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Original poster

Are you a SAHM with full time school children?

104 replies

sparkler · 02/10/2007 11:29

I was a SAHM for eight years but now my two daughters are at school I work as a temp secretary with hours that can vary and have been doing this for almost a year. I sometimes wonder if I went back to work at the right time and am thinking about whether to cut my work hours right back and spend more time at home.
Just wondered if anyone out there is a SAHM, whether or not or when you are thinking about going back to work and what types of things you do with your time when the children are at school.

OP posts:
Sobernow · 02/10/2007 11:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
sparkler · 02/10/2007 15:43

.

OP posts:
Pixel · 02/10/2007 17:25

During the day in term time I do some work from home for a printers but it varies what work I get so it is all or nothing. Otherwise I'm busy doing all the things I can't do when ds is at home (he is severely autistic) which includes looking after the allotment, shopping (ds-supermarket nooooooo!), getting some proper exercise (ie swimming/cycling), catching up with friends. Even being able to do the ironing at a civilised hour is nice sometimes! Looking after ds is pretty full-on as he wakes very early (I try to let dh sleep as he has two jobs) so term time is necessary for me to recharge my batteries a little bit as well as get on top of jobs. I think I would soon be ill and/or mad otherwise .

Original poster
sparkler · 02/10/2007 17:54

I'm supposed to be working five days next week. Beginning to wish I hadn't offered to do it now I feel like I do.

OP posts:
PandaG · 02/10/2007 17:57

Yep, I am a SAHM - was CM for 7 years while DC at home, but have almost completely stoppped CMing now DD is at school. I am looking for a job atm, part time, term time only, to create a little extra income, and to stop me going round the bend. I need to get out of the house and work with other people, hence ending the CMing.

iota · 02/10/2007 18:00

I'm a SAHM with 2 boys in primary school. I want a 15 hr a week job, Sobernow, but they do seem few and far between.

Meanwhile I do manage to fill my time quite nicely

brimfull · 02/10/2007 18:04

same as pandag

Ds has just started full time school.

I am thinking of doing a teaching assistnts course in January.

I am starting volunteer work at ds's school next week.It'll be only 5 hrs a week .

I need to find something that gives me ££ in school time.The usual quandary really.

I do find there is plenty to keep me busy during school hrs at the moment.Gym,housework,seeing friends etc
Would like to carry on not working but I do feel I may go mad if it went on too long.

LIZS · 02/10/2007 18:21

I was until 2 weeks ago . 2 weeks into a pt(21 hours) 2 month temp contract with possibility of permanent position. Supposed to only be 4 days but first week I started on the Wednesday and did 3 days, last week had a hospital appointment on day off, this week dd was off sick today so am working on my day off instead.

Was hoping to use day off to do food shop, appointments, help at school, see friends for coffee/lunch etc. I used to spend a lot of time here , food shopping 2 or 3 times a week, housework and so on and have yet to get into a routine to fit it all in still.

milou2 · 02/10/2007 18:27

Hi Sparkler, I've been SAHM from the start and my boys are 9 and 12 now.

When my younger one started at school I sort of decompressed for at least a year and made a start on the household management which had gone by the board for a long time.

Since then I've done various voluntary jobs, a great eye opener, helped with reading at school, very helpful to see the whole process happening with other people's children, had an allotment, gone self-employed, IT courses, been around my mother in law while she wasn't well, she lives next door.

No one I know says this, but sometimes I need to rest in the day so can have the energy to help with homework and the emotional rollercoaster of a child at secondary school. I have to get up very early too, so without rest I would not function.

claricebeansmum · 02/10/2007 18:31

DC are 11 and 9 and am a SAHM. DH works long hours so I keep the house and children ticking over so he does not have to deal with any of that stuff. I look after allotment, go to gym, etc etc.

If I could find a term-time only job which fitted in with the school hours I would love it but hey-ho...

clumsymum · 02/10/2007 18:46

I try to get part-time work during termtime, but wouldn't want it permanently because of the school holiday problem, I like to spend time with ds then.

If I'm not working, I LOVE the time at home on my own. I always promise myself that I'll get bits of the house organised, but often it doesn't happen. I love the opportunity to listen to Radio 4 and Read a quality paper, and spend time on my genealogy research.

