses notwithstanding)

LadySnowsAlot · 05/12/2007 21:55

once again, i really think each to their own. we all have different boundaries with our parenting.

basically wanderlust/stripeymama, i think there are always somethings that you do as a parent which aren't acceptable to others. however, they prolly do things which you would deem unacceptable too.

on this thread you will find mostly people disagreeing with you and that is because: firstly, lots of people will strongly disagree with you(!) and, secondly, people who do agree with you may not want to admit it on here for whatever reason.