I'm ashamed that i'm getting the kids gifts from charity shops this christmas

[ShakeysGirl]

But its all i can afford to do. I have £20 per child to spend. I have 2 children and i've decided that for them to get the most out of their money that charity shops are the best option. I feel like such a loser and i'm ashamed of myself. I feel like i am letting them down in some way. I know they are only young (6 & 4) so wont know but i'll know. I feel like i've failed.

I second what everyone else has said. And you know the older toys are generally so much better than modern ones. They're better quality, and it will be nice for your kids to get something different from the endless variations on a theme that you see in the shops today. I only wish we had some decent charity shops in this area and I'd probably be doing the same.

Oh SG, your not a loser your a wonderful mum (even if you want to support France in the footy )

Your children have a mum that loves them and that is worth more then any toy you could ever give them.

There is no shame in shopping in the charity shops and you are helping someone else by doing so.

hi
two christmases ago i bought lots of my children's pressies from white elephant stall at christmas fete including set of golf clubs for 4 quid. hurrah! find the nearest school with the richest parents and go to the christmas bazaar to see what they offload this year..

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hahah!

Shakey..my eldest DS has been mithering us for a Playstation like his friends ( a playstation 3!!) but he is getting an original Playstation that cost us £5 and the games are from Freecycle...he is only 6 even if I had the ££ I wouldn't spend that amount on him ...anyway will drop you an email I have new kids books going spare ..
You are doing great you should be proud no dodgy loans or desperate measures..I found out last week that the bike I got when I was 7 was actually my eldest sisters repainted (by hand!!) hell I didn't know!!

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I'm allergic to the big supermarkets and don't darken their doors unless absolutely necessary as I think they exploit both their staff and their suppliers and cause the independent small businesses to disappear. By buying from charity shops, as others have siad, you're being green, not lining the pockets of those awful multi-nationals and helping poor people rather than leading to their exploitation by buying cheap tat made in sweatshops. I would far rather buy from charity shops, local family businesses and fair-trade shops rather than the homogeneous stuff you get at the big stores, and your children will grow up having a much more balanced view of the world. Also you said their dad had plenty of money to spend on them so they'll be getting the best of both worlds - but as everyone knows, there's no way they'll think more of him just because he can buy bigger and 'better'; children often like the cheapest presents best anyway.

My dd(12) is getting a second-hand bike, as did my ds(8) last birthday. We have the same Christmas decorations that come out every year, and the dc's love unpacking all the tree decorations, some of which date back to mine & dh's childhood, although traditionally we buy a new bauble each year. Then there's the tree lights that we have to remember to check in time to buy spare bulbs. We keep decent wrapping paper & recycle it so have a whole cardboard box of that in the attic, and also use last year's Christmas cards to make name labels for this year. I never quite get round to making Christmas cards, but you could do some simple potato prints or Christmas trees with your dc's - or get them to draw pictures & then scan them. Have a wonderful time - I'm sure it'll be so much more meaningful to them & you're obviously putting so much thought and love into it!

don't feel bad no not at all.
I have a similar budget for my children. Don't get sucked in to thinking you have to spend lots of money to show your children you love them.
I was talking to a friend about a similar thing the other day. We don't have much money, my husband works in the community and social care sector and I'm at home with the children atm.
We live in an area that has moved up dramatically in the ten years we've lived here,and the gap in our earnings compared to some of my mummy friends is quite alarming, and I was worried it might be bad for our children.
My friend, she told me about this book she was reading for her MA about how materialism is somewhat unwittingly being used as a replacement for love and it is detrimental to their emotional growth. It may all sound a bit right on, but it is becoming a well researched issue.I wish I could remember the name of the book.
Anyway, basically you sound lovely and your children must love you to bits for your thoughtfulness - children understand a lot more than we give them credit for sometimes.

First few christmasses the kids got a lot of seond hand stuff. I am better off now but I still get stuff second hand especially books and games. I have got Trivial Pursuits and Monopoly that looked like they had never been played and some great big kids encyclopedias and boxed sets of books. FIL is getting a second hand book this year. Agree pound shops are great for craft stuff and stationary.

Any thing you could sell off yourself before christmas to add to the funds, perhaps inthe local picture, I am trying to get round to putting a pram, stools and some other stuff inthe paper as it is cluttering up the plcae and should make me some cash in time for christmas.

Good tip to go to the most expensive flashest private school's fair you can find near you and raid their second hand toy stall. .

I agree with the others. Nothing to be ashamed about. If you really don't feel like charity shops, you will still get plenty for £20. I have 3 children and don't spend more than £20-25 per child either eventhough I can afford to. I don't really see your point as £20 is plenty, isn't it?

I am delighted I've got the kids' presents from ebay - preloved and nice and cheap. (Why pay over 30 notes for Kerplunk in a brand new box ffs?)

hear hear to everyone else who says that it really really is the thought that counts.

have only read the op

I have bought some xmas pressies from a charity shop (one for MIL and one for my brother)

I figure it is a win win situation - the charity gets money, ecologically it is very sound, I save money and the pressies are immaculate, no-one would know they came from a charity shop (though I will tell them!)

If only more people would do this instead of shelling out loads of money on crap their kids hardly look at which ends up in landfill...

You lot are bloody brilliant! My friend phoned this morning and asked me to come Christmas shopping and I explained to her that i would be shopping in charity shops thinking that she would look down on me (she's spent over £200 on her daughter already) but she surprised me and offered to come with me! I haven't been able to tell my boyfriend yet which is stupid as he loves charity shops i think its a pride thing. I've not been able to sort my email out yet but will do it asap. Fantastic tips on this thread

agree with CD
we are moving house this week and I've given loads to charity and keep wanting to buy stuff in the shop but have to remind myself to wait until afer we've moved
the stuff I donated is all in good nick and will make lovely Chritmas presents so really don't worry

spent over £200 on her daughter? What do people buy? Insane!

shakeysgirl- did you get my email?

Most of my presents are what I got from Chocolate Teapot cleaning out her toys

Don'#t fprget car boot sales - I have just picked up a hotwheels set with 5 cars for £2!

we were skint when i grew up mum bought second hand and you know what it was all good stuff she could hunt a bargain, genuinely the thought that counted. you are a financially astute role model, setting a fine example and giving unlimited priceless love,love,love. who wants to be a showy big gob all blah blah bling -nah

I think you're doing a great job not going into debt and setting a shining example to your kids.

We are also on a tight budget and have a strict limit for each child.

It's heartwarming to give to charity and recycle some toys at the same time.

There are plenty of other enjoyments to be had out of christmas other than recieving gifts.

When I look back at my own childhood - I don't really remember the gifts I got - but I remember a frosty christmas morning walk with my dad. I remember how the tree looked. Watching "The Yellow Brick Road" AGAIN, time spent with my family playing games, singing carols, the crib service at church..... those are likely to be the type of memories your kids will cherish too - rather than what gifts they got - so don't feel bad, and concentrate on the other little things that make christmas a special time.

I'm spending £10 per child , oh and dh gets £5.

dds are 4 and 1

Nothing wrong with it. Our working arrangements mean less money to go round, but they get to have me and dad at home more than other children. And I feel quite proud to give them that.

We never had much as children (... dons cloth cap and braces) but honestly we were never that bothered about it, and were very happy just having something to unwrap on Xmas day.

Also, I'm dead pleased not to be contributing to more loads of plastic crap destined for landfill....