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Original poster

I'm ashamed that i'm getting the kids gifts from charity shops this christmas

152 replies

ShakeysGirl · 23/11/2007 15:32

But its all i can afford to do. I have £20 per child to spend. I have 2 children and i've decided that for them to get the most out of their money that charity shops are the best option. I feel like such a loser and i'm ashamed of myself. I feel like i am letting them down in some way. I know they are only young (6 & 4) so wont know but i'll know. I feel like i've failed.

OP posts:
tiredemma · 23/11/2007 15:33

what sex are your kids?

belgo · 23/11/2007 15:34

Don't be ashamed! makes financial sense. My children are also receiving second hand gifts this Christmas.

Do not feel like a failure, and you are certainly not letting them down.

TrinityRhino · 23/11/2007 15:34

Please dont be ashamed at all
I regularly buy things from charity shops
you ae right in that they wont know and even if they did why would it bothen them.
It's only you that feels like you should be able to spend more.

The thing will be new to them and thats what is importantto them

also the fact that their wonderful mummy loves them so much that she will go to any length to ensure they have lovely toys for xmas

You are not letting them down

LydiaTheTattooedLapin · 23/11/2007 15:35

Shakey, pls email me - [email protected]

Desiderata · 23/11/2007 15:36

God love you! Be proud. Many people would beg, steal or borrow, but you're sticking to your budget and you're doing what you can, within your means.

Your children will grow up to be wonderful adults because of your example. I wish you the very best of luck sourcing great, well-packaged pressies for them .. and please, you haven't failed.

Quite the opposite. Honestly

Hallgerda · 23/11/2007 15:36

Far better that than make the following year miserable by running up a debt having the perfect family Christmas which generally isn't that great anyway.

Do not feel ashamed of yourself. If you feel bad about going to charity shops (I really don't see why you should), could you make something instead?

Carmenere · 23/11/2007 15:36

Buying within your means is much more honorable than going into a load of debt to give your dc's tat that is finished with by Jan 1st.

TrinityRhino · 23/11/2007 15:36

please make sure and email thetattoedlapin

Desiderata · 23/11/2007 15:36

Oh! and yes, please email lapin.

harleyd · 23/11/2007 15:36

whats to be ashamed about?

put it out of your head, the kids will be pleased with whatever you get them and you will have a great xmas

CrushWithEyeliner · 23/11/2007 15:37

oh don't feel bad please - you are doing the right thing. How many people go into debt to buy ridiculous presents and it means nothing. I have so much respect for what you are doing..

xx

DrBunsentheHarpsichordCarrier · 23/11/2007 15:37

dear lord love you, you MUST NOT be ashamed!
you are doing precisely the right thing, honestly.

glammama · 23/11/2007 15:39

You haven't failed!!!! I think it's a terrible thing that you're feeling that. It's perfectly ok to not have much money to spend.Christmas shoud not be about all the worry and expense. It's about being together as a family. Most children would take time spent with them from their parent(s) over any expensive gift. Could you plan lots of things to do with them that don't cost much? Or just play instead.

Having said all that, I know that you must really want to give them presents. Have you tried freecycle? Is there a group near you?

SpikeandDru · 23/11/2007 15:39

Don't be ashamed - it's great that you are thinking about how to maximise what they are getting. Just think about when they go into places where there are second hand toys kept - doctors surgeries, playgroups, schools, other people's houses etc - none of the toys they see there are new but they are still exciting. My DS wouldn't care where something came from if it was gift wrapped and called "a present" - and he has had his fair share of charity shop toys too.

You are certainly not letting them down.

Gipfeli · 23/11/2007 15:39

Plus of course by buying from the charity you are supporting that charity and increasing their income.

And it's a more environmentally friendly option too to re-use things instead of buying new ones.

LydiaTheTattooedLapin · 23/11/2007 15:40

And I second/third/fourth everyone else's comments - you have NOTHING to be ashamed of!

I'm fully intending to buy DS some second hand stuff next year - no point in getting new garden toys he'll trash - and he'll get twice as much as if I bought new. It's canny and clever, not shameful .

But still email me if you'd like to!

Original poster
ShakeysGirl · 23/11/2007 15:46

I usually use charity shops to get the boys and myself clothes but i guess that because its christmas i should be getting them the best there is especially as there dad and his family go all out to spoil them. I didn't have them last year as it wasn't my turn so spent christmas day alone in bed being miserable so i really wanted this year to be perfect. Am very broke so we are cutting corners on alot of things like christmas dinner we are having a stew which they love. I sound like such a loser

OP posts:
LydiaTheTattooedLapin · 23/11/2007 15:47

Not at ALL, you sound like a very loving mother

tiredemma · 23/11/2007 15:48

Shakey- is it boys that you have? Can you email Lapin please?

CrushWithEyeliner · 23/11/2007 15:50

where are you based SG - maybe I can help?

spanielsmom · 23/11/2007 15:51

Some of the best toys my DS has enjoyed are from Charity Shops, Car Boots, and NCT nearly new sales - I do the same for clothes and often buy them from there.

If you choose good quality prezzies in good condition, they will probably last a long time and become much loved toys. I know that what I remember about my childhood Christmases is that M&D always made Christmas feel special because it was about the family - I cannot remember my gifts from that age, just the feeling of being loved.

Finally, it might sound silly, but what a great way to do your bit for the planet - this is real recycling. I am trying to do this more and more and why not do it for presents as well. Maybe we all need to look at things differently.

camicazi · 23/11/2007 15:51

Don't be ashamed! I have a friend who I would consider to be very well off, and she got a fantastic doll's house and scooter for her kids xmas from a charity shop! She was proud to be such a canny shopper and to be green! I know it's nice to have the choice about doing this, but so much in charity shops is practically brand new (I worked in one for a couple of years and was amazed at the quality of so much of the stuff) and we should all take advantage of that rather than being taken for mugs and buying into all this consumerism.

Roseylea · 23/11/2007 15:52

No you don't!

THere is so much pressure to make christmas "perfect" - magazines and TV ads with perfect women in their perfect homes serving perfect roast turkey to their perfect children who are playing happily with their perfect toys.

Real life is just not like that! (I wouldn't want to it to be).

Just love your dc and be proud of yourself. You are giving them their favourite dinner for christmas day (my two would much rather have sausages and mash than a big roast!) and you are being thoughtful and caring in how you spend your money on them. You sound like a great mum so don't allow these horrible negative thoughts to ruin your sense of who you are.

ImdreamingofaGROUCHYxmas · 23/11/2007 15:52

Do Not Feel Ashamed. Please.

DS is 4, under the attic stairs is packed with games and jigsaws got from Scope and The Salvation Army. He loves them,

He's getting some lego, air rockets and videos from the charity shops this year. Last year he got a preston pig book from Scope.

He is pretty much clothed by the charity shops/sales You'd think we shopped at Next and GAP

You cut your clothes according to your cloth as they say. Plus you are giving to charity and you are stopping stuff going to landfill

Don't feel bad please.

glammama · 23/11/2007 15:53

What part of wanting to give your children the best Christmas makes you a loser???? And it is your Christmas dinner re and you can have whatever you want. (we don't like turkey so we're not having it. And DD has requested potato wedges so we're having them!) Put some Christmas music on and it's a festive dinner. I like the way you are carving out your own path with the resources you have available to you. It sounds like your kids will feel a lot more loved than if you'd just gone to argos and used a credir card.