what has happened to the Zappata roll call thread in chat?

[marmitemad]

I've lost it from my watched threads and can't find it by searching either, am I just being stupid?

Hi Marmitemad
If it was in chat, then it could have been deleted. Sorry about that. If there are threads you want moved from chat so they don't get deleted, drop us a line on contactus at mumsnet dot com or start a thread here.
MNHQ

hi marmite.

Methinks you just started us a new zappata thread

Hi it's expired. Chat threads do after a while. We can get it back and put it into other subjects if you like?

oops x-post.

thanks tech... we knew it would expire sooner or later.

And it's our own blardy fault for not posting on it for a while.

Tis ok, we can use this one that marmite's kindly started for us

yay...a new thread! Hows my zappata mates?

ok here, fred.

Taking dd2 to her first day at nursery in half an hour

Oooooooooooohhh..hope it goes well! BTW i saw your comment on the Dr T's thread. How are things with dd1 and dd2..sorry to hear that they you are having problems...

I tend not to talk about it, tbh, if I start, I may not be able to stop iykwim.

She's been like this since the day dd2 was born.

Both dp and I have made a point of letting her know how much we love her, and tried to reassure her that dd2 will never replace her, but she is so horrible to dd2 - to the point that I have (seriously) considered asking my mum to have dd1 as I am worried that she will really hurt dd2 some time.

Yet if we ask her to babysit, she is absolutely fine and looks after them really well - tis only when dp or I are around that she bullies dd2.

Don't know how to handle it and after 3 years am at the end of my tether.

Were your older two ok when dd3 came along?

(see what I mean, I started, and I rambled and waffled and twas an extraordinarily long post)

I have to say that they loved her o bits...but it's different..it was them then her..not ne of them then another years later...have you asked her why?

yep.

Sometimes she says she doesn't know, sometimes she says she hates her, sometimes she just goes quiet and sulky....

anyway, hopefully Dr T will feel so sorry for me with my jealous teen problem that she will email me with some advice, we will become best buddies, culminating in me writing her next tv series

lol Squonk...

Do you get to spend much time with her alone these days?

we try.

Tis better now the two littlies are sleeping a bit better (well, in the evenings anyway, not so much through the night)

tis tough though as dp is waaaay too busy to look after the littlies, so tis generally the four of us and dp working.

We got a fair bit of time on our own together over the hols though.

my two are jealous at times ,,,but we try and emphasise what things they get to do that dd3 can't. i also ensure they have plenty of privacy when at home and i don't expect them to come alog to all our weekend activities...which i miss

I think not giving her privacy was where we went wrong a bit - I wanted her to share in the "family time" so when she disappeared upstairs, I always called her down again.

Have stopped this now, so we'll see if things improve.

Changing the subject, dd2 was fab at nursery and ds (who I had to take with me as I had no babysitter) was also very well behaved. Was dead proud when nursery woman complimented me on their behaviour [proud mummy emoticon]

Awwww bless them.

All your dc's are lovely though...

I know what you mean about the privacy issue - I used to feel weird about the other two disppearing upstairs but then realised thats what they would have been doing anyway, with or without a baby sister so I accepted that they needed a break from 'toddlerdom' sometimes too.

found you!
(was elliek/joma)
wasn't on the thread much but had wondered why it had vanished!

Hi everyone,

sorry to been awol for so long but have been struggling with my sad feelings again. Am beginning to think maybe I need some ADs although thats a bit scary too .

DH is being very supportive and worked from home today and I felt much better having someone else at home all day even if we had to be fairly quiet. I put dd in the Quest (bought from egg) and did lots of pruning and digging in the garden .

I have also just got in from seeing "Knocked up" at the cinema - very funny but very realistic and scary head crowning shots and now have a nice glass of red wine in hand.

I was confused as to why the thread had completely disappeared, didn't realise there was a time limit as well. should we start again in chat or other subjects or carry on here?? what is the time limit?

Hi Marmite, sorry to hear you're not happy again..
Do you have any idea what could e causing you to feel down?

Hi Fred,
you'll wish you hadn't asked....

I'm still not sleeping too well because of my joint pain and the crappola pharmacy can't seem to get the amitriptyline solution which dr said would be better than the tablets (have been waiting 3 weeks now!) and what sleep I can grab is disturbed by bad dreams about dd which dh thinks are linked to my leaving her to go back to work in 6 weeks time.

Conversely I also sort of feel like I don't have an identity without dd, that I don't know who I am any more and I don't have anything else to talk about. I feel like I start to lose control with her and shout a lot which is hard to deal with as I've never been like this and also because she isn't intentionally winding me up. I seem to spend most of the week being so organised and calm on the surface that inevitably sometimes things overspill.

DH wants to me see if I can get some counselling although the thought of saying aloud some of my feelings to a stranger horifies me and I am pretty sure there would be a long waiting list as well.

We are going on holiday next Wed to visit friends in Menorca but I am just not looking forward to it and can feel the stress about flying/food etc building up.

thanks for listening to my random typing.

Oh marmite..how old is your dd?
Some parts of your post remind me so much of myself when dd3 was about 8-9 months old.

Do you and DH get to go out much or have fun just the two of you?
Sorry to her about the pain you're in, I don't know what to suggest other than going back to the docs and asking if they can order it direct?

Hi Fred,

I'm not sure if I'm pleased or embarassed that you're reading my rantings tonight?

dd is 6.5 months old and really good most of the time although we have a dreadful screeching going on atm when she seems to not want to do something I want her to, like eat some lunch, or sit in the pram.

DH and I don't get to go out on our own regularly although we did have an excellent time at the wedding last week . DH says I need to plan more me time which makes me feel a bit guilty as I know he doesn't like going off to work but I don't think he understands how hard it can be for me at home sometimes. I really don't feel I could talk so openly in RL as I would just feel more inadequate so thanks for listening.

with regard to my joint pain I have my 6 month consultant review on Friday so maybe I might get some med changes.

How are your lot doing? any back to school traumas?

Marmite, I really did have this exact scenario ( minus the pains)...

DD3 is dp's first child and to say she is the apple of his eye is like saying that saddam hussein was a bit mean...
He can't understand why I would possibly dream of going back to work or escaping for a day as he pines to be back with her every day when he has to go to work...
I can't always tell him how i feel as i think i should be happy that I am lucky enough not to have to work....

I also had a screetchy dd when she was about that age and i often daydreamed about putting earplugs in..or keeping my ipod in on loud!
Once dp cam ehome and before he was through the door I handed her over, burst into tears and said 'I WANT to go back to work - tomorrow!! Then went and sat in the bath crying..mainly because I felt such a terrible mum for resenting her taking all my time, energy and attention.

It did pass..quicker than I could have believed...they change so much so quickly. Don't be hard on yourself Marmite..being a mother is one long guilt trip sometimes.

Fred,
thanks again for listening, it really helps to know I'm not alone in feeling like this, I feel better already.

I do turn the radio up quite loud sometimes to try and drown out the shrieking but dh dropped the ipod in a bucket on Sun (he was mopping the kitchen floor) so that options out the window atm.

off to bed now, am reading the Memory Keepers Daughter which is quite sad but also gripping although I still usually fall asleep after 2 pages.