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Original poster

I think I need therapy or something.....I'm driving myself nuts

41 replies

nutcracker · 13/09/2004 10:13

Or a life coach or somebody like that.

I cannot make a desicion about my future to save my life.
I chop and change my mind about several things about 10 times a day, and usually have a headache by lunch time cos of it.

This is a typical conversation that I have with myself in my head.

Right I will go back to college, I really do want to BUT do I ?? Am i just doing it cos i think others think i should ??? No i'm, noti'm doing it for me and my family, or am I.
I want another baby, definatly, well maybe. No i really do, but people won't like it. Oh who cares, well I do , i hate it when people are cross with me. Yes right we'll have another, well we m ight. Or am i going to go back to college.

Are you getting the picture yet ???

I ended up crying myself to sleep last night cos i just don't know what to do. I'm not even cinfident in any descion that I make, when i eventually make one.

Am i going mad ??

OP posts:
Original poster
nutcracker · 13/09/2004 11:47

Yes definatly know what you mean , so why not have another baby now.
Seems to make perfect sense to me (says she who can't decide for herself )

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golds · 13/09/2004 11:56

You two are as bad as me, I say go for it, if you have seen my other thread, you will know that I have think I have just talked myself into trying again too.

A friend of mine has 5 kids, her youngest being 7 - her house is full of activity, laughter and fun, I come home from there to my well organised, tidy and BORING house.

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/09/2004 12:04

Yeah are you really Gold, thats great

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golds · 13/09/2004 12:07

right this moment, YES ask me again tomorrow I know I will regret it if I don't.

I wish someone would just say to me, this is what you would be good at, forget this, forget that, do this etc etc.

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/09/2004 12:13

O.k I have decided.

I am going to sort out some driving lessons, and a course with the OU, and will start trying for another baby in August of next year.

Do you think i could of passed my driving test by then ??

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Original poster
nutcracker · 13/09/2004 12:22

Feeling quite calm about it at the mo too. Thats a first

Suppose i'll have to start saving for that MPV

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coddychops · 13/09/2004 12:22

nutty!
are you scared fo going back to colege?

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/09/2004 12:24

No not scared just unsure it would be the right thing for me at this point in time.

Do I sound scared then ??

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Tessiebear · 13/09/2004 12:39

Do you sometimes feel (as i do sometimes) that you should get a job/ study to prove to others that you are more than a sahm? IMO having kids and being a good mum is just as important a job as any i can think of (Free "on the job" training provided)

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/09/2004 12:53

Yes Tessiebear, that is exactly it.
I just know that when i have another baby lots of people will think, i'm just doing it so i don't have to go to work and that i'm wasting my life having babies when i could be having a career.

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Tessiebear · 13/09/2004 13:26

It is really hard to stop worrying about what other people think - sometimes i think that i base most of my decisions on what "people will think" - Would these "people" think of me when they make their decisions??? Just recently i am tryin really hard to think just of myself and my family - not only does it take off a lot of pressure, but you only have one life - so live it how YOU want to live it.

Original poster
nutcracker · 13/09/2004 13:30

You are totally right Tb. I should try that too.

In my ideal world i would just say to family and friends that yes we are going to try for another baby, yes we do know there will be complications but we are grown ups and have made the desicion after lots of soul searching and info gathering, and feel it is the right descion for us as a family.

In the real world I will probably just say 'well if you don't like it then tough', and then i'll cry.

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Tessiebear · 13/09/2004 14:10

I read a really good article in one of the Sunday Supplements yesterday about this woman who wanted to change her life and how she felt about herself etc Here are her 5 steps:

  1. Decide what you want your life to look like:
    Stop focusing on what you dont want. Write a colourful and detailed description of the life you want to lead.

  2. Just Be it
    What would you have to believe about your self to create your new life? Write down your answer - e.g "I'm clever/beautiful/good enough". For the next week act as if you are.

  3. Focus on the present
    Start looking at how you can enjoy life right now. What three daily habits will make you laugh, make you feel utterly nurtured and make life effortless today?

  4. Blitz your energy drains
    Putting up with rubbish in your life - be it needy friends or the junk in your cupboards - holds you back and wastes your time and energy. Write a list of 100 energy drains in your life and deal with one per day.

  5. Get more than you need
    What do you need more of in your life - time, space, love, energy, money? Be specific about how much more. Then work out ten ways of getting more than enough, and set up systems to ensure that it stays that way.

I know this is'nt entirely relevant but i found it quite intersesting!!!

Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2004 18:13

O.k so i ended up going to college today even though i saaid i wasn't going.

I felt i should at least go and see if i felt like i wanted to go back.
TBH I don't think I do, I was only there for 2 hrs but i was bored, they are still so unorganised it's a wonder anyone ever gets anything done, and I just felt crap, and am now very tired again.

Not sure whats gonna happen now, suppose i'm back to square 1.

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nikcola · 14/09/2004 18:26

hey nutty i feel a lot like you too and now im starting collage next week i still think ive donethe wrong thing, i no im not much help but i just wanted to let you no your not alone

Original poster
nutcracker · 14/09/2004 18:30

Cheers Nik

Just feel all over the place at the mo.

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