It also means I have time to make special meals, cakes etc, that go by the board when I'm working.
If we could afford me not to work at all, that would be fine by me.

iota · 02/10/2007 18:50

a big advantage of me not working is that we have more time at the weekend to do fun stuff as a family instead of chores - and weekends are important to us as dh often works away in the week

iota · 02/10/2007 18:51

and dh gets to spend the afternoon watching rugby instead of me nagging him to do chores

LIZS · 02/10/2007 18:54

That's partly what worries me iota. Normally dh doesn't have to worry about shopping , washing, ironing etc at the weekends

iota · 02/10/2007 18:56

Liz - if I do get a job, I am planning to do chores after I get the kids from school, instead of wasting time on mumsnet

pagwatch · 02/10/2007 18:57

I am a SAHM with three children between 14 and 5. 5 year old has just started school.
Pondered getting a job but talked myself out of it for a couple of fairly good reasons.

Although i am only a few weeks into this new found and long awaited freedom I am still trying to get used to it - but have started with a major clearout prior to re-decorating.
I am really looking forward to having a home that feels like a home rather than an extended laundry and playroom.

Mercy · 02/10/2007 19:08

I'm nearly there!

2 weeks ago ds started nursery school 5 morning a week and dd in Yr2.

I'm aiming to help out at the school after Christmas, partly with a view to starting a TA course as ggirl said. However I plan to have a whole term to myself before I start looking for work or a course (I have supported dh through a p/t OU degree for several years and had 2 dc during that time so I reckon I deserve a bit of time to myself).

Having said that financial necessity may well kick in earlier, so who knows?

Atm I'm (very) slowly catching up with 6 odd years of tidying/housework etc

1dilemma · 03/10/2007 01:16

Don't know whether to hope Xenia does see this thread or doesn't , althugh I so echo the 'catching up with 6 years of housework' it just snowballs doesn't it?

Hallgerda · 03/10/2007 09:14

I'm a SAHM, DCs 8, 9 and 13. If I could find a job that would fit neatly into school hours (bearing in mind travelling time) not give me a school holiday problem and be sufficiently well paid to be worth my while, I'd do it. As I haven't yet found such a job, I do voluntary work and some study, and enjoy a not too stressful lifestyle.

Anna8888 · 03/10/2007 10:04

I'm a SAHM, my daughter has just started pre-school (French école maternelle) every morning and I have a very part-time job starting after the November half-term.

I completely echo the posters who said that by being a SAHM one's partner who works hard all week doesn't have to do chores at the weekend and all the family can have lots of fun time together at the weekend. I know that if I worked full-time, my family would have a more stressful existence as I wouldn't be available "behind the scenes" to keep the same show on the road. Our quality of life would undoubtedly drop.

HenryBenry · 03/10/2007 10:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HonoriaGlossop · 03/10/2007 10:19

I would LOVE to be a SAHM - my ds is at school full time now and I can so imagine my life if I could stay at home; clean house (REALLY clean, rather than rushing round getting whole house done in one morning a week clean)washing DONE rather than piling ominously up in one corner and looking like a monster by Friday.....time to make home cooked meals ready so that I can PLAY with ds when he gets in from school instead of cooking.....time to go shopping for food!

Sigh......

Instead it's drop ds, drive to work at breakneck speed, work, drive back like stink to get ds at 3, cook dinner, attempt to put house back together while resisting urge to collapse on sofa, blah blah.

I see exactly what Anna means about being a SAHM meaning you have more quality family time.

Caroline1852 · 03/10/2007 10:23

I am a SAHM of 4 children - 2 school age and 2 pre school. I can only echo what Anna has said below. Some things are important and some things and not. Maintaining a harmonious and relaxing home life is very important to me. Others feel commuting and meetings are important.

Indiechick · 03/10/2007 10:29

Yeah, that's exactly why women with children go out to work, for the commute and the meetings.
Are you lot having a laugh?! You've got all your children in school and you're still not working?! I don't get it. What about earning some money? Paying into a pension? Or are you going to live off a man all your lives?!

Gobbledispook · 03/10/2007 10:35

How incredibly rude. It's none of your damn business how other people run their lives and certainly not your place to judge them.

There is more to life than money, for some people at least.