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Original poster

Has anyone noticed the bulling going on here?

226 replies

pinatainoaxaca · 23/11/2007 05:06

It seems there are some people who don't have anything better to do. There is some nasty bullying on this site, by a certain group of individuals. They stick together like glue and make idiotic and rude remarks. I am disgusted by these people and quite frankly, have had enough.

They must have so very big issures if they can insult people like they do and not realise that its hurtful and very respectful to others.

OP posts:
superloopy · 23/11/2007 05:38

Just ignore them... Don't read what they have to say and you won't be upset. That's what I do.

bilingualbookworm · 23/11/2007 05:51

I agree, don't listen to their nonsense. Yes, there is a group of playground bullies here. Maybe they haven't grown up yet.

scienceteacher · 23/11/2007 06:00

Yep ... something must be missing from their lives.

zippitippitoes · 23/11/2007 07:05

i don't know what you mean..as expressed in the op...what threads are u talking about? you can report a post/s with the red exc;amation mark

Columbia · 23/11/2007 07:18

Baffled as well....anyone want to enlighten us!? I haven't come across this yet. Is it recent?

Camillathechicken · 23/11/2007 07:29

see, i have been here a year, and every 2 -3 weeks or so, there is a thread like this, talking about bullying and people ganging up on others, ignoring new posters and being aggresive. i for one would like to see links to these threads and to see who these 'certain individuals' are, as i have missed all of this.

there is a difference between a debate or even an argument, where people get heated and disagree with others, and to actual pointed bullying.

if someone launches an offensive personal attack, report it.

if people have offended you , why not sort it out with those people, off board, rather than posting this as it won;t actually acheive anything.

can we also remember mumsnet does a whole lot of good for people?

Camillathechicken · 23/11/2007 07:30
3missyshohoho · 23/11/2007 07:33
Hmm
CranberryMartini · 23/11/2007 07:34

I do get where you're coming from. But on the other hand I do find this site refreshing in that you can say exactly what you think and as other people have told me, you do need the hide of a rhino.

zippitippitoes · 23/11/2007 07:35

well they do come up quite regularly..people do have arguments and people they don't get on with and people they do because it is a reflection of life plus the added ambiguity of being a text medium

but institutionalised bullying just doesn't happen anywhere i have looked

Blandmum · 23/11/2007 07:40

When you are a regular you get sent a list of the people we are going to ignore for the next week

It can be hard to keep up sometimes

Mumsnet is big, sometimes posts get ignored. Sometimes mine get ignored and I've been here since the days of wax tablets and scribes. I've had people have a go at me, I've had personal attacks. It isn't an oldies vs newbies thing. Imho

wannaBe · 23/11/2007 07:40

what always amazes me is that when these threads come up no-one ever seems capable of backing up the claims of "bullying" with any threads where this has occurred.

Thus leaving one wondering if people are just posting these accusations because they know their threads will get a response.

I've been here for two years and I've been on some heated threads where people have viemently disagreed with each other, but then most would go on to the next thread and have a totally civilized conversation with the same person they disagreed with 5 minutes earlier.

Bullying is generally sustained personal attack, not one heated debate. And the former certainly doesn't happen on here, but I'm willing to be corrected if you can show examples.

GibbonInARibbon · 23/11/2007 07:41

As in life there will always be people who think their cutting wit and scathing remarks makes them seem very important and clever...as there will be funny people, thoughtful people and rude people.

MN is never (thank the LORD) going to be a fluffy, 'hugs hunny' and twee site.

But I have never see actual bullying. If people do upset you. Get perspective (and I don't mean that harshly) it's an internet site...walk away for a bit and take a break if you feel like it - but, as lulu said, this place can be a great help and support to many people.

DrSpeckschwarteSurprise · 23/11/2007 07:43

Good post Lulu/Camilla

There are times when I have read a post and I think, "oh, that is a bit harsh". Most of the time it is due to a misunderstanding or a post has hit a raw nerve. If someone is truly vile, then normally another MNetter will jump to the other person's defence.

You have to have a bit of a thick skin on MN as there is no wrapping things up in cotton wool, you get your answer straight.

I find it refreshing, rather be here than in Hunsland

Was it something in particular that annoyed you?

Columbia · 23/11/2007 07:43

I like your name Lulumama!!!

I found another thread the OP was on. It was a bit of an argument. I don't think it contained a 'gang of bullies'. People were being a bit slapdash and nasty though.

Maybe that's what shocked her.

GibbonInARibbon · 23/11/2007 07:44

Apologies for my dreadful grammar there, very tired this morning.

wannaBe · 23/11/2007 07:44

link?

Columbia · 23/11/2007 07:44

giggling at 'Hunsland'

Here

littledawley · 23/11/2007 07:51

I wouldn't call it bullying but I would say there was a hierachy in place. I have often felt 'less valid' as a bottle-feeding mum who wanted a routine for her babies. (Not GF but why do I feel I need to clarify that?!)

Only the other day I asked for some advice about lifting my son onto the loo at night and was told that waking a sleeping child was 'freaky and unnatural'. Now by no means am I saying this is a bullying comment but it isn't helpful or constructive.

I agree that Mumsnet can be a godsend - I had postnatal depression and wouldn't have got through it without this site. I just think that a few people need to come down from their high horses. I just avoid the discussions that bring out the worst of people.

fircone · 23/11/2007 08:01

the first time I posted I was ignored, and then a regular made exactly the same point and there followed heaps of congratulatory posts.

I disagreed with someone once, and the next thread I went on, they turned up there and started having a go at me.

It's just like real life!

But - there are thousands of interesting comments, some great advice and posts which make me laugh, so, as someone else said, just try to grow a thicker hide. (Sometimes difficult, I agree!)

lemonaid · 23/11/2007 08:02

So, say, custardo (TBH I haven't the faintest idea how she fed her children, but she's pro-routine, pro-smacking, etc., etc.) is a delicate wallflower bobbing away at the bottom of the MN hierarchy?

I really think you are projecting some of your own insecurities here. There are plenty of prominent MNers who are pro-routine. There are plenty of prominent MNers who bottle-fed. They've never struck me, or I suspect anyone else, as "less valid".

Piggy · 23/11/2007 08:03

But when you are asking advice from thousands of complete strangers from very different backgrounds and very different approaches to life (and parenting in particular) you will almost certainly get some advice you don't like or don't think is helpful. That's one of the reasons why I think the AIBU thread is a waste of time. So many people seem to think it's a way to validate their stance on something and get really arsey when not everyone supports their viewpoint.

And some people are direct and abrupt in real life and that will be the case on a the internet.

DrBunsentheHarpsichordCarrier · 23/11/2007 08:03

actually, I think it is far more unpleasant and leads to more bad feeling to start threads like this talking about "certain individuals" and accusing them of nasty bullying. If you don't name names and then everyone comes on and says "oh yes I know what you mean" then to be honest I don't see any purpose to this thread other than to make other people paranoid and upset.
if you have a problem, if you have something to say then come right out and say it, this broad hinting and nudge nudge wink wink business is not helpful. give us a link to the thread. if you have a problem with a particular person, then ime it is best to contact that person direct.
skulking around like this is just cowardly and childish. this is not the playground and actually if our children behaved like this in the playground we would soon pull them up for it.

SantaBeClausImWorthIt · 23/11/2007 08:05

I don't think there's any bullying on here - I've been posting for over a year now and have not seen it happen.

What I have happen are some shocking exchanges - like the one linked above - where someone, for whatever reason, posts something deliberately offensive and insulting.

There are one or two posters who seem to like this kind of provocative way of posting. Usually, though, it's about misinterpretation. Occasionally it's just ignorance and being blinded by self delusion.

It's particularly the case on the AIBU threads, when the OP doesn't like the advice they are being given.

zippitippitoes · 23/11/2007 08:06

ah not getting the answer you expect or want ort getting no answer at all isn't bullying

everyone gets ignored i certainly am on a regular basis more you post less you notice the little stuff

if you think someone doesn't like you then maybe just be pleased you have registered with someone at all..mumsnet is now huge and i have more or less asbandoned the idea of getting to know people unless we regularly coincide on threads

sense of humoor is an individual thing..

so chill babes and enjoy

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