Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Other subjects

Do wimpy kids anno yyuo

190 replies

Mud · 27/07/2007 13:26

stuck in park today, in cafe
woman and 6 year old boy in long shorts and t-shirt like ever y other kid there
boy shirieking at top of his voice about being cold and theyu should shut the doors - ear-piercing and sobbing mother cuddling and explaining, he calms down and then starts up aain - so loud - so verly loud

OP posts:
HedTwig · 28/07/2007 08:36

interesting thread

got to the end and ROFLed at Handlemecarefully .. ROFL in recognition of course 'talk silently to self, fixed smile of empathy plastered on face'

snort

FrannyandZooey · 28/07/2007 08:46

Madamez, I don't agree

nobody is going to have the kind of life where they can ALWAYS cuddle their child for hours - everyone, from babyhood, learns that sometimes their needs have to be put on hold if the other person is temporarily busy

however I think that showing your child that you take their needs seriously and treat them as a priority where possible, is important. I think it is important

a) for their own self-esteem

b) for the good relationship of trust that you want there to be between you

c) for developing empathy for others

d) for teaching them that looking after their own needs is IMPORTANT - loads of fucked up people around who have no idea about looking after themselves emotionally and attempt to do so through drink, food, sex, etc instead

e) for allowing expression of emotions, especially in boys - not that we have to suppress all negative feelings including physical pain and emotional hurt

I think the example you give, of a drama queen, shows a flawed understanding of human nature. I think the kind of person you describe very clearly has huge UNMET needs which they are carrying into adult life. I don't think that a person who has been taught that empathy and caring is available when they need it, from people who love them, behaves in that needy and desperate way.

haychee · 28/07/2007 08:59

ive only read the op and following couple of posts, but i have to say, i cant stand wimpy kids. I have 2dds, neither are wimpy, they do whinge but are quite rough and tumble for girls. If they fall over i dont pander to them, especially if its just a minor trip with no apparent injuries. Once we went to the park and dd2 fell off the swing backwards, but it wasnt a high fall and she landed on the soft spongey black stuff they have under the swings. The mother next to me gasped and made a few comments, "ooh sweetie are you alright?" etc. I just looked at dd2 and said "come-on up you get your alright" and she did, she got up and didnt wimp out, she went off and played with something else. A prime example of how a mothers reaction can encourage this wimpyness. By pandering to them at every little incident makes them believe its ok to be wimpy. Another friends dd1 who is 7, may fall and never makes any attempt to get herself up, she sits and waits for mum to come running in and pick her up. I mean honestly, if she were mine id tell her to get up and stop being such a baby. But because her mum has always pandered to her in this way the dd expects it. Dont misunderstand me, if my dc are hurt then im the first one to give them a cuddle and kiss, but i dont pander to every single little scratch and bump.

Leati · 28/07/2007 09:14

I think it depends on what you mean by "whimpy." Kids who are whimpy because over indulgent parents have babied them, Yes. Sensitive kid who cries during Old Yeller, No.

HedTwig · 28/07/2007 09:20

I agree partly with you Franny .. of course 'needs' must be met, but I do think it is important to differentiate between 'needs' and 'wants' and perhaps that is what some of the other posters are discussing.

It is very easy to read a stereotype into the way parents post on here .. which just isn't true of anyone

HedTwig · 28/07/2007 09:23

I really don't think one teaches empathy by attending to an individual child .. I think empathy is far far more complex that that and takes a lot of discussion about feelings

haychee · 28/07/2007 09:24

I think wimpy to me means, the type of child that is frightened of most things, or who cries like its the end of the world at every stumble and trip.
My dds are always covered in bruises because i let them explore their abilities not hold them back "you cant do that you will hurt yourself" within reason wherever possible i let them find out or themselves if they are going to hurt themselves or not.

FluffyMummy123 · 28/07/2007 09:25

Message withdrawn

haychee · 28/07/2007 09:26

Agree hedtwig,i think empathy is much deeper than just displaying empathy to your dc when they fall over.

HedTwig · 28/07/2007 09:28

DD is extremely empathetic, but so is DS .. neither have had any attention at all when they fall over and start to whinge .. and 9 times out of 10 they get up and get on with it because that's what they expect .. of course as we've always taken that attitude we know when its 'real' or 'crocodile' and we rarely get 'crocodile tears'

we also have a mantra that 'Twigletts aren't afraid of a little rain / cold / wind

harpsichordcarrier · 28/07/2007 09:44

some children are more sensitive than others to loud noises/changes &c.
different children need treating in different ways becuase not every child has exactly the same emotional needs. what with them being individuals and all.

harpsichordcarrier · 28/07/2007 09:46

anyway, no, not really to answer the OP. I generally think - gosh I am glad dd1 is a bit easier in that respect than she used to be and I empathise with the parent

FluffyMummy123 · 28/07/2007 09:46

Message withdrawn

Leati · 28/07/2007 09:47

These guys don't look whimpy to me

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=2724&threadid=363207&stamp=070728094432

harpsichordcarrier · 28/07/2007 09:48

she used to be very sensitive to loud noises, she used to go mad when I turned the hoover on or at the sound of an approaching train, was very scared of dogs, was nervous in new places &c.
dd2 is quite different, although she did get hysterical at a barbie horse the other day

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/07/2007 09:50

I think words like "drippy" and "wimpy" and "wet" and "pathetic" are more about the exasperation the person experiencing them feels that they're not a nicer, kinder person than about the child they're projecting their self-loathing onto, really.

HM

FluffyMummy123 · 28/07/2007 09:51

Message withdrawn

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/07/2007 09:51

Cod proves my point in fine style

HM

harpsichordcarrier · 28/07/2007 09:52

what does annoy me is when the parents of big bruising kids who hassle my dd and make her cry who say " oh that didn't hurt! don't be such a wimp! you need to toughen her up!"

VeniVidiVickiQV · 28/07/2007 09:54

Yes, I think that's another reason people get so annoyed with children who can display their emotions - theirs are lumbering elephantine emotionless drones who enjoy going "ug" and thumping each other over the head with bits of wood.

It's jealousy, pure and simple.

HM

harpsichordcarrier · 28/07/2007 09:56

hunker you are in quite a combative mood this morning

FluffyMummy123 · 28/07/2007 09:57

Message withdrawn

HedTwig · 28/07/2007 09:59

being able to display emotions is admirable in context

being unable to control emotions is not

haychee · 28/07/2007 10:05

well said hedtwig

harpsichordcarrier · 28/07/2007 10:16

it's all a matter of perspective
you are thinking, why can't that child control his emotion
we are thinking, why can't that child control his aggression
the ability to deal with your emotions effectively (i.e. rather than just suppressing them) is a skill that doesn't come easily